Schedule

My house is going to be painted and furnished soon. 

Excitement is abundant.

Today’s Exploit:

I have a sort of schedule for a minute. I work 20 days and have 10 days off. Three of us cycle through this pattern. Or at least we did for a month. Then one of the other MWDs made the other mad. And now we might not have a schedule any more. 

I have my fingers crossed for the house painting week and for Thanksmas week. 

Please let the gods of the oilfield have mercy and let me have those weeks home.

I have big plans for those weeks, and even menues ready to go.

Five Year Birthday

This week’s recommended reading:

Found the image Here

Today’s Exploit:

I finally reached my five year birthday. 

It was a big celebration on Sunday. I went to town, I didn’t run and I made Lemon Brownies.

Sadly, town was dull and rainy, but I did find a game with jumpy frogs and give a hamburger to a man who seemed down on his luck. 

The Lemon Brownies I did not find at all impressive (not tart enough and tasted like egg), although everyone else seemed to like them and they were gone by the time I went to bed. They did keep calling them lemon bars and I had to use all my self control to refrain from correcting them. 

I also got a congratulatory letter from “the company” and Dane told me I would have to go to a banquet and give a speech in order to receive my five-year pin.

I said no thanks and skipped to the box. 

Giant Strawberry Jam

I have been taking advantage of a huge gift of ebooks and my Kindle lately.

I read 3 books last night.

I’m running out of authors that I know and will be starting on new ones soon.

Today’s Exploit:

I got some strawberries so that I can try another round of jam. 

Since they are from local farms they are picked the day, or the day before, they are displayed in the back of someone’s truck on the side of the road.

We stopped for a flat of the largest strawberries I have ever seen. Many of them were as big as my fist.

And since they were so ripe they had started molding by the following afternoon when I had a chance to start slicing. I got about half done that night and stuck them in the fridge with some lemon juice. 

The next morning I got a call from work, so I dumped the sliced strawberries in a freezer bag, hurried and sliced the rest, added some lemon and stuck them in another freezer bag. 

Now they are frozen, just waiting for a couple days off work to turn them into a kitchen experiment. 

If I’m lucky, maybe I can get home before strawberry season ends to get another flat.

Some News, Because It’s Been Forever

Hi.  It’s been a while.

Today’s Exploit:

I have been working and working, and working and working.

I learned a new tool, and a new computer system. I had never worked with Linux before, and found it quite similar to MS DOS.  Which is ancient.

I am beating my sister in daily steps. She blames it on work, but I think I’m really just better than her at taking steps.

I am buying a house. I think.

I got another flat of Poteet strawberries.  They are sliced and sitting in the freezer, just waiting to be turned into jam.

It is already the middle of summer here and I’m dying.

That about does it for news, but I’ll write again soon, I promise.

A Sunrise, Wide Angle

Red Jello is my favorite. Then orange. I don’t like the green. 

Also, I don’t like whipped cream on it.

Also again, I just discovered this site, I want them all.

Today’s Exploit:

This color later filled most of the sky.

Wide Angle

Some Pictures on a Drive

I was just very disappointed by a very sugary cup of strawberries and whipped cream. An excess of fake whipped cream and a few over-ripe strawberries are not my idea of an ideal combination. 

Today’s Exploit:

I drove some in Canada.

The rig was an 8.7 hour drive from Calgary. So I took 2 pictures to show you that.

Lots of open space, but trees.

Hey look! MOUNTAINS!

The rig is also 1.98 hours from the nearest city. So I took 2 more pictures to show you. 

You’re welcome.

Attack of the Sugar Ants

I just had to write a paper selling something. So, naturally, I chose Hello Kitty backpacks. Nerdy Hello Kitty, no less. When looking up reviews of this product I found some lovely gems that were something along these lines:

OMG! Hello Kitty is, like, so cool and I (heart) her so much! I totally, like, love this backpack and everyone should, like, totally get one to be as cool as I am now! OMG It's so exciting and I love it so much, everyone in, like, all my, like, classes is going to be, like, so totally jealous that I got this, like, totally awesome backpack. (;

Except with worse grammar, capitalization, punctuation and emoticons.

Today’s Exploit:

I had a nice long break between my last one and this one. Almost 2 1/2 weeks! In that time I worked on shelves (I’m ALMOST done), ran a long way WITH OTHER PEOPLE, and fought some ants that took up residence in my closet on my porch. I think I almost got rid of them, but we’ll see when I get back.

