Hi-Jacking Porch Swings is Overrated

I just got a phone call from an OKC number. My phone dropped the call, so I have no idea as to the premise of the call.

Me: Hello?

Them: Hey, this is [Cupcake] and we’re on our way.

Me: Um? I think you may have the wrong number?

This is where I would hear a dial tone if my phone had one of those.

First of all: Cupcake, what are you doing calling me from and OKC number?

B: Why are you coming? And from where? Did you run away again?

B ½: You’re supposed to be studying! Get to work chicken-head.

5-H: I’m not there so you can’t come see me.

Today’s Exploit:

Last night, after my endless run that lasted 8 minutes and 43 seconds longer than it was supposed to, I hi-jacked half of the porch swing at the Company Man’s trailer. The company man sat was in the other half.

My crazy friend, Herb, and I talked for a long time. He told me stories and complained about his job, and exalted his job, and told me to never get married. He also had probably 5 rum-and-cokes. He gave me one, too. Then he laughed when I told him I couldn’t handle another.

We talked about the weather, how I was comfortable in a t-shirt and shorts, but he needed long sleeves and pants. He also told me about the 115+ degreeF summer temperatures for this area. I said I’d probably melt more violently and stickily than the Wicked Witch of the West.

I told him about my aspirations to feed people, and he told me about his mother.

Then, in the natural course of things, we returned to the topic of the people I work with being scared of him.

Herb: Why are they afraid of me?

Me: I don’t know, maybe you give the impression of being mean.

Herb: But I’m not, I’m just quiet.

Me: And intimidating.

Herb: You know I’m not mean.

Me: Yep, I figured that out when you started rating girls’ bums and asked me to weigh in.

Herb:  looks at me slyly
Me: (Crap!) No!

Herb: Let me just say…

Me: (Why did I go and do that?)

Herb: …that the way you walk across location…Mmm.

Me: Resigned. Thank you. Now I have to go to bed.

Herb: Can I…?

Me: NO!

Herb: Fine. Good night.

Then I proceeded to go back to my trailer backwards.