Texas Style Adventure

My classes are feeling never-ending. I just want these last two weeks to be done. And then I’ll be finished, and no more worthless papers. 

Today’s Exploit:

I made a friend. 

And it wasn’t a tortoise or cow or fuzzy red ant, which, by the way, I have learned are actually wingless wasps and REALLY nasty. 

Ashley is from Florida. She is staying with the company man and she is going to run a marathon in November. 

We went walking because she forgot her running shoes.

On this walk we came across a bull in the road. On the other side of the fence was another, much younger bull. 

We slowed down and I yelled at them so that the one in the road would move. It did, about 10 feet further down the road.

After about 3.2 repeats of this process Ashley decided that the bull might charge us and wanted to be prepared. She found a large hunk of wood and carried it with her for the next half mile while we tried to convince the bull to leave the road long enough for us to walk by. I am not sure why this seemed like it would be a good idea. She claimed that her grandparents owned a ranch. But I didn’t think the bull was going to charge us, either. 

Eventually we made it to the gate and she thought it was safe to drop the hunk of wood. 

The bull decided to leave the road long enough for us to pass on the way back, but the cows on the other side of the fence thought it would be funny to run down the fence line just far enough ahead of us that we were in a dust cloud for half a mile. 

When we finally left the dust cloud behind, Ashley decided that her shoes hurt her feet and took them off. She walked 1.24 miles back to the rig in her socks. 

Thankfully she didn’t step on any of those nasty fuzzy red ants/wasps.

Walking, Because Running Equals Death By Overwhelming Heat

Today’s Exploit:

I have been going for long walks lately. None quite as long as my eventful walk about a week ago, that one was 8.5 miles, I checked. 

However, with the heat and me being lazy, I have spent more time on long walks with a few bursts of running when I’m feeling super motivated. 

Other times I am far more interested in things like Speedy Gonzalez, here.

Or the endlessly boring, flat landscape.

And the baby cows that can’t decide if they want to play, or if I’m some horrible monster that is going to attack.

Also, last night I met the driver for the landowner. And had 4 other trucks stop to ask what I was doing and if I needed a ride. In the process of getting out of the road so that one of said trucks would not kill me I stepped on a thorn. The first one ever to go through my shoe and poke my foot. Stupid Texas plants and their pokeys.

Did you know that it takes 21,000 steps to walk 8.5 miles? And 12,000 to go 5.5? Yesterday I did 7.5 miles and that was 16,000 steps. 

I Saw a Monster

I’ve spent the past few nights having dreams/nightmares about forgetting assignments. They include my high school English teacher, Africa, forgetting homework over the weekend and papers that are supposed to require full reams of paper.  

I don’t know. 

Somehow this pertains to my worry over writing a 500 word paper about a “project”. I was never worried about the 1000 word paper on a subject that is completely new to me.

Today’s Exploit:

I have spent the past few years reading about Chupacabras and thinking that they are some version of the yeti or bigfoot. I don’t know why I thought that. I spend enough time complaining about the heat that I should have realized that a Texas ‘monster’ would not be covered in thick/extra long hair. 

But then I saw a doglike animal on my way to town from one of the rigs. It was extremely skinny, sort of Chihuahua-shaped but closer to 18inches tall, or so. Also, it’s ears were overly large and it’s ribs poked out.

I mentioned this to H. a few days later, because I’d come close to hitting the animal on my trip. The first thing he said was, “A chupacabra!” 

I was completely thrown, I thought it was a dog.

But evidently his version of the monster is a dog with extra long fangs, and mange.

Today I looked up some information on the chupacabra and found that, according to Wikipedia, they should be as big as a small bear, with vaguely alien looking eyes and spikes running down it’s spine. And they should have green lizard skin and three toes on each foot.

Who knows?

I may have seen a mythical monster.

Or I may have seen a sick dog with extra large ears.

The Great Mouse Hunt

Did you know that you can make flax seeds into granola? I didn’t. I want to try it but I can’t find flax in the middle-of-nowhere.

Today’s Exploit:

We have mice.

It appears that we have many of them.

We saw 3 in about 10 minutes the other day.

That is when the hunt began.

