Conversation About a Stroller

The fitbit tracking competition has begun. After 1 baseline week we stand:

1 Dad: 92410 steps

2 PJ: 82262 steps

3 Cupcake: 71601 steps

4 Mom: 45091 steps

The real counting starts today!

Today’s Exploit:

The other day I was helping H clean out his house, because he is moving. He doesn’t have much stuff and we spent most of the time trying to get gunk off the floor and walls and (eek) bathrooms. Also, we spent a bit trying to organize the stuff that his brother and sister-in-law had left when they moved out.  

In one closet I found a stroller, some bed supports and two Army uniform skirts. I put these aside so that I could sweep.

Klay was with me at the time and asked what the stroller was.

Klay:  What’s this?

Me:  A stroller.

Klay:  What are you going to do with it?

Me:  Probably give it away or throw it away.

Klay:  Why?

Me:  Because we don’t need it.

Klay:  You should keep it, you might need it tomorrow.

He has been hinting for a while that he wants to be a big brother, and has upped his game.  He has also asked when H and I will get married so that he can have a little brother.  And has told us that he’d be ok with a puppy for a younger brother, for the time being. 

Just to be clear... this is all wishful thinking on his part.

I’m a Loud Baker

Happy Belated New Year. 

I have been busy pretending the internet does not exist. This might otherwise be known as procrastinating.

Today’s Exploit:

The other day I made some cookies and some rolls.

We were not busy and I wanted something to do besides trying to stay awake while sitting in an office chair surrounded by computer monitors.

So I made some Amaretto Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies and was told that I know what I’m doing because the cookies were not to chewy and not too crispy.  Not sure how I managed that, but I am getting better at pretending it was on purpose.

After I finished kneading the bread and washing dishes the directional driller, Dane, who had been sawing some serious logs the entire time I was in the kitchen told me I was too loud.

Dane: I wanted to take a nap, but you guys were being too loud.

Me: (trying not to laugh) Oh, I’m sorry.

Chris: It sounded like you were sleeping pretty well.

Dane: Why, was I snoring?

Chris: Yes, a little.

Dane: I guess I might have fallen asleep for a while.

And later to the other directional driller:

Dane: I got a good nap this afternoon, I missed the whole [football] game.

Where You From?

I made Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies last night. Then I ate way too many of them

Today’s Exploit:

The other day, when I was doing some real work, for a change, one of the roughnecks asked me where I was from.

Him: Hey, you ain’t from around here, where you from?

Me: I grew up in Wyoming.

Him: Whoa, you a long way from home.

Me: Yes.

Him: I was jus’ wonderin’ cause you got a accident,

I smiled an went on with my work, while inside I was laughing until my cheeks fell off and my stomach started hurting. 

The Great Mouse Hunt

Did you know that you can make flax seeds into granola? I didn’t. I want to try it but I can’t find flax in the middle-of-nowhere.

Today’s Exploit:

We have mice.

It appears that we have many of them.

We saw 3 in about 10 minutes the other day.

That is when the hunt began.

Matt and George and Reed take turns with the BB gun, they have set out a multitude of sticky traps and all the doors are blocked with towels to keep them out of bedrooms.

They do this because the mice seem to like to cuddle with me.

They managed to shoot one and catch another on a sticky trap. 

Another got caught in a sticky trap when they were all gone.

It was so sad. 

I hate sticky traps.

So I took the trapped mouse outside and dropped a brick on it so it wouldn’t have to struggle and eventually starve.

I didn’t like it.

I almost cried.

And there was no one there to give me a hug.

They Plague Me

I have been reading Terry Pratchett continuously for the past 2.475 months. I still have many books to go before I finish them all. Yet there are nowhere near enough of them left.

Today’s Exploit:

Another mouse is in our trailer. It was on my bed again the other night. I yelled at it and flailed around trying to throw it off my bed and into never-never land where it will live it’s life in rodent heaven and never want to climb on my bed again. 

Today I did laundry and washed my sheets to cleanse them of mouse filth.

Ew.

Also, today, George told me that he saved my life last night without me knowing it. He shot the mouse as it was making a dash for my room. Then he shot it again as it tried to escape from it’s spot under the stove. 

I’m not sure which makes me more nervous. The mouse or George.

At least it didn’t come and run around on my bed again. 

My sheets won’t last very long if it keeps doing that, since I have to wash them vigorously after being touched by the horrible, horrible monster. 

I think that this is one situation in which I would welcome Oni, and not hate her when she tries to sleep behind my knees. 

