Alligator Wrestling

The Underpants of Optimism are slowly making their way down my knees, shortly to arrive at their scheduled destination of my ankles. That is to say, my Balloon of Hope has a slow puncture. –Molly Malone of “Cynicism isn’t an Option… It’s a Lifestyle”

Today’s Exploit:

I made a friend on my last rig, and we sometimes talk. He is kinda crazy and we have some strange conversations, to say the least. Here is an example of some of the things we talk about:

Joseph: So, do alligators swim up to the rig?

Me: I haven’t seen any, yet. I don’t think I want to.


This is probably what it would look like.  Maybe more violent.

Joseph: Yeh I’d scream

Me: I‘d have to wrestle it, and I’d probably win. Then all the guys here would be intimidated and I‘d have an even harder time making friends.



See?  I can beat the snot out of those crazy gators.

Joseph: Hahahha. Either they’d b skerd of you or wanna date you.

Me: Um…

Joseph: They’d want you to have their baby!

Me: Oh dear.

Joseph: Bah hahahahaha

Me: Evil.

Joseph: All love sista.



Me: Mmmmhmmm. Somehow I’m not seeing it.

Joseph: Aww you should feel it then.

Me: Mmmmmmm. Nope.

We also argue about things like cartoons and children’s books. Or whose night is more boring. I always win because I have to fight with computers, all alone, by myself. He also thinks it’s funny to claim he’s going to send nude photos of himself, because he knows it embarrasses me. So then I want to strangle him for a while, until he gets another of my jokes. Then we can be friends again.

PS Dad: Tonight I’m going to make you research your own recipes, since you don’t bother with my research. I worked hard to find the perfect ones for you!