Matt and George and Reed take turns with the BB gun, they have set out a multitude of sticky traps and all the doors are blocked with towels to keep them out of bedrooms.

They do this because the mice seem to like to cuddle with me.

They managed to shoot one and catch another on a sticky trap. 

Another got caught in a sticky trap when they were all gone.

It was so sad. 

I hate sticky traps.

So I took the trapped mouse outside and dropped a brick on it so it wouldn’t have to struggle and eventually starve.

I didn’t like it.

I almost cried.

And there was no one there to give me a hug.

They Plague Me

I have been reading Terry Pratchett continuously for the past 2.475 months. I still have many books to go before I finish them all. Yet there are nowhere near enough of them left.

Today’s Exploit:

Another mouse is in our trailer. It was on my bed again the other night. I yelled at it and flailed around trying to throw it off my bed and into never-never land where it will live it’s life in rodent heaven and never want to climb on my bed again. 

Today I did laundry and washed my sheets to cleanse them of mouse filth.

Ew.

Also, today, George told me that he saved my life last night without me knowing it. He shot the mouse as it was making a dash for my room. Then he shot it again as it tried to escape from it’s spot under the stove. 

I’m not sure which makes me more nervous. The mouse or George.

At least it didn’t come and run around on my bed again. 

My sheets won’t last very long if it keeps doing that, since I have to wash them vigorously after being touched by the horrible, horrible monster. 

I think that this is one situation in which I would welcome Oni, and not hate her when she tries to sleep behind my knees. 

A Zoo Visit

I left my plants with my sister, hoping that she would water them. Since I was really nice and watered hers twice while she was in Wyoming.

She promptly tried to kill Myrtle, and I had to have her shaved.

Cupcake calls her a rebel now.

Today’s Exploit:

I went to the San Antonio Zoo with my sister. 

Cupcake likes flamingoes. 

She tried to be a butterfly. 

Butterfly and baby

Did you know butterflies like sweet tea and sunglasses?

She also thought it would be funny to take pictures of me with animal butts. 

Hippo Butt

Rhino But

There's a Zebra Butt hiding behind the fence and next to that charming hut

And we were stalked by the same three immature college boys, and no matter how we tried to get ahead, or behind, or take a different route, they were ALWAYS THERE!

Picture Week

It’s picture week. Because I finally transferred the last 6.2 months worth of pictures from my camera to my computer.

Today’s Exploit:

I went to the cabin in the fall. 

And fought with a beaver. 

And saw the leaves.

I Might Be Able To Sleep Now

I ran 4.97 miles in 45 minutes. I even had to walk 0.33 miles. I have renewed hope that I might be able to finish my race in something somewhat, maybe close to my goal. But I’m trying not to get my hopes up.

Today’s Exploit:

The mouse, the one that has been haunting my nights and making it even harder than usual to fall asleep, and making sure that I wake up even more than normal, has been caught.

Finally.

I’m told it was taken outside. 

I’m guessing it was on a sticky trap and will slowly die of thirst, but I’m going to pretend that it was a snappy trap and it had a quick clean death. Even with the amount of trauma that the monster caused me, I don’t really want it to suffer. 

Naturally the timing of this event is just so that, if I have to stay tonight, tonight will be my last night. And therefore it will not be any easier to sleep because I’ll be excited about going home. 

Gah.

Mice Are No Longer Friends

I have less than 3 weeks until I kill myself in a most torturous manner. 26.2 miles of hopefully not exceptionally hot Texas weather. My goal is 4 hours, I’m pretty sure I’m not going to make it, but I plan on finishing anyway. Then I’ll fall over and twitch a bit before I expire.

Today’s Exploit:

I was okay with the mouse that ran around the kitchen, and not overly concerned about the mousetrap wars that followed.

I was also okay with the two that played under the table while I washed dishes, only running away when I had to cross their path to get to the bedroom. And I was a bit disgusted with the fact that they chewed through one of my headphones, but it was the replaceable part. 

I laughed at George the other day when one ran from the fridge to the recliner and he wouldn’t put his feet on the floor until he had to go outside. 

That all changed last night.

