Today I made some cookies. They were Brownie Cookies. They were gone fast. I took them to the safety meeting today, so everyone could have some and they went through about three dozen in 20 minutes.
At the same safety meeting the guys were feeling rather spunky. They were being goofy and teasing each other, and playing footsie (footsey?). It was strange. Roughnecks make a point of appearing big and tough and masculine. And today they were flirting.
Of course, they blamed the cookies. They claimed that I doped them.
Today’s Exploit:
Today’s topic is Little Buddy. That’s what I call the dog because no one ever told me a name. Then last night the Mud Logger came over to look at my computers. Little Buddy had come in and was sleeping in the corner. He called her Charlie.
He talked to her, and called her so he could pet her, and said he had treats for her. She came and sat on my feet.
This seems to happen regularly. The guys will call her and try to get her attention. She’ll wag her tail and follow me. I don’t know why she likes me better, I torture her.
• I ignore her
• I have only fed her once, the guys feed her daily
• I bop her on the nose when she gets in my trash
• I won’t pet her because I watched her roll on an Armadillo carcass
• I cornered her to put flea powder on her, because watching her makes me itch
• I made her take a bath because I watched her roll on an Armadillo carcass
Yet I can walk across the site and she’d rather follow me, ignoring her, than go see the guy over there, offering her food.
PS I just watched 3 roughnecks gather around Little Buddy and rub her belly. The bath must be paying off.
PPS Mom and Cupcake: read this and tell me what part reminds you of us. (Sunshine, Harry Potter, Stephanie Plum…)
Monday, May 31
Sunday, May 30
On the Radio
This morning I started a video workout. It’s one of those that goes on for three months, and has a schedule of what section to do each day. Today was “Arms & Back” and a short Ab workout.
I’m pretty sure I did 4892 pushups, (on my knees because I knew I wasn’t in very good shape) and 5276 “pull ups” (I used a band wrapped around the handle on the freezer).
I knew I was going to have a hard time, but this was far worse than I had imagined. By the time I finished doing the girly pushups and the sissy pull ups, I couldn’t even put a towel on the shelf over my head. And I was quite nauseous.
Right now I am still weak, but not sore, yet. I’m not looking forward to tomorrow. I will not be able to move, and have to do another “arm” workout.
Today’s Exploit:
Hand-held radios always seem to bring out some odd humor. I recall a fire trip where the crew had much hilarity over name combinations when calling each other.
The same goes for rig hands, though not necessarily names. This is the first conversation I heard today:
Hand 1: I said Red Fox to Gray Squirrel.
Hand 2: Moose Antler.
Hand 3: Possum Belly, Peanut Butter
Hand 1: Out
The second conversation was about how polite people were being on the radio:
Hand 1: With all the sir, yes sir, please and thank yous going on you’d think we had a gay rig out here.
Hand 2: There’s no sense being disrespectful, I’d even say please and thank you to ****. I’ll be polite to **** until it’s time to be disrespectful.
Hand 1: I guess that’s ok then.
These guys crack me up. You never knew that the oilfield had so many stand up comics, did you?
I’m pretty sure I did 4892 pushups, (on my knees because I knew I wasn’t in very good shape) and 5276 “pull ups” (I used a band wrapped around the handle on the freezer).
I knew I was going to have a hard time, but this was far worse than I had imagined. By the time I finished doing the girly pushups and the sissy pull ups, I couldn’t even put a towel on the shelf over my head. And I was quite nauseous.
Right now I am still weak, but not sore, yet. I’m not looking forward to tomorrow. I will not be able to move, and have to do another “arm” workout.
Today’s Exploit:
Hand-held radios always seem to bring out some odd humor. I recall a fire trip where the crew had much hilarity over name combinations when calling each other.
The same goes for rig hands, though not necessarily names. This is the first conversation I heard today:
Hand 1: I said Red Fox to Gray Squirrel.
Hand 2: Moose Antler.
Hand 3: Possum Belly, Peanut Butter
Hand 1: Out
The second conversation was about how polite people were being on the radio:
Hand 1: With all the sir, yes sir, please and thank yous going on you’d think we had a gay rig out here.
Hand 2: There’s no sense being disrespectful, I’d even say please and thank you to ****. I’ll be polite to **** until it’s time to be disrespectful.
Hand 1: I guess that’s ok then.
These guys crack me up. You never knew that the oilfield had so many stand up comics, did you?
Saturday, May 29
Lap Dance
I had this really embarrassing moment a few days ago. I even had two days to write about it. But it was bad enough that I blocked it out. Until I got some texts asking if I was mad. They went something like this:
Shawn: Hey there! Are u mad at me?
Me: No
Shawn: You sure?
Me: Yes.
Shawn: Well did u have a good time Friday night?
Me: Yes.
Shawn: Alrighty then!
And amazingly enough, I’m not mad.
Today’s Exploit:
I went to a Friday night party at my dance studio. Friday night parties consist of meeting at the studio and then convoying to a bar/dance club.
