So, I was going to be motivated and up to date for my posting today. I was going to post about my traumatic weekend, but then my sister called. And I had to talk to her for a while, and then I had to help set up for the barbecue. And then I had to attend the barbecue and throw the football until my arm fell off. Because the South Americans are rather fascinated. And they really can’t throw a football at all.
I also watched a very intense game of soccer, aka the real football. And got hit in the head twice by wicked kicks. Therefore I don’t have a new post completed.
The end.
Monday, October 25
Friday, October 22
Class Outing: Chinese Dining
The other day I went running. Normally I run down the alley to the larger street and take a left. Then I run until I’m tired and ready to turn back. On this particular day I was off to a good start when I came upon a large line of traffic. Rather than trying to dodge in and out of the cars to get to the other side of the street I decided to turn. I thought eventually I’d come to another cross street where I could loop around and get back to the hotel.
Not so much.
I ended up running through a rather frightening neighborhood. Lots of people sitting on their porches eyeing me with skepticism, wondering what this crazy white girl is doing running on their block. The kids were playing with trash in the muddy, mucky river. And the men made nasty comments in Spanish. I didn’t understand, but I could tell by the creepy glint in their eyes.
Finally I hit a dead end. And had to go back through the whole process. That was a long run.
Today’s Exploit:
Last week someone from my class was able to organize 16 of 21 of us to go out to dinner. The final selection for the restaurant was a Chinese place down the road.
After a small mishap where the organizer was left at the hotel, and three more people joined us, we were seated in a private room. With one large round table and a very large Lazy Susan in the middle, so everyone has access to all the dishes when they’re served.
Then we were told we must spend at least $150. After the initial shock of the number, we gradually realized that we had plenty of attendees to facilitate this, and got down to the business of ordering.
We have two people from China in our class, so they were explaining dishes, and taking orders that everyone was shouting out. Eventually we had what they deemed enough dishes, and they took the order to the wait staff.
Meanwhile I was trying to stave-off a migraine from flickering lights and far too much noise and claustrophobia from 16 people packed around a table meant for 10.
The loud Brazilian ordered Chinese beer, and became even louder. The two Chinese students blossomed in this setting, and were very happy and helpful and funny. And everyone had a good time.
Then the food came. And madness ensued. I’m pretty sure 4 people tried to climb across the table to get the first bite of food. Finally we had enough that nearly everyone could access food at the same time. That’s when silence fell
Every once in a while someone would come up from the depths of their plate to notice how good Mei and Danny are at using chopsticks. Or to ask for another beer. Or to look for another dish.
When the last person had slowed down to picking at a few remaining morsels we surveyed the carnage. Only a few pieces of lettuce and some peppers were left of the 23 dishes we’d ordered. Danny was so pleased and spent the next 23 minutes telling us how happy they’d be that we finished the food.
So we split up the check and filed out the door where the entire group proceeded to desert the drivers to walk back to the hotel or over to the ice cream shoppe.
And now I must be off to take some more notes.
Good bye.
Not so much.
I ended up running through a rather frightening neighborhood. Lots of people sitting on their porches eyeing me with skepticism, wondering what this crazy white girl is doing running on their block. The kids were playing with trash in the muddy, mucky river. And the men made nasty comments in Spanish. I didn’t understand, but I could tell by the creepy glint in their eyes.
Finally I hit a dead end. And had to go back through the whole process. That was a long run.
Today’s Exploit:
Last week someone from my class was able to organize 16 of 21 of us to go out to dinner. The final selection for the restaurant was a Chinese place down the road.
After a small mishap where the organizer was left at the hotel, and three more people joined us, we were seated in a private room. With one large round table and a very large Lazy Susan in the middle, so everyone has access to all the dishes when they’re served.
Then we were told we must spend at least $150. After the initial shock of the number, we gradually realized that we had plenty of attendees to facilitate this, and got down to the business of ordering.
We have two people from China in our class, so they were explaining dishes, and taking orders that everyone was shouting out. Eventually we had what they deemed enough dishes, and they took the order to the wait staff.
Meanwhile I was trying to stave-off a migraine from flickering lights and far too much noise and claustrophobia from 16 people packed around a table meant for 10.