A Ski Trip for Texans

On my way home I stopped at the office to talk to Joanne, the HR person. She wanted to make sure I wasn’t too traumatized by my experiences in Canada. She asked me a few times if I was ok and then we talked about other things for a few hours. 

Her daughter wants to be an engineer and a baker, too. I like her already and we’ve never met. I hope she grows up to be everything she dreams of.

Today’s Exploit:

I went home for a visit. I took H. and Klay with me. I wanted to make them ski. I knew it would be great entertainment. I imagined graphic scenes of a snowball with skis and poles rolling down the hill and yelling. And naturally I’d be skiing gracefully behind it laughing and helping it up at the bottom. As for Klay, I figured he’d pick it up in no time at all.

And it was great entertainment while my dad was teaching Klay. I saw a few good crashes, and the skis came off a few times while flailing and trying to fall sideways. But then Dad had to go back to work and the teaching was left entirely to me. 

That was scary. 

I’m not that great a skier, how am I supposed to teach a four year old?

So we did a few more runs before he decided it was too hard and started telling me he was scared. Then I got irritated and hungry and decided we should stop before I left him in the middle of a windy hill. 

So we had lunch and I switched to a snowboard, which is not the best of ideas in my opinion, I’m just getting somewhat comfortable at the skiing thing. 

I went with H. up the kiddy hill and I made us wreck when getting off the lift. Off to a good start. 

But then H. took a wrong turn and I had to climb back up the hill to follow him, since he was going too fast and ignored me when I asked if he really wanted to go that way.  That way took a long time because the road sloped sideways, and it’s hard to get up and get some momentum when you have to go into the trees to do it. At any rate, I got a good ab workout leapfrogging up to the top side of the road and slipping slowly to the bottom side, just to repeat it all again.

When we got to the bottom, after a very strenuous time for both of us, is when I got to break the news about taking another ride on the chairlift. See, the way we went took us to the back side and we were stuck FAR away from the lodge, and the only way back is to take another run. 

On that one I finally was able to turn a little, which is amazing considering that the other two times I tried to snowboard I was way to scared of catching my back edge and landing on my head. 

I still landed on my bum once or twice or 37.682 times, but didn’t make it so far as my head. 

Needless to say we were done with snowboarding after that, but I did hear a whisper saying that we can go skiing again next time.  

Yay!

I Just Like To Be Selfish Sometimes, OK?

I get a fruit tray from the kitchen every day. They write my name on the box so I’m not forgotten. I have had many spelling incarnations on that box. Today I was called Maya, yesterday it was Mkiah.

Today’s Exploit:

I had this conversation today:

H: Whoa! Lightning’s going on. They’re like pew pew pew pew pew. And I was like “Whoa”, and it was like “Whoa”.

PJ: ...

H: Hey, are you there?

PJ: Yes, just a sec I had to write that down

H: Write what down?

PJ: The lightening thing.

H: Why? Are you going to use it in your blog?

PJ: Maybe.

H: You’re actually going to write about me in your blog? You never write about me.

PJ: I wrote about you once.

H: You called me your friend.

PJ: It was the first time we hung out, you were my friend.

H: It was when we went to Wyoming!

PJ: Oh, see? I’ve written about you twice!

H: But you called me your friend.

PJ: I probably always will. If I write about you at all.

H: Why?

PJ: Because you’re mine. And I’m selfish.

H: You’re afraid if you write about me someone will try to take me?

PJ: Maybe.

Well, That Was Awkward, Please Refrain From Such Comments in the Future

Today’s sunrise.

Also featuring a dirt pile, because I was wearing my gym shoes and didn't want to leave the safety of the walkway and risk getting snow on my pretty pink footwear.

Today’s Exploit:

I think Mitch’s entire purpose out here is to attempt to embarrass me, with the help of Ali, my ‘friend’. 

My first encounter with him was more or less normal, he joked and I smiled. The next time, however, I was fighting an o-ring. I was trying to get it in place around my flow sleeve, a steel cylinder with a flare at one end, and he decided it would be funny to comment on how well I did such a task. Sexual innuendo inserted here. Following that was an episode where Oscar had to help me and Mitch told us, “PJ puts the o-ring on way better than you.” Cue red face. 

Another encounter was the time he blatantly ignored the closed door in the weight room/gym and walked in on me working out. I actually didn’t expect any company that day, and was only wearing my sports bra and shorts. When I packed up to leave I had to walk through the gym to replace the mat and the Lysol. At that time he started a conversation about how difficult it is to work out when working nights, and I made not-committal noises. When he failed to get me talking he came in with this line:

“So, you look good.”