In the mean time. I arrived at the rig to find all my boxes piled up and ready to be unpacked. Which I did, in the heat, all by myself. I put the computers in the box, along with all of the cables and nonsense that needs to be hooked up. I ran cables to my sensor and a separate monitor, and I set up the satellite. By then I was nice and soaked from sweat and covered in dust from crawling around on the floor and sitting in the dirt to untangle some cables. 

My night hand arrived in time to run one last cable and set up his own computer while I showered and got some dinner. When I came back to the box, after a few hours, to set up some computer files I was assaulted by itty bitty sugar ants. These things like to bite. And then you feel all creepy-crawly with phantom ants for about 6.32 hours. 

After the one bit my hand I looked around to discover that they were EVERYWHERE! They were in Logan’s keyboard, on and under his mousepad, under all of the computers in mass quantities and hiding individually under cables. 

I killed 487.

Then I went and got some bleach, because I heard a rumor that they don’t like strong smells cause it means they can’t follow their neighbor’s trail.  

After about 2 hours of alternately killing mass quantities of ants and spraying the heck out of the counter and any possible entry space I started to feel sick from the fumes and gave up for the night. I still have to kill one or two every day, but it’s much better than being swarmed by them every time I try to work at any of the 172.6 computers. 

And now I have the creepy-crawlies again.  Gah.

A Long Job

Today’s Exploit:

We drilled 7 feet last night. It was a winner of a 12-hour cycle. 

This job is supposed to be done in 4 days, according to the report I received from my manager at the beginning. We have 2 wells to drill and are still working on the first 500 feet of the first one. That means that we still have over 9000 feet to drill. 

At 1.02 feet per hour. 

This is going to be a long job.

A Poem on Drilling

Countdown:  11 Days.  The nerves.  They tingle.

They’re really trying to convert me to shrimp and crawfish out here.  By way of stuffing it down my throat.  

Today’s Exploit:

It never fails.  

The well is almost done.  You want to go home.  Things are going well. 

Go get excited about going home tomorrow or the next day.

BAM!

Something breaks.  You must stay another week.

Cry.

My Sister Says

21 Days left.  I might be able to make it 5.012 miles at this point.

Today’s favorite comic: Surviving the World.

Favorite quote from said comic:   You really haven't lived until you've chased cats around your house like a raptor. The impression also works better when you're willing to bite people. - Dante Shepherd

Today’s Exploit:

My sister came to visit my rig.

Mostly it was because she wanted to steal the keys to my apartment, but still...

The first thing she said:  It smells like Texas.

The second thing she said had something to do with spilling a gallon of water in her lap.

The third thing she said:  Wow, you really weren’t lying!  

This was about the size of my wonderful/hateful box.  

*Note to Cupcake:  You must try chasing Oni Satan as a velociraptor.  Please tell me how it works out.  

Myrtle Mint Needs a Haircut

Countdown:  35 Days.  My calves still hurt.  They may hurt for the rest of the year.

I decided I am going to take a picture of my hat every time it gets dirty.  So I can show all the pretty/gross patterns/whatever.  I was foiled in this endeavor before I even got started.

Today’s Exploit:

My next project is going to be to give Myrtle a haircut.  She is getting very scraggly right now.  

She has seen many new places and endless rigs.  And she is growing lots.  But she also sees the floor of Starla quite frequently.  And, since I have to go to Houston to see the office, she does too.

That means she gets mashed against the floor-mats occasionally because city drivers are stupid.  And once in a while because I’m gawking.  She also has to hang out in the oppressive heat of a car in Texas while I go inside and fight with computers.  

She’s been bent and wilted and dumped and smashed, from that one time I let one of the trainees ride with me.  His stuff fell on her, and she squawked at me in protest.  Then pretended she was going to die for 3.612093 days.  

At the moment she’s trying to grow all to one side of the pot.  I think she wants to tip it over to make me feel bad again.  

Gosh, Myrtle.  I water you and turn you on a regular basis.  What more do you want?  

Oh, new dirt?  I see.  It is true, you are only half full.  I will work on that.

Remembering the Hillbillies

Countdown:  58 Days.

I. Love. My. Job.  In a demented, angry sort of way.

Today’s Exploit:

Today I was remembering some of the people I know from Louisiana.  Lots of them are called Coon Asses.  I’m not sure why, and I’m not sure what region contains them.  But they’re funny.

I remembered Mr. Doyle’s story about beating his brother with a dead raccoon, er possum.