I was in bed trying to relax my brain enough to go to sleep, a nightly trial. Then I heard scratching. When I looked nothing moved and I attributed it to my imagination, which tends to go wild at bedtime. I heard it again, and was met with the same results when I looked for the source. I re-situated myself so that I could see off the bed if I heard another noise, and proceeded to fight the random flight of my thoughts.

Suddenly I felt a tickling on my head. One of those creepy feelings that moves along a line, and you’re sure it’s a bug, but it turns out to be your imagination when you try to brush it away.

I took a deep breath and made myself stay still and try to relax. 

That was when I felt something moving down my side.

I sat up as fast as I could.

The mouse ran the length of the bed and disappeared.

I made a noise something along the lines of “Gaaah-rrrraaaaawwwweeerrr” (which translates to something along the lines of: BLOODY HELL, THERE’S A MOUSE IN MY BED AND THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT SOME PLACE THAT A MOUSE SHOULD BE! GET OFF! GET OFF! GET OFF!) and jumped up.

Naturally by then the mouse had vanished completely, and did not appear to be in any of my bags or under the bed or hiding in the A/C closet. I searched each of these places at least 3 times before I retired to the living room.

I proceeded to sit on the couch, curled as small as I could get, and watch for the mouse for the next hour.  

I also spent this time trying to convince myself that I really needed to get some sleep, and the mouse only touched the outside of the sleeping bag. And maybe my pillow.

Probably my pillow.

I searched the room another 3 times, and my sheets 7 times.

I finally did make myself get back in bed, using a tiny corner of my pillow that I knew no mouse feet had touched.

I got an astounding 2.1 hours of sleep between trying to get comfortable, trying to make myself relax and feeling phantom mice feed EVERYWHERE.

Mice are no longer something I can see without thinking they were in my bed, and probably eating my food while I washed my hands. 

I was ok with traps before, but now I think we need about 17 in each crevice. 

The Mouse House

Countdown: 16 days.

I watched “Drive” a couple weeks ago.  I was more bothered by the blood and violence than a 3 year old.

Today’s Exploit:

Last night I walked into the trailer.  Rather, this morning I walked into the trailer.  

I was greeted by two mice having a lovely time playing chase in the kitchen and laundry hall.  

I stood and watched for a few minutes before taking off my boots and hat and heading their direction to get ready for bed.  

They waited until I was in the kitchen before hiding.  

Later, when I was doing dishes, they came back out to play some more.  Right next to me.  They acted like they owned the place.  

And they played around the sticky traps that the guys had set up.  I’m pretty sure they were taunting the person who decided to buy them.  

When I went to bed I discovered that the little monsters had left a gift on my face mask.  Also one chewed part of the earpiece of my headphones for my iPod.  

Mice.  

Ah, well.  Let the Chicken Boys deal with them.  I’m going to live next door.

I Blame the Bulls, Okay?

I found some new measuring cups that I need.

And they come in the non-traditional/odd sizes as well.  And they’re actually not orange, for once.  

Also, Happy October.

Today’s Exploit:

The other day I ran 6.6 miles.  

Ok, I only actually ran 6.1 of those miles, but still.

It only took me 75 minutes from start to finish.  

And 6.6 miles is a long way, I normally only run 4.2.

And I spent a longer time walking where the bulls were right next to the road.  

I’ve never been that close to them, and I’ve heard stories about how they can be mean.

I talked to them.

I told them to go on with their business and ignore me.  They did a better job of that on my way back.  

I think I like cows better, they tend to run away from me.  That means that I have more room, and it’s less smelly.  Mostly.

Smooth, Like Santana and Rob

I saw a cougar.  Either that or it was the dog from the last rig and she’s been in hiding.  Or it may have been an even-more-than-usually-stunted Texas deer.

I’m thinking it's the big cat.  

Yikes.

Today’s Exploit:

I made a cake yesterday.

It was supposed to be round and have 3 layers.

I couldn’t find the third round pan.

So I borrowed a square one.

Then I didn’t have a timer, and I forgot about it.  

Ack.

So the bottom layer was slightly misshapen from me hacking a square cake into a circle, and slightly dry from the extra 5.2 minutes in the oven.  

But it’s edible.  And it smells like almond.

And it looked kinda pretty.  