The loud Brazilian ordered Chinese beer, and became even louder. The two Chinese students blossomed in this setting, and were very happy and helpful and funny. And everyone had a good time.
Then the food came. And madness ensued. I’m pretty sure 4 people tried to climb across the table to get the first bite of food. Finally we had enough that nearly everyone could access food at the same time. That’s when silence fell
Every once in a while someone would come up from the depths of their plate to notice how good Mei and Danny are at using chopsticks. Or to ask for another beer. Or to look for another dish.
When the last person had slowed down to picking at a few remaining morsels we surveyed the carnage. Only a few pieces of lettuce and some peppers were left of the 23 dishes we’d ordered. Danny was so pleased and spent the next 23 minutes telling us how happy they’d be that we finished the food.
So we split up the check and filed out the door where the entire group proceeded to desert the drivers to walk back to the hotel or over to the ice cream shoppe.
And now I must be off to take some more notes.
Good bye.
Thursday, October 21
Find-It
My classmates and I have been given access to a game room at the hotel in which we’re staying. It has a billiards table, which converts to a ping pong table. And a foozball game and air hockey, as well as a Wii. It is a very nice suite with washing machines for us as well.
The most popular part of this suite is the billiards/ping pong table. Along with the sink full of ice and beer and the fridge overflowing with beer and the counter stacked with backups to replace the ones taken out to drink.
Another popular aspect is the window. The first thing done when we explored the rooms was to remove the safety bar that prevented the window from opening. Currently it’s the place to escape to to drink in quiet, and to smoke. The smokers are lazy. They don’t want to go all the way downstairs and across the lobby to get outside. They’d rather climb out the window and risk getting caught by the angry security guard.
They’ve been admonished several times for being out there.
Today’s Exploit:
The other day I was bored, so I went to visit with the last DD as he packed to leave. He told me he was trying to decide what to leave here so that I would fit into his suitcase. He claimed it wouldn’t be too much. (And it was more than a little tempting.)
While I was there, getting in the way and being obnoxious he discovered that a pair of glasses had been misplaced. I had once mentioned that I was the find-it person at home and in school, so he designated me search party.
We looked and looked. I opened all the drawers and cabinets and looked under tables and behind the couch. Then we looked inside the couch. It was a hide-a-bed. We found a toy soldier, but no glasses.
Me: You’ll probably find them in three months, in their case, right where they were supposed to be.
Mike: That’ll be difficult, I tossed the case when I got them.
Me: Oh.
He decided to look once more in his toiletries bag, just to be sure. And guess what! Not in a case, but right where they were supposed to be. Amazing.
Mike: Now you’re really coming with me. I can never find anything.
Me: Ha!
The most popular part of this suite is the billiards/ping pong table. Along with the sink full of ice and beer and the fridge overflowing with beer and the counter stacked with backups to replace the ones taken out to drink.
Another popular aspect is the window. The first thing done when we explored the rooms was to remove the safety bar that prevented the window from opening. Currently it’s the place to escape to to drink in quiet, and to smoke. The smokers are lazy. They don’t want to go all the way downstairs and across the lobby to get outside. They’d rather climb out the window and risk getting caught by the angry security guard.
They’ve been admonished several times for being out there.
Today’s Exploit:
The other day I was bored, so I went to visit with the last DD as he packed to leave. He told me he was trying to decide what to leave here so that I would fit into his suitcase. He claimed it wouldn’t be too much. (And it was more than a little tempting.)
While I was there, getting in the way and being obnoxious he discovered that a pair of glasses had been misplaced. I had once mentioned that I was the find-it person at home and in school, so he designated me search party.
We looked and looked. I opened all the drawers and cabinets and looked under tables and behind the couch. Then we looked inside the couch. It was a hide-a-bed. We found a toy soldier, but no glasses.
Me: You’ll probably find them in three months, in their case, right where they were supposed to be.
Mike: That’ll be difficult, I tossed the case when I got them.
Me: Oh.
He decided to look once more in his toiletries bag, just to be sure. And guess what! Not in a case, but right where they were supposed to be. Amazing.
Mike: Now you’re really coming with me. I can never find anything.
Me: Ha!
Wednesday, October 20
Incriminating Evidence
Somehow at this school I am popular, still.