And the time everyone on the rig floor danced a jig when I brought food.

Also, that there are people who still name their kids things like Billy Joe.  And those kids are both very sweet and a bit loco.

The Drive Takes Forever

Countdown:  64 Days.  

I’m reading Great Expectations.  It’s surprisingly easy to follow, usually I have a hard time with the language in the classics.

Today’s Exploit:

Now that I have my home 1-2 hours from where I’ve been working for most of the last 1.783 years they’ve decided to send me back to East Texas.

So I’m back to the 5-6 hour drives to get home.

Stupid oilfield.  

I caved and moved to the hottest place on earth so that I could actually get home in a reasonable amount of time.  I think they sent me out here just to spite me.  

Or it could be that I’m terrible at saying NO.  

Maybe they’ll let me go home if I beg really pitifully.  

The Hot-Stove Virus

Cupcake!  What do you think about 31 March?  I couldn’t find any in May.

Today’s Exploit:

It seems a virus is going around in the trailer.  

No one has been able to turn the stove off for days.  

In the last 3 days I’ve gone to the kitchen 4 times to find at least 1 burner on.  

1. I was heating water for tea and couldn’t figure out why it the stove was so hot without boiling my water instantly.  I had made absolutely sure I had the proper burner before turning it on, I’ve started the wrong one a few times.  But not this time!
2. Went to use the toilet only to see 2 burners glowing red, with no one in sight.  Later, one of the boys told me he thought it would heat the trailer because he was cold.
3. Heated some water this morning, but had to go to the trailer.  I turned the heat down, but the solids control guy decided it was boiling too much.  He moved the pot, but left the burner on.
4. I was heating water to make tea this afternoon while Debbie Downer was frying an egg.  When it was done he turned the burner to HI instead of OFF.

Now I’m afraid to go near the stove for fear I’ll trip over one of the loose floor tiles and land on a red-hot burner.

I love my job.  I love my job...Ilovemyjob...Ilovemyjobilovemyjob...

My Yard is too Small

I think I just became the worst lead hand ever.  I slept through my alarm for the second time, on just this job.

Today’s Exploit:

I miss Jack.  He’s now a lump of mush on my porch, attracting flies and making my landlord call with requests for me to remove him.  I want it to still be Halloween so that I can carve another.

I also miss these two dudes.  I think they need to come stay with me.  We would make cookies and go for bike rides and play “Tickle Monster”.  Unfortunately my yard is not as good as their yard for that game.

Helping my sister make pizza for her birthday.

Posing for me when I visited in April.

My Daily ‘Fix’

I have decided that I like eating out of a mug.  So far I’ve had granola, quinoa, ice cream and garlic chicken pasta.  

Maybe it’s just that the mug is red with white spots.  Or maybe it’s because it’s mine and I wash it myself and hide it in my food-box.

Today’s Exploit:

Hurry up and take the picture already, it’s getting hot up here.

Tired of Working

Today’s TV gems:  super-crazy preacher-lady, Looney Tunes.

I still get the whole back-story, to be sure I’m up to date on these wonderful shows, and the conclusion, in case I might leave just before the show ends.

Today’s Exploit:

I’ve slept four nights in my bed since moving it to my new apartment a month an a half ago.  Most of my nights have been spent running mile and miles to escape the Friday Night Fight Night or Monday Night Smackdown.  

Naturally the top four shows watched in this trailer are:

*The Newlywed Show

*Deal or No Deal

*Smackdown

*Whatever-other-fake-wrestling-show-they-can-find

And they wonder why I don’t spend evenings lolling on the couch with them.  

With the exception of the Newlywed Show each of these contains excessive jumping-around-like-a-lunatic and far to few articles of clothing.  They also contain horrible acting skills, but are taken very seriously by Pat and Ricardo.  

They spend hours discussing the results of the wrestling shows, and exclaiming, “Did you just see that?!”  Most of these exclamations follow very graceful gymnastic stunts where someone gets “knocked out”.

Another delightful pastime of my roommates is to aggravate the night mud logger.  This guy is not pleasant to be around, he complains about everything and is never wrong, but they get him riled up to a fanatical state.

The other night they were doing this as I tried to sleep, after only getting four hours of sleep the night before.  I can generally hear only pieces of their conversations, but this night it escalated into a shouting match.  When I mentioned this the next morning they said, “Oh, we thought you were just taking a long run.”