I made a beeline for the door calling out to have a good workout over my shoulder.

I was somewhat relieved when his last day came, and he was to go home for a week, but he had to have the parting shot.

Mitch: PJ, you know the two things I love about you?

PJ: (still trying to comprehend that remark and meaning What did you say?, rather than What are they?) What?

Mitch: Well, your name’s one of them.

He then proceeded to walk out the door and leave me trying to figure out if I heard the first part of that exchange properly. I’m pretty sure he wanted me to follow and beg him to tell me the rest or to be completely absorbed in figuring out the answer over the week he was gone, but I was so relieved to avoid such confrontations that it completely backfired. 

Tomorrow he switches back to nights, and I’m dreading having to be on the rig floor when he is. Especially after Ali told me how my trainee was acting around him, and a conversation the three of them had a few days ago concerning the time at the gym. Any advice on avoiding unwanted attention and diffusing the possible jealousy of someone yearning for attention?

My Apologies

I am very sorry, but this may be my final post for a while. I have more posts in my queue, but I made an agreement with my mother that I would post more if she did. Sadly, she hasn’t kept up her end of the deal, and I’ve come to find out she made a similar agreement with my sister. So Cupcake and I have agreed to protest by discontinuing our posting.  I will start my protest today, Cupcake will start hers in one week if no new posts appear on The Naylor Home Front.

Until Mom posts again...

Adieu.

Today’s Exploit:

When talking about trying to convince my mom to update her bloggie:

PJ: I said I'd do more posts if she did. And then she didn't. 

Cupcake: haha she said she would do more posts if i did. and then she didn't.

PJ: I may have to postpone some of mine as incentive.

Cupcake: hahah do it.

The notice:

To my mom:

I have 2 or 3 posts ready to go, but since you haven't made any new posts I will be forced to postpone them indefinitely. I will make an apology letter for my next one, and then wait...

When Cupcake found out what I said: hahahahahahahahaha

Cupcake: you can tell her that i said if she doesn't make a post within one week, i have agreed to also postpone my future posts.

So, the notice continues:

My sister has also agreed that if you do not make a post within 1 week she will also postpone her posts indefinitely.

Thank you and good night.

Cupcake’s response: hahahahahahaha

Um, Please Don’t Do That

I spend my mornings in fear that one of the roughnecks will decide to use their gym, now that they’ve taken over the room I usually commandeer for my workout. 

Today’s Exploit:

When I arrived at the Canadian rig I got a lot of funny looks, because everyone was expecting a guy since my name is rather androgynous. 

Then I was accosted right and left for wearing jeans, everyone had to make sure that they were fire retardant. Many of the roughnecks were amazed when I told them that, yes, my jeans have the proper properties to wear at the rig.

One of these conversations happened after I had been talking to Kas for a while, and was almost starting to feel comfortable around him.

Kas: Are your jeans fire retardant?

Me: (Showing him my reflecties) Yes, they are.

Kas: That’s so cool, I want some.

Me: I hate them and avoid wearing them whenever possible because they’re so tight I can hardly breath when I do.

Kas: (Leaning to check out my backside) Well, I think they fit just right.

Me: (Stammer a bit and turn bright red)

Why is it that every one I start to feel comfortable with, as a friend, has to go and burst my little happy bubble by doing something like this? I like my bubble and only get self-conscious and awkward when I know that people are watching me. Especially my bum.

Boys are frustrating.

I’m Not Sure How to Respond to That

I really don’t like my job today.

Today’s Exploit:

Alleah is the housekeeper at the camp that caters to the rig crew. They have individual rooms, a common room and make about 10.2 times the amount of food needed by everyone working on the rig. Alleah gets to clean the bedrooms every day, and the nasty boy-bathrooms. 

Since only three women are residing at this camp, Alleah talks to me a lot. I get to hear how disgusting the boys are and how horrible and evil the head cook is to her. I also have heard all about her boyfriend problems and know a great deal about her family. (Ali likes to talk)

The other night I was getting some salad to take with me for a “lunch” when she walked out of the kitchen.

Alleah: PJ, you have a nice butt!

Me: Um, thank you?

Alleah: No, really. Are those Lululemon pants, because those are awesome and make everyone look like they have curves.

Me: No, they’re just some cheap ones I found.

Alleah: Oh. Well, you have a nice butt, it’s nice and curvy.

Me: ...

Alleah: (walking away) It’s nice, you look black from the back.