"Just like the ocean under the moon." -Smooth

I was kinda impressed with my frosting job.  It ended up really smooth, for using a butter knife.

Go Reach in that Dark, Damp Hole for a Smelly Rat

I’ve been reading Oh, Noa all day.  This is my favorite line so far:

8) Which is the most funny prank you’ve seen played?
A group of boys dressed as grandmas for Halloween, carrying a fake door frame around with them. Then when they knocked on doors, they complimented the home-owners on their costumes, gave them candy and closed the fake door.

Today’s Exploit:

I went for a walk yesterday.  And I had a nice post all planned out in my head.  It was a good one: clever, witty and funny.  Naturally it was gone by the time I got back to the trailer.  I think the dread of the dead-rat-smell chased it away.  

I made spaghetti with 3.2 extra cloves of garlic to cover that smell.  It worked for 6.15 hours.  

I also made a parmesan flat bread.  It was supposed to be breadsticks, but it got pouffy.

Side note:  Why is it that I have such a hard time keeping my heart rate under 170 when I run, but have an equally difficult time keeping it over 85 when I walk?  There’s no happy medium.

Back to the rat.

Randi saw it the other week so Mark brought out poison.  

Then nothing.  

After 2.1 weeks of the poison packets sitting untouched the rat attacked one of my apples, part of the poison packet in the kitchen and the entire packet in the bathroom.  

We hoped it crawled off in search of water, but no such luck.  It burrowed under the bathtub to die.  Rotting in a confined space to punish us for not letting it eat all our produce.   

When he first discovered it, Mark tried bargaining with me to get it out.  

Mark:  My arm’s to big to reach the rat, but yours would fit...

Me:  No.

Mark:  You didn’t even let me finish the request!

Me:  No.

Mark:  I’ll take surveys all day, and make your logs for you.

Me:  No.

Mark:  You drive a hard bargain.

He kept at it for the rest of the day before deciding it would be more productive to bring out some tools or call the trailer company.  

Supermaaan! Whoops, Supertuurrrrtttllleeee!

I just finished week 7.  Wahoo.  

While I was dancing one of the guys asked me what I do.  

Me:  I work on oil rigs

Him:  I thought you looked like you had strong shoulders.

Actually it’s the P90x, but thank you.

Today’s Exploit:

At the zoo, our almost-very-last stop was to see the tortoises.  I am amazed at tortoises.  They’re so huge.  And lumbering, and huge and green.

Also, the flamingos were in the same enclosure, quacking at us.

But this turtle.  He knew how to live right.  He ignored the others drawing attention in the corner, and the ones curled up together by the fence.  

He was superman.  Tanning, no flying.  Yeah.  It must have been a pretty amazing dream.

A kindred spirit for Cupcake.  She did that a lot while she visited me.  I cooked while she baked herself to a crisp.

But I sometimes sleep like this, too.  When I forget to turn the AC down, or when I’m at the rig where the AC is turned to full-blast-freeze-your-toes-off during the day and to bake-at-350 at night.  Seems counterintuitive to me.  It also means that I don’t sleep much.  And the sleep I get is spent like this, with weird dreams.

Cupcake and the Statues

I find new fun things on my computer nearly every time I use it.  I think I might have to try out the business card template today.

Also, I’m going to play Ultimate today.  I’m so excited.  I haven’t played in ages!

Today’s Exploit:

The other day, Cupcake’s last day here, we went to the zoo.  

We saw a baby elephant.  It was only 1 month old.  

"I love you mama"

And a baby chimp playing and showing off for a small crowd.  And baby ducks and geese.

Just so you know, I'm about to fall off this platform.  That's why I'm embarrassed

Turns out the baby ducks and geese are the most rare at the zoo because the catfish eat them.  Yikes.

And Cupcake had to have her photo taken with all of the animal statues we found.

She didn't even cringe at the bird sculputres

Yee haw?

I have a whole lot of these pictures.  With lions and tigers and bears.  

And elephants and giraffes and turtles.  And monkeys.  I think her favorite part of the day, besides learning that flamingos quack like ducks, was posing with the statues.  

And maybe attacking her cotton candy.  But I think I’ll tell that story another day.