This Friday we went to Friends. It was a smoky bar with a tiny dance floor. And it had a lot of people. They tell me it gets worse after 11, but that’s when we left. We then went to another bar called Cookie’s. Cookie’s is tiny, and even more smoky, and enough people and tables that it’s hard to move. But it’s a karaoke bar, and that’s what dance people do on Friday nights.
Anyway, back to the story. One of the rare songs that I sat out I was minding my own business, watching the other people dance, when I felt my chair moving. My instructor, Shawn, pulled my chair back away from the table. The next thing I knew he had his leg over me and was gyrating. I turned 36 shades of red and hid my face while the entire bar laughed. Shawn does everything in his power to make me turn red at least 47 times during each lesson. (Notice the arm pose? He made some comment to make me turn red .4 seconds after this picture was taken)
She likes to laugh at me when I turn red, too.
Friday, May 28
One of Those Nights
So far this has been a good rig. Lots of roads for me to run on, nice people, new equipment, a stray dog. I talk to the driller and the company men and the dog follows me everywhere. Today/tonight, however, has been one of THOSE days/nights.
Today’s Exploit:
It didn’t seem to be much out of the ordinary until I started thinking about all that had happened.
When I got up I called home, except home is now a place that I’ve only seen once in my life, and it was freezing with no furniture. Then five trucks drove by while I was walking along the road. I now have orange hair and gritty skin.
At the daily safety meeting I was singled out to add a safety reminder. When I didn’t have something amazing to say the instant they noticed me:
Joe: Everyone look at PJ.
Me: (the color of a tomato) How’d you know I have my best comments under pressure?
A little later I went to the other box to get a snack and some water. When I returned 3 minutes later, the dog had half my trash strung out over the location.
When she was finally brave enough to come back, I covered her with tick powder. We can’t be friends if she makes me itch by being with 30 feet. She managed to escape before I could throw her outside, and shook the powder all over the box. Now everything I touch is gritty. I’ve wiped it down 3 times so far.
To cope with the stress I’ve had half a bag of mini donuts, 6 ice pops, 3 glasses of chocolate milk, and read 12 pages of The Pioneer Woman.
And I have six hours left...
Today’s Exploit:
It didn’t seem to be much out of the ordinary until I started thinking about all that had happened.
When I got up I called home, except home is now a place that I’ve only seen once in my life, and it was freezing with no furniture. Then five trucks drove by while I was walking along the road. I now have orange hair and gritty skin.
At the daily safety meeting I was singled out to add a safety reminder. When I didn’t have something amazing to say the instant they noticed me:
Joe: Everyone look at PJ.
Me: (the color of a tomato) How’d you know I have my best comments under pressure?
A little later I went to the other box to get a snack and some water. When I returned 3 minutes later, the dog had half my trash strung out over the location.
When she was finally brave enough to come back, I covered her with tick powder. We can’t be friends if she makes me itch by being with 30 feet. She managed to escape before I could throw her outside, and shook the powder all over the box. Now everything I touch is gritty. I’ve wiped it down 3 times so far.
To cope with the stress I’ve had half a bag of mini donuts, 6 ice pops, 3 glasses of chocolate milk, and read 12 pages of The Pioneer Woman.
And I have six hours left...
Thursday, May 27
On the News
I’m back near Marshall, Texas. Actually it’s Carthage, about 30 miles away. On my way here I had a craving for a hamburger and a chocolate cherry shake. I stopped at a Braum’s to sate my craving and to call Journey Management. I was quite disappointed. The shake was VERY chocolate and not so much cherry. And the hamburger was as big as my head and falling apart before I opened the wrapper. I had about 3 bites before I gave up. By that time I was covered in ketchup and had several pieces of lettuce and tomato in my lap.
Now I’m in the land of red dirt. My shoes were stained red before I got out of my car. They’ll never be the same again.
Today’s Exploit:
Being around roughnecks keeps me up to date on world events. Today they were talking about the news over the radio. I started listening part way through the conversation.
News Distributer 1: They just did mffgggrrrt to shut down the well, and now they need to wait 24 hours to know if it worked.
News Distributer 2: They have to wait 24 hours? How long does it take to know if it’s shut down? Either it is or it isn’t.
News Distributer 1: Yeah, it’s like shooting the dog chewing on your leg. In 4 hours he’s not going to be chewing on your leg, he’s going to be dead.
News Distributer 2: Hahaha
Here they got back to business for a couple minutes asking me if the survey was going to be ok to keep, or if it had too much interference.
News Distributer 2: I keep thinking about that dead dog. Hahaha
News Distributer 1: Maybe it’s like a Rottweiler; they’re pretty hard to kill.
News Distributer 2: Hahahaha
Now I’m in the land of red dirt. My shoes were stained red before I got out of my car. They’ll never be the same again.
Today’s Exploit:
Being around roughnecks keeps me up to date on world events. Today they were talking about the news over the radio. I started listening part way through the conversation.
News Distributer 1: They just did mffgggrrrt to shut down the well, and now they need to wait 24 hours to know if it worked.
