Most of the guys on rigs don't ask me for my phone number, they just ask if I'm married. When I say no they tell me they love me, one even asked me to marry him. On the rare occasion (twice) that they ask me, I am caught off guard and give it to them. This results in some pretty interesting phone calls...Late at night.
Today's Exploit:
The other night I woke to my phone ringing. When that happens I just answer. It takes me about 3.24 minutes before I can think/understand/reason. Of course the first thing they ask is: What are you doing?
Damn, dude. I'm the most boring person you know, all I do is Work and Read and Cook. What do you think I'm going to be doing? Hanging out at the clubs with my nonexistent friends?
Well it turns out this guy had been drinking a bit and was feeling chatty.
Steve: Hey! What are you doing?
Me: Mpfht
Steve: I just got a tattoo!
Me: Huh?
Steve: Yeah, it's this little lawn gnome with funky boots and a funky hat pushing a lawn mower...just below my belt line...
Me: Huh, just what I wanted to know...
Steve: Yeah, one of my friends is a tattoo artist, and every time I go drinking with him, I get a new tattoo.
Me: Oh.
Steve: Oh, hang on, my neighbor's coming up to the door. (in the background I hear some indeterminate mumbling, then...) Yeah, I just about run my truck off into the ditch!
Me: Shoot, you're driving, talking on the phone, and drunk? I don't want any part of this...
To top it all off, he called to apologize the next morning...right in the middle of my run.
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