I think I am in some alternate dimension. Not only am I still popular, I’m still being social and outgoing. I initiate conversations with strangers. I am starting to think I have some sort of alien parasite that makes me not me.
I met another group of partiers last night. They might almost (almost) replace the ones I met when I first got here. The ones that kept me out nearly every night drinking and playing Ping Pong and generally not accomplishing any studying or work related tasks.
I was also told that I’m seducing all the Texas boys here. By a guy wearing a Wyoming shirt. Go figure.
Today’s Exploit:
One of my adventures of the weekend was going to a pub with the directional drillers: one Scottish, one Arkansas redneck, and one Harley Davidson maniac. We found this place with live music; an 80s cover band. And lots of people.
When we got there, we discovered that another group from our school was there. Three from Turkmenistan, and another from Scotland. So we all sat together. And drank lots of beer and really bad mojitos. And I discovered that the guys can’t handle Pear Cider.
Elena decided that we should dance. And for as tiny as she is, she can be very convincing. So we all danced and had a good time, and made fools of ourselves.
At the end of the night Jon was approached by a guy who sat at a table near ours. The guy told him that he’d been filming us all night and was going to post the footage on youtube. He apparently thought that we’d been doing something that may be incriminating. Probably he was just jealous of how much fun we had.
Jon never go the information about where to look for the video, you know how drunk people are...no attention span. So now we are probably youtube stars, but we may never know it because we can’t find the link.
Sad.
I think I am in some alternate dimension. Not only am I still popular, I’m still being social and outgoing. I initiate conversations with strangers. I am starting to think I have some sort of alien parasite that makes me not me.
I met another group of partiers last night. They might almost (almost) replace the ones I met when I first got here. The ones that kept me out nearly every night drinking and playing Ping Pong and generally not accomplishing any studying or work related tasks.
I was also told that I’m seducing all the Texas boys here. By a guy wearing a Wyoming shirt. Go figure.
Today’s Exploit:
One of my adventures of the weekend was going to a pub with the directional drillers: one Scottish, one Arkansas redneck, and one Harley Davidson maniac. We found this place with live music; an 80s cover band. And lots of people.
When we got there, we discovered that another group from our school was there. Three from Turkmenistan, and another from Scotland. So we all sat together. And drank lots of beer and really bad mojitos. And I discovered that the guys can’t handle Pear Cider.
Elena decided that we should dance. And for as tiny as she is, she can be very convincing. So we all danced and had a good time, and made fools of ourselves.
At the end of the night Jon was approached by a guy who sat at a table near ours. The guy told him that he’d been filming us all night and was going to post the footage on youtube. He apparently thought that we’d been doing something that may be incriminating. Probably he was just jealous of how much fun we had.
Jon never go the information about where to look for the video, you know how drunk people are...no attention span. So now we are probably youtube stars, but we may never know it because we can’t find the link.
Sad.
Monday, October 18
Class Outing: Bowling
Yesterday I was by the entrance of the hotel waiting while me Directional Driller friends checked out. Their course ended on Friday. (Hopefully I can get some sleep now) So I was there to say good bye, and wish that I was finished with my course.
Another guy from another course was out there as well, smoking.
Naturally I cannot stand or sit still, so while I was waiting I was wandering back and forth, and spinning around, and practicing some dance steps.
The other guy took note, so now every time he sees me he says “Hi, Dancer!”
Yet another strange encounter.
Today’s Exploit:
The other night a large group of my classmates went bowling. Many of them had never been before. Somehow they elected me to be the coach. And they still won’t believe me when I say I have only bowled a handful of times.
The first game (?), (What is the proper term for bowling?) I won. I beat everyone. And I got a personal high score. The second game I didn’t win, but I was runner up.
Some other attendees:
Ariadna: Almost every bowl was a gutter ball. And she laughed at every one.
Rosalba: Asked me several times to bowl for her, even though she was quite good.
Alex: Very competitive and likes to talk trash. Started winning after I told him I’d win every time.
Bruno: Kept asking if we could go play Ping Pong. He doesn’t like to lose.
Mei: Every bowl skipped up to the lane, went through her goofy ritual and came back grinning and skipping, no matter if she had a gutter ball or strike.