I was completely blindsided by this conversation. Alleah has so much attitude, and she’s not shy about anything, and this conversation happened in the middle of the dining/common room. I don’t know how to respond to things like that, and I’m pretty sure anyone within earshot of her watched as I walked back to my room with my face flaming red and pulling my shirt down as far as I could.

My New Year's Adventure

I am doing the Insanity workout. I am starting week 3 today. I don’t remember my feet cramping so much last time I did this. 

Ouch.

Today’s Exploit:

Some time last month I was told: “AAAHHHHHHH! WE ARE SHORT ON PEOPLE IN CANADA AND HAVE TO MANY PEOPLE HERE AND THEREFORE YOU MUST LEAVE IN TWO DAYS!”

And my reply was: “Um, two days? I don’t really have anything together.”

Then they said, “BUT WE NEED YOU THERE THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY AND NO ONE ELSE HAD THEIR PAPERWORK OR PASSPORT CRAP TOGETHER AND THEREFORE YOU ARE THE ONE THAT MUST LEAVE YESTERDAY!”

So I said: “Ok, I need to go home and pack, and maybe buy something warm to wear since Texas never sees temperatures below 98 degrees Fahrenheit.”

Then some plans changed and they told me: “OK YOU CAN HAVE 5 DAYS AT HOME BUT YOU MUST DO ALL THE TRAVEL ORGANIZATION AND CLASS REQUIREMENT SCHEDULING YOURSELF ON THIS REALLY CONFUSING WEBSITE!”

And I managed to get everything organized, through the company website, along with some plans for expense reports and got a call from the manager telling me to be at the shop the same time I was supposed to be taking Emergency First Aid. 

Yay for confusion.

Anyway, some Canadian pictures for your viewing pleasure.

My home for 2.1 days. I walked in and out the door 37 times the night I got there, I'm pretty sure the desk attendant hated me.

I thought my sister would like this. A nice little market place 3 or 4.3 blocks from my home. It's kinda like a mall with an imports grocery in the middle.

And then I found a river island and fell in love, because it has a running path, a skating rink and a coffee shop that was closed for New Year's holiday.

See how much I loved it? I even learned to use the settings on my camera for it.

And I loved it some more with picnic tables and a strange cowboy hat-swing in the background.

That was the bridge where I discovered the skating rink. It was on the river, on both sides of the bridge with chairs and cones for new skaters and people doing jumps and some kids playing illegal hockey and all sorts of fun stuff. I was sad I didn't have my skates with me.

Calgary has some really awesome street lamps also, I was in love with them too.

The Green Thumb of Cooking

Today’s Exploit:

I got two small days off, when they sent someone to the other rig to take my place and before they sent me back to my rig. It was lovely and horrible. I loved that I got time off, I’m getting used to this schedule thing and going to another rig disrupted it. And it was horrible because I only had 2 days, gah.

But now I am back on my rig and dying from heat and lack of sleep. George basically forced me to go to bed, telling me that he’d make absolutely certain that my depth was right before they started drilling, and my night hand, Harley, said I could sleep late this morning if I needed. 

I like working with nice people.

Today, after checking on the computers and making sure everything was working properly, I went back to the trailer to make breakfast. I stuck a frozen waffle in the toaster, a store bought one because I never remember to make enough right before I go to work to have fresh ones. While it was toasting I was washing and slicing some strawberries to put on top of said waffle. Suddenly George was leaning over my shoulder sniffing like he’d just found the prize apple pie at the county fair. 

Me: It’s a waffle, do you want one?

George: No, but you have a way of making everything smell good.

Me: It’s a frozen waffle, I didn’t do anything to it.

George: I know! But everything you cook smells amazing. You have a talent!

So, evidently I have a talent for making frozen store waffles smell good. It’s, like, the green thumb of cooking. The Cinnamon Nose, or something. But it’s my magical talent, so I’ll take it.

The Stories I Hear

I have just spent an hour learning how to cite a reference.

Today’s Exploit:

Right now George is working days because Matt is on paternity leave. 

Being around George is like being lost in a library of fiction stories. Except that his stories are real. And he always has a story. Sometimes I’ve heard them before, like the time he was blown up, or that he’s been run over by 4 cars.

But most of the time they’re new. I’ve learned about his brother, who is 250 pounds of muscle and about as mean as a teddy bear until he snaps. Then, watch out! Or about his snake that he was growing to make a pair of boots, and a belt. But the snake is on the protected species list and they won’t let him. And he just learned that you’re supposed to have a special license to own this type of snake. 

He also was telling me how to train your dog to count. It’s all about the treat. And he’s got a pet goat. It’s named Dog.