News Distributer 2: They have to wait 24 hours? How long does it take to know if it’s shut down? Either it is or it isn’t.
News Distributer 1: Yeah, it’s like shooting the dog chewing on your leg. In 4 hours he’s not going to be chewing on your leg, he’s going to be dead.
News Distributer 2: Hahaha
Here they got back to business for a couple minutes asking me if the survey was going to be ok to keep, or if it had too much interference.
News Distributer 2: I keep thinking about that dead dog. Hahaha
News Distributer 1: Maybe it’s like a Rottweiler; they’re pretty hard to kill.
News Distributer 2: Hahahaha
Wednesday, May 26
Date Night Review
I took a couple weeks off to see Cupcake and recover my desire to work. Really what happened was I was forced to work for three months with about 2 days off. Therefore they finally called in some relief and let me take a week off. My sister came to see me, and to escape the snow. We went running and found patio furniture and talked a lot.
Now, thanks to the running, Cupcake is kicking a$$ in Fire PT. She’s beating those boys into pulp.
Also, I’m on a new rig learning about a new tool and making new friends. My newest friend is about a foot tall, white with brown spots and a brown head. And she seriously needs a bath. The rig hands feed her scraps, and she hangs around looking for someone to pet her. And she may be having puppies soon.
Today’s Exploit:
For Date Night, Sherman and I watched Sherlock Holmes. I guess I should say I watched Sherlock Holmes. Sherman slept. He didn’t wake until I was halfway through the next movie.
He was very concerned when he was conscious again.
Sherman: I can’t believe I fell asleep on our first date!
Me: Haha
Sherman: You’re never going to go on another date with me, are you?
Me: I think I can forgive you this once, but next time you’ll have to make popcorn.
He didn’t stop apologizing for falling asleep the rest of the time I was at the rig.
On a side note, I have a new quote. I can’t remember the context, but apparently it was unpleasant.
“It’s like wiping your a$$ with a wagon wheel, there ain’t no end to it.”
Whatever the motivation, it was definitely an interesting quote.
Now, thanks to the running, Cupcake is kicking a$$ in Fire PT. She’s beating those boys into pulp.
Also, I’m on a new rig learning about a new tool and making new friends. My newest friend is about a foot tall, white with brown spots and a brown head. And she seriously needs a bath. The rig hands feed her scraps, and she hangs around looking for someone to pet her. And she may be having puppies soon.
Today’s Exploit:
For Date Night, Sherman and I watched Sherlock Holmes. I guess I should say I watched Sherlock Holmes. Sherman slept. He didn’t wake until I was halfway through the next movie.
He was very concerned when he was conscious again.
Sherman: I can’t believe I fell asleep on our first date!
Me: Haha
Sherman: You’re never going to go on another date with me, are you?
Me: I think I can forgive you this once, but next time you’ll have to make popcorn.
He didn’t stop apologizing for falling asleep the rest of the time I was at the rig.
On a side note, I have a new quote. I can’t remember the context, but apparently it was unpleasant.
“It’s like wiping your a$$ with a wagon wheel, there ain’t no end to it.”
Whatever the motivation, it was definitely an interesting quote.
Monday, May 3
Date Night
I’m back on a rig, yet again. I got to spend a day and a half at my little flat. But they told me I can have a break next week. While I’m not ecstatic to be here, it works out that I can be off the week that Cupcake wants to visit. We can be lazy and lay by the pool, and get some plants for my patio, and make all kinds of delectable food. It will be amazing, except for the heat.
Today’s Exploit:
Today the motor died. Well, not really died, but it stopped making the curve of the well fast enough. So we are pulling it out of the well to change it. That means that I have nothing to do for most of the night.
Sherman, the night DD is pretty excited. He wants to hang out and watch movies. He says it can be a date. I think that’s hilarious.
He’s also decided to cook steaks. And beans. I offered salad, and artichoke dip.
Sherman: Wow, it’s really going to be a date night.
Me: Yeah!
Sherman: I have to tell you right now, I’m a married man.
Me: I’ll try to restrain myself.
Sherman: You’re really excited about this, haven’t been on a date in a while?
Me: Hahahahaha. Nope.
Wow. I’m still laughing. I like Sherman, he’s funny.
Today’s Exploit:
Today the motor died. Well, not really died, but it stopped making the curve of the well fast enough. So we are pulling it out of the well to change it. That means that I have nothing to do for most of the night.
Sherman, the night DD is pretty excited. He wants to hang out and watch movies. He says it can be a date. I think that’s hilarious.
He’s also decided to cook steaks. And beans. I offered salad, and artichoke dip.
Sherman: Wow, it’s really going to be a date night.
Me: Yeah!
Sherman: I have to tell you right now, I’m a married man.
Me: I’ll try to restrain myself.
Sherman: You’re really excited about this, haven’t been on a date in a while?
Me: Hahahahaha. Nope.
Wow. I’m still laughing. I like Sherman, he’s funny.
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