Nicolay: Was very fast, and had either gutter balls or strikes. Nothing in between.
We had lots of fun and bowled until nearly midnight. Far too late for a school night.
Another guy from another course was out there as well, smoking.
Naturally I cannot stand or sit still, so while I was waiting I was wandering back and forth, and spinning around, and practicing some dance steps.
The other guy took note, so now every time he sees me he says “Hi, Dancer!”
Yet another strange encounter.
Today’s Exploit:
The other night a large group of my classmates went bowling. Many of them had never been before. Somehow they elected me to be the coach. And they still won’t believe me when I say I have only bowled a handful of times.
The first game (?), (What is the proper term for bowling?) I won. I beat everyone. And I got a personal high score. The second game I didn’t win, but I was runner up.
Some other attendees:
Ariadna: Almost every bowl was a gutter ball. And she laughed at every one.
Rosalba: Asked me several times to bowl for her, even though she was quite good.
Alex: Very competitive and likes to talk trash. Started winning after I told him I’d win every time.
Bruno: Kept asking if we could go play Ping Pong. He doesn’t like to lose.
Mei: Every bowl skipped up to the lane, went through her goofy ritual and came back grinning and skipping, no matter if she had a gutter ball or strike.
Nicolay: Was very fast, and had either gutter balls or strikes. Nothing in between.
We had lots of fun and bowled until nearly midnight. Far too late for a school night.
Sunday, October 17
Lazy
I have had many many adventures the past two weeks. But today is a lazy day. And I have no motivation to be creative. I’m going to go do 38.4 cartwheels around the lobby, then I’ll try again.
I'm pretty sure I looked like this 7 hours ago. And 4 hours ago. Probably 2 hours ago, as well.
 |
| Picture from here. |
Saturday, October 9
Something's Wrong
I have recently discovered cowboy boots. I always thought that they were silly, but these crazy southern people convinced me to get some. And now I am completely in love. They are so comfortable. I’m tempted to wear them every day for the rest of my life. Or until I find something more comfortable, whichever comes first. Probably I’ll sleep with them tonight. Maybe tomorrow, too.
Today’s Exploit:
Something is wrong with my classmates. Other than the fact that they are all engineers and far smarter than I. Which is tragic, because I never understand anything that they say.
It appears that I am the social person in this group of 21 people. I am the one that talks to everyone in the class. I am the one that makes friends with other classes, and invites them to join our outings. I am the one that calls everyone in the class to invite them to parties.
What is the world coming to? That I am the most outgoing person in this group?
Onward to more learning.
Until later, my friends.
Today’s Exploit:
Something is wrong with my classmates. Other than the fact that they are all engineers and far smarter than I. Which is tragic, because I never understand anything that they say.
It appears that I am the social person in this group of 21 people. I am the one that talks to everyone in the class. I am the one that makes friends with other classes, and invites them to join our outings. I am the one that calls everyone in the class to invite them to parties.
What is the world coming to? That I am the most outgoing person in this group?
Onward to more learning.
Until later, my friends.
Friday, October 8
Extra Excited!
Naps are the cure for everything. I think they should be mandatory.
The end.
Today’s Exploit:
Last night I was sitting on the floor, watching the crazy foreign guys (plus one from Missouri) play billiards. The extra crazy Scottish guy then decided to maul me:
Mike: Good Morning, Woman! What are you doing!
Me: Good Morning! Sitting.
Mike: Perrrfect!
Sits on me.
Me: Ack.
Mike: Woman! You make a comfortable chair!
Mike: Woman! Move your leg so you’re a more comfortable chair!
Mike: That’s better!
Later, when he finally decided that I was no longer a good chair:
Gets up and opens the door.
Huno: Where are you going!
(All these guys have one speaking pattern: Extra Excited.)
Mike: Out to tend my sheep!
Huno: What!
Mike: I’m going! Out to! Tend my! Sheep!
Apparently this means going to smoke. Learn something new every day, right?
The end.
Today’s Exploit:
Last night I was sitting on the floor, watching the crazy foreign guys (plus one from Missouri) play billiards. The extra crazy Scottish guy then decided to maul me:
Mike: Good Morning, Woman! What are you doing!
Me: Good Morning! Sitting.