Seriously?  It’s been dark for two hours!  I’ve never been gone for more than an hour an a half; and you brush off the fact that I probably would have left five hours ago on this run?  At least I know the roughnecks worry about me, they can tell me how long my last four runs lasted.  

I’m stuck in a black hole of utter oblivion, half-naked TV shows and micro-scrutiny.

I want a day off.

Packing a Mountain into a Molehill

I’ve been a slacker lately.  

Also, I’ve been too busy to find something funny to write about.  And when I’m not too busy I fall asleep in my chair.

Today’s Exploit:

I went to Oklahoma City one last time.

I had to pack the last few items I left at that apartment and clean the floors and make sure none of the counters had egg yolk cemented to them.

Just kidding.  I’m good at cleaning up the egg yolk before it turns into cement.  Mostly I had to pack and vacuum.  

First I pulled everything from the rooms into the living room.  

Then I covered my eyes and went to find my vacuum so that I could procrastinate the packing part.  

I vacuumed the two bedrooms and the kitchen and the dining room.  

I took a load of things to the Salvation Army while Starla was still empty and went to the store for lunch and Swiffer scrubbies for my kitchen and bathrooms.

After I had lunch sitting on the newly cleaned dining room floor, while shielding my eyes from the pile that was in the living area, I got out the scrubbies and made those floors squeaky clean.  

I was still trying to avoid the hill in the living room, so I borrowed a dolly from the office and took my desk to the dumpster.  I got there just as a nice man was driving by looking for salvageable items.  He liked the desk, so I helped him pack it into his truck.  

When I took the dolly back to the office, I also took a toy dolly for the office manager’s daughters.  Because it hadn’t been out of it’s box in at least 9.72 years.  

Then the only thing left to do was face the mountain.  

I went back inside and nearly cried.  

Then I decided to be tough and take even more stuff to the Salvation Army.  Cause I drive a Civic.  Only so much junk will fit...

The Salvation Army guy was really excited about the vacuum.  

After that I went back, took a deep breath, and started toting stuff down to Starla.  

It was super-engineering to organize all that stuff to fit economically into a small space.  

It was a work of art.

I couldn’t see out the back window.

BUT I DID IT!  

And then I turned in some keys.

They Sent the New Guy

I think someone stole my shirt.  A dirty, muddy, sweaty shirt.  

Gross.

Either that or I lost it,  which is probably more likely.  I just can't figure out when it happened.


Now I’m down to 3, which means laundry every day. 

Today’s Exploit:

I got a new trainee.

I don’t think this one had ever seen a rig before.

And sometimes he gets completely caught up in an idea that really has no bearing on this job.  And won’t let it go while I try to tell him something important.  

Also, he’s a foot taller than me and big and scary.  So I can’t yell at him to listen.

Not really.  

But he is tall.

Mostly I try to answer his questions briefly and then go back to what I was trying to explain in detail to begin with.  

I’m not really sure what to do with him.  Mostly they send me people who have been on another rig, with someone who knows what they’re doing.  So they already have an idea of what is important and what can be left for later.  

I don’t know if I’m the best teacher...

I hope he’s getting the idea.

Sleep Mode: A Baffling Experience

I finally read those dragon and wizard books by the scary octopus lady (I still equate the name Ursula with the evil witch from “The Little Mermaid”).  The ones my mom told me to read about 15.2 years ago.

A Wizard of Earthsea

The Tombs of Atuan       

The Farthest Shore

-Ursula K. Le Guin

I also just found out there are 3 more in the series.  Time to go to the bookstore...

Today’s Exploit:

Sometimes I wonder about the roughnecks I work with. 

Half of them are super-smart and I can’t hold a candle to the things they know.

But then I meet the ones that I rather doubt could find the on/off button on a computer without help.  

Yesterday I got a call saying that the computer I have on the rig floor wasn’t working.  

Me:  Hello?

RN:  Your computer isn’t working.

Me:  Ok, let me check that it’s still on the network.

RN:  The what?

Me:  It’s still communicating, you’re sure it’s not working.

RN:  Nope, it’s just a black screen.

So I walked up the 48 stairs to the sweltering doghouse.  I trudged over to where 3 guys are standing around a blank computer looking stumped.

I touched the mousepad and turned around to go back to my box.

RN:  Wait, what did you do?

Me:  Nothing.

RN:  Let me see your fingers.

Me:  What?

RN:  I want to see if you have a magnet there, or something.

Me:  The computer just went to sleep mode.  All you have to do is touch the mousepad or press a key.  

RN:  Wow, I thought it was broken!