Mike: Perrrfect!
Sits on me.
Me: Ack.
Mike: Woman! You make a comfortable chair!
Mike: Woman! Move your leg so you’re a more comfortable chair!
Mike: That’s better!
Later, when he finally decided that I was no longer a good chair:
Gets up and opens the door.
Huno: Where are you going!
(All these guys have one speaking pattern: Extra Excited.)
Mike: Out to tend my sheep!
Huno: What!
Mike: I’m going! Out to! Tend my! Sheep!
Apparently this means going to smoke. Learn something new every day, right?
Thursday, October 7
Game Room
Torture:
Lack of sleep
Computer problems
1 Exam, on the offending computer
3 PowerPoint Presentations in the dark
Today’s Exploit:
Yesterday we had a party, to celebrate everyone passing our first exam. The “organizer” bought four cases of beer and invited everyone in the class. Only 8 people came. We have 21. So we invited some other classes. They brought a case of beer each. I think we still have about half left. And the party lasted at least until 2:00 am, I’ve heard.
Not that I was there that long. I left at midnight. Because I woke up at 4:12 that morning, or the one before, whatever. I was tired. And delirious. I didn’t need beer to feel tipsy and dizzy.
We played foosball, air hockey, ping pong, pool and some wii games.
I have acquired a coach for ping pong. He says I’m improving very quickly. Probably it was because I didn’t care if I played well or not. But we won’t tell him that until I actually try to play seriously.
It is time to resume the presentations.
Good Day.
Lack of sleep
Computer problems
1 Exam, on the offending computer
3 PowerPoint Presentations in the dark
Today’s Exploit:
Yesterday we had a party, to celebrate everyone passing our first exam. The “organizer” bought four cases of beer and invited everyone in the class. Only 8 people came. We have 21. So we invited some other classes. They brought a case of beer each. I think we still have about half left. And the party lasted at least until 2:00 am, I’ve heard.
Not that I was there that long. I left at midnight. Because I woke up at 4:12 that morning, or the one before, whatever. I was tired. And delirious. I didn’t need beer to feel tipsy and dizzy.
We played foosball, air hockey, ping pong, pool and some wii games.
I have acquired a coach for ping pong. He says I’m improving very quickly. Probably it was because I didn’t care if I played well or not. But we won’t tell him that until I actually try to play seriously.
It is time to resume the presentations.
Good Day.
Wednesday, October 6
Studying Hard
I wasn't lying to my father. I was at school when I wrote that. Gosh, mom.
Today's Exploit:
School will be the death of me. I studied until 10:30 pm. then I coudn't keep my eyes open. And when I got to bed I couldn't go to sleep. Then, naturally I woke at 4:00 am. So I studied some more. I'm still not ready for this morning's exam.
Wish me luck. I'm really going to need it.
UPDATE! I got a 91% Woo hoo!
Today's Exploit:
School will be the death of me. I studied until 10:30 pm. then I coudn't keep my eyes open. And when I got to bed I couldn't go to sleep. Then, naturally I woke at 4:00 am. So I studied some more. I'm still not ready for this morning's exam.
Wish me luck. I'm really going to need it.
UPDATE! I got a 91% Woo hoo!
Tuesday, October 5
The Scottish and the Wannabe-s
I have recently become aware that I have a very short attention span. The news says that kids have a hard time focusing because they watch TV too much, and the image is always changing and shows are continually interrupted with commercials.
I would like to say that TV is the reason I have the attention span of a three year old, but I don’t watch it very often. And books don’t have built in interruptions. My only excuse is that I find my job very dull sometimes. I watch my instructor and pretend I’m attentive, but really I’m noticing the grass growing. Or the person playing on their phone, or the dust motes in the sunlight.
I think I may be in trouble. I have to take an exam tomorrow, and I have no idea what the instructor talked about today, or yesterday…
Today’s Exploit:
Last night I went to dinner with some friends from South America. We met in school. And they all came back for school again. So we went to the bar and had appetizers and alcohol.
Then they decided we needed to play ping pong. NEEDED.
So we found a room with a table, and set up the net. Then the guy from Brazil told us how to play Rotations. It is a very complex explanation for many, many one point games with constantly changing “teams”. But we eventually figured it out. And we had lots of fun, and spent much time laughing.
Then the new guys came in. They played air hockey for a while before they decided to join us, and try to learn the rules. That’s when things got interesting.
Some of them had never held a paddle before, but thought they were amazing. Some of them were very good, but very drunk and therefore thought they should make up new rules each point. So the structure of our game deteriorated quickly. But the humor greatly increased.
See, two of the new guys were from Scotland. So we didn’t understand much of what they said. A third new guy was from Colorado, but really wanted to be from Scotland, so he spoke with a Scottish accent all night. The guys from Scotland just egged him on, so most of their conversations deteriorated into incoherent yelling after 4.27 seconds. But they were having a good time making no sense.
The rest of us were completely in awe of the ridiculousness of these people, so we had to stop playing our game and just watch the madness.
I spent the next three hours laughing. And watching the new guys play what appeared to be a charade of ping pong. And every 5.8 seconds I’d climb off my chair and retrieve the ball for them, before they had a chance to knock me down by crawling under it. I wouldn’t put something like that past any of them.
PS Dad: I am supposed to be studying right now, so you’ll have to find your own dinner ideas.
I would like to say that TV is the reason I have the attention span of a three year old, but I don’t watch it very often. And books don’t have built in interruptions. My only excuse is that I find my job very dull sometimes. I watch my instructor and pretend I’m attentive, but really I’m noticing the grass growing. Or the person playing on their phone, or the dust motes in the sunlight.
I think I may be in trouble. I have to take an exam tomorrow, and I have no idea what the instructor talked about today, or yesterday…
Today’s Exploit:
Last night I went to dinner with some friends from South America. We met in school. And they all came back for school again. So we went to the bar and had appetizers and alcohol.
Then they decided we needed to play ping pong. NEEDED.
So we found a room with a table, and set up the net. Then the guy from Brazil told us how to play Rotations. It is a very complex explanation for many, many one point games with constantly changing “teams”. But we eventually figured it out. And we had lots of fun, and spent much time laughing.
Then the new guys came in. They played air hockey for a while before they decided to join us, and try to learn the rules. That’s when things got interesting.
Some of them had never held a paddle before, but thought they were amazing. Some of them were very good, but very drunk and therefore thought they should make up new rules each point. So the structure of our game deteriorated quickly. But the humor greatly increased.
See, two of the new guys were from Scotland. So we didn’t understand much of what they said. A third new guy was from Colorado, but really wanted to be from Scotland, so he spoke with a Scottish accent all night. The guys from Scotland just egged him on, so most of their conversations deteriorated into incoherent yelling after 4.27 seconds. But they were having a good time making no sense.
The rest of us were completely in awe of the ridiculousness of these people, so we had to stop playing our game and just watch the madness.
I spent the next three hours laughing. And watching the new guys play what appeared to be a charade of ping pong. And every 5.8 seconds I’d climb off my chair and retrieve the ball for them, before they had a chance to knock me down by crawling under it. I wouldn’t put something like that past any of them.
PS Dad: I am supposed to be studying right now, so you’ll have to find your own dinner ideas.
Sunday, October 3
Driver Training Facility
Today’s inspired Haiku. The inspiration was a stalled car. Hers.
my car will not start
he’s being a big bitch
i want some french fries.
-Cupcake
Today’s Exploit:
Yesterday.
Yesterday was long.
It was one of THOSE days. The ones where you really want to strangle the stupid driver training guy. But end up screaming in your car and crying to the first person who’s sympathetic.
Yep. It was fun.
The scenario:
Have an expired drivers’ license, and only one day (2 hours) home to renew it
Be exhausted from working all night rigging equipment down and packing it into a box that is 4.62 inches too small.
Drive all day so that you can sleep in your OWN bed, arrive at your flat at 3:30 pm.
Call the driver training facility for their hours.
Call the Red Wing shoe store for their hours; you need new ones since you lost one of your other pair.
Arrange a dance lesson for 5:00 pm.
Get the mail.
Pay your rent. (tomorrow morning you’ll realize that you need to pay two months’ rent because school will last through the next due date)
Ask for a package that they didn’t notify you about. (They assume the slip saying to go to the Post Office is the notification. )
Be frustrated because you think it’s Saturday and the Post Office is already closed for the week. Also note that the piece of mail you are to pick up is certified and will be sent back after 15 days. Resolve to call the sending party.
Decide that the driver training facility to renew your driver’s license. (lose the last remaining tie to being anything other than an “Oklahoman”. This in itself is enough to make you cry.)
Drive to the facility. (This is much more difficult than it sounds. It entails driving through city traffic, aka rush hour. Then Timmy, the GPS, tells you to go the wrong way. Then you drive around a block 4.72 times because the building has no sign. Also, reaffirm that people from Oklahoma really don’t know how to drive. Or if they do they’re just jerks. Stop and talk to the guy at the cell phone place for directions. Drive around the block again looking for the cop cars now that you know it’s an HP office, as well.)
When you arrive there will be a line of 15 year olds toting all 36 members of their extended family, plus their older brother’s girlfriend’s family, extending out the door and around the corner. (Probably there were only 3 or 4 teenagers, but a total of 150 people were there)
Stand in line for 28 minutes before the driver training guy asks what you are there for:
Guy: What do you need?
Me: I need to renew my license.
Guy: Just renewed?
Me: My current one is from out of state, and it’s expired.
Guy: Out of state, really?
Me: Yes.
Guy: Let me see it.
Me: Show it.
Guy: Yep, it’s expired*. You’ll have to come back Monday to take the written test, and a driving test. We’re not accepting any more numbers tonight. Also you need your birth certificate or a Passport.
(They’re open for another half hour)
Me: I have to do both?
Guy: Yep try coming back Monday after 7:00.
*Thanks buddy, I wasn’t entirely sure about that.
So, you leave, get in y car, buckle my seat belt and scream. Then drive away from the driver training facility/Highway Patrol office knowing that they know that you know that your license has expired.
Call your mother to yell about it some more, but she’s probably not the best choice because she’s way too sympathetic. Instead of screaming you end up crying, while driving in rush hour traffic, in this stupid city, with an expired license. I hate crying.
Now be worried that you’ll miss your dance lesson because the traffic is so dumb.
The day did have a few small redeeming factors.
1. I got a birthday card from my sister.
2. I got a box of MRE pairs from my sister.
3. I got my ‘real’ birthday gift from my parents.
4. Shawn made me laugh at dance.
5. I got to sleep in my bed, the new one.
The end.
PS Dad: No inspiration today, sorry.
my car will not start
he’s being a big bitch
i want some french fries.
-Cupcake
Today’s Exploit:
Yesterday.
Yesterday was long.
It was one of THOSE days. The ones where you really want to strangle the stupid driver training guy. But end up screaming in your car and crying to the first person who’s sympathetic.
Yep. It was fun.
The scenario:
Have an expired drivers’ license, and only one day (2 hours) home to renew it
Be exhausted from working all night rigging equipment down and packing it into a box that is 4.62 inches too small.
Drive all day so that you can sleep in your OWN bed, arrive at your flat at 3:30 pm.
Call the driver training facility for their hours.
Call the Red Wing shoe store for their hours; you need new ones since you lost one of your other pair.
Arrange a dance lesson for 5:00 pm.
Get the mail.
Pay your rent. (tomorrow morning you’ll realize that you need to pay two months’ rent because school will last through the next due date)
Ask for a package that they didn’t notify you about. (They assume the slip saying to go to the Post Office is the notification. )
Be frustrated because you think it’s Saturday and the Post Office is already closed for the week. Also note that the piece of mail you are to pick up is certified and will be sent back after 15 days. Resolve to call the sending party.
Decide that the driver training facility to renew your driver’s license. (lose the last remaining tie to being anything other than an “Oklahoman”. This in itself is enough to make you cry.)
Drive to the facility. (This is much more difficult than it sounds. It entails driving through city traffic, aka rush hour. Then Timmy, the GPS, tells you to go the wrong way. Then you drive around a block 4.72 times because the building has no sign. Also, reaffirm that people from Oklahoma really don’t know how to drive. Or if they do they’re just jerks. Stop and talk to the guy at the cell phone place for directions. Drive around the block again looking for the cop cars now that you know it’s an HP office, as well.)
When you arrive there will be a line of 15 year olds toting all 36 members of their extended family, plus their older brother’s girlfriend’s family, extending out the door and around the corner. (Probably there were only 3 or 4 teenagers, but a total of 150 people were there)
Stand in line for 28 minutes before the driver training guy asks what you are there for:
Guy: What do you need?
Me: I need to renew my license.
Guy: Just renewed?
Me: My current one is from out of state, and it’s expired.
Guy: Out of state, really?
Me: Yes.
Guy: Let me see it.
Me: Show it.
Guy: Yep, it’s expired*. You’ll have to come back Monday to take the written test, and a driving test. We’re not accepting any more numbers tonight. Also you need your birth certificate or a Passport.
(They’re open for another half hour)
Me: I have to do both?
Guy: Yep try coming back Monday after 7:00.
*Thanks buddy, I wasn’t entirely sure about that.
So, you leave, get in y car, buckle my seat belt and scream. Then drive away from the driver training facility/Highway Patrol office knowing that they know that you know that your license has expired.
Call your mother to yell about it some more, but she’s probably not the best choice because she’s way too sympathetic. Instead of screaming you end up crying, while driving in rush hour traffic, in this stupid city, with an expired license. I hate crying.
Now be worried that you’ll miss your dance lesson because the traffic is so dumb.
The day did have a few small redeeming factors.
1. I got a birthday card from my sister.
2. I got a box of MRE pairs from my sister.
3. I got my ‘real’ birthday gift from my parents.
4. Shawn made me laugh at dance.
5. I got to sleep in my bed, the new one.
The end.
PS Dad: No inspiration today, sorry.
Friday, October 1
Donut: an Epic Journey
Tad the Driller: Hey you guys, we should have PJ come up here more often. I’ve never seen you work this hard!
Byrd the Hand: I quit smoking in January. I traded my cigarettes for Twinkies.
Today’s Exploit:
Today I took some donuts to the guys working on the rig. They were pretty ecstatic. The first thing they did was tell the guy working in the derrick. (He’s 90 feet above the rig floor, so they only let him come down once in a while.)
He really likes donuts; they were doing their best to torture and provoke him. Then they decided they’d be nice and send one up to him. So they tied a string through it, pendulum style. Then they tied it to the handle of the elevators (the clasp that hooks around pipe to move it up and down above the rig floor).
Naturally the wind was blowing. The donut was banged against the pipe a few times on the way up, collecting spots of mud and anything else coming out of the well.
Hammer the Driller: Sorry Stephen, we tried.
Stephen: That’s okay, I’ll still eat it.
Hammer the Driller: I bet you won’t!
Stephen: I will! I’ll have it eaten by the time I rack that stand back!
By the time the donut got to him it nearly looked like a chocolate covered one, rather than the plain we sent. But, true to his word, he grabbed it and shoved the whole thing in his mouth before setting the pipe in the stand.
Everyone on the floor was looking up, to see what his reaction would be. They found him quite entertaining.
PS Dad: Today you should make leftovers!
Byrd the Hand: I quit smoking in January. I traded my cigarettes for Twinkies.
Today’s Exploit:
Today I took some donuts to the guys working on the rig. They were pretty ecstatic. The first thing they did was tell the guy working in the derrick. (He’s 90 feet above the rig floor, so they only let him come down once in a while.)
He really likes donuts; they were doing their best to torture and provoke him. Then they decided they’d be nice and send one up to him. So they tied a string through it, pendulum style. Then they tied it to the handle of the elevators (the clasp that hooks around pipe to move it up and down above the rig floor).
Naturally the wind was blowing. The donut was banged against the pipe a few times on the way up, collecting spots of mud and anything else coming out of the well.
Hammer the Driller: Sorry Stephen, we tried.
Stephen: That’s okay, I’ll still eat it.
Hammer the Driller: I bet you won’t!
Stephen: I will! I’ll have it eaten by the time I rack that stand back!
By the time the donut got to him it nearly looked like a chocolate covered one, rather than the plain we sent. But, true to his word, he grabbed it and shoved the whole thing in his mouth before setting the pipe in the stand.
Everyone on the floor was looking up, to see what his reaction would be. They found him quite entertaining.
PS Dad: Today you should make leftovers!
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