I get to go home soon. To see the snow! And ski! I will have to make 17 snow angels as well. And probably push my sister into a drift.
Today’s Exploit:
Today I ventured up to the rig floor to harass the roughnecks. We talked about growing up in small towns and how horrible the drive from Oklahoma City is. We also talked about my pink boots. They didn’t believe that they have steel toes.
Then we talked about hunting and how to cook deer. I have been informed that I will be eating venison fried in the East Texas tradition. Fried.
This sparked an argument between two of the guys about geography and where the boundary line for East Texas lies.
They bickered about this for 2.1 hours before moving on to argue about whether the Rocky Mountains extend into Texas. They had me rolling on the floor laughing with some of their claims.
Kevin: The Rocky Mountains go into Texas, don’t they?
Melvin: No, West Texas is flat.
Kevin: Really, I think they do.
They had to look it up on Google Maps to end the quarrel.
Kevin: So, where are the Rocky Mountains?
Melvin: Colorado.
Kevin: And?
Melvin: New Mexico.
Kevin: And?
Melvin: Nevada.
Kevin: And Texas!
Melvin: It’s only a little tiny bump.
Kevin: It’s still mountains.
Melvin: (Looks at phone) Oh, I just got an update; the little bit fell off and rolled west. So there aren’t mountains in Texas any more.
Friday, December 10
Thursday, December 9
Stealthy
Published by
P.J.
. at
8:30 AM
Cellular reception is terrible here. My phone only stays charged for 8.2 hours. Not that I ever use it, but sometimes I like to pretend that I’m popular and people like to communicate with me.
Today’s Exploit:
The guys have decided that I’m sneaky because I can get up to the floor without them hearing me. They seem to think that this is some great feat of stealthyness. They tell me I should let them know when I’m going up the stairs so that I don’t scare them.
I think they’ve been working around loud machinery far too long.
On my trips up I stomp and stumble and sing at the top of my lungs. Sadly my lungs are no match for the grinding and shrieking of the rig. The noise is rapidly increasing my hearing loss, and I spend the nights in a sound-proof box. It’s a good thing I get to leave soon; I think my ears are going to start bleeding if I spend much more time here.
Today’s Exploit:
The guys have decided that I’m sneaky because I can get up to the floor without them hearing me. They seem to think that this is some great feat of stealthyness. They tell me I should let them know when I’m going up the stairs so that I don’t scare them.
I think they’ve been working around loud machinery far too long.
On my trips up I stomp and stumble and sing at the top of my lungs. Sadly my lungs are no match for the grinding and shrieking of the rig. The noise is rapidly increasing my hearing loss, and I spend the nights in a sound-proof box. It’s a good thing I get to leave soon; I think my ears are going to start bleeding if I spend much more time here.
Now that I know I can scare them, no matter how much noise I make, I take pleasure in running up the stairs at random intervals just to say hi.
Wednesday, December 8
Champion
Published by
P.J.
. at
8:30 AM
The people out here tell me they’ve killed TONS of rattlesnakes. They also warn me daily to watch for them while I run. They’re pretty much obsessed; it’s all I hear about.
The company man even threatened to shoot me if I run in the dark.
Today’s Exploit:
That guy is back. You know? The one that would sit in the box and talk and talk, and never leave. The one that caused the other crew to buy Mace for me.
I saw him this morning. He waved. This evening he came in and complained about how weak my wave was. He stayed and talked at me about nothing for another half an hour.
I had told my friend Jason about him. (Jason is the one whose wife made Thanksgiving for EVERYONE) He has decided that he is my champion and continually asks me if I need him to get people fired. He also has decided that I need to visit him and his wife since I have no friends.
He’s also decreed that I need to meet his horses since I have funky/cowboy-steel toed boots.
The company man even threatened to shoot me if I run in the dark.
Today’s Exploit:
That guy is back. You know? The one that would sit in the box and talk and talk, and never leave. The one that caused the other crew to buy Mace for me.
I saw him this morning. He waved. This evening he came in and complained about how weak my wave was. He stayed and talked at me about nothing for another half an hour.
I had told my friend Jason about him. (Jason is the one whose wife made Thanksgiving for EVERYONE) He has decided that he is my champion and continually asks me if I need him to get people fired. He also has decided that I need to visit him and his wife since I have no friends.
He’s also decreed that I need to meet his horses since I have funky/cowboy-steel toed boots.
Monday, December 6
Stairs
Published by
P.J.
. at
8:30 AM
Honey, honey, honey you're the death of me
Won't stop holding my hands down
Baby, baby, baby you'll never let me
You've got a dark heart
You've got a cold kiss
-The Hush Sound
I really like this song. I listen to it incessantly
Today’s Exploit:
Today I had to work. I had to program some tools that I am not very familiar with. And I had to do it using a connection that I have never used before. It was nearly a traumatic experience.
The first one went very smoothly. Plug in, power up, program, done.
The second one was not so simple. First I had to find a ratchet to remove a plug. The shop did not think this was necessary equipment to send with the toolbox. So I ran up and down the stairs 3 times looking for one. Then I needed a screwdriver small enough to remove a snap clip. So I ran up and down the stairs again. Next was another plug with the same ratchet. Then I needed needle-nose pliers for an e-clip, but I was prepared for this one.
But then I encountered a third plug. And I could not, for the life of me, figure out how to remove it. Nothing in my little toolbox had the proper threads or length to fit the plug and still grip it to pull it out. So I ran up and down the stairs a few more (5.8) times. Finally I stumbled across some directions and a screw in the BIG toolbox.
Finally I was to the port, but then I realized that the connection adapter I had did not fit. This meant 3.2 more trips up and down. I finally discovered another box in a corner under some dirty rags. This box is the Holy Grail for this tool. It had all the equipment I needed to begin with, but the guy I work with neglected to mention it’s location. I might have to hide it under some empty boxes for when he has to program tools.
I think I made 86.4 trips up the stairs today. Currently my legs are protesting. I’ll be lucky if I make it back to the trailer without crawling. Anyone have an extra pair of crutches? Or a walker? Or a wheelchair?
Won't stop holding my hands down
Baby, baby, baby you'll never let me
You've got a dark heart
You've got a cold kiss
-The Hush Sound
I really like this song. I listen to it incessantly
Today’s Exploit:
Today I had to work. I had to program some tools that I am not very familiar with. And I had to do it using a connection that I have never used before. It was nearly a traumatic experience.
The first one went very smoothly. Plug in, power up, program, done.
The second one was not so simple. First I had to find a ratchet to remove a plug. The shop did not think this was necessary equipment to send with the toolbox. So I ran up and down the stairs 3 times looking for one. Then I needed a screwdriver small enough to remove a snap clip. So I ran up and down the stairs again. Next was another plug with the same ratchet. Then I needed needle-nose pliers for an e-clip, but I was prepared for this one.
But then I encountered a third plug. And I could not, for the life of me, figure out how to remove it. Nothing in my little toolbox had the proper threads or length to fit the plug and still grip it to pull it out. So I ran up and down the stairs a few more (5.8) times. Finally I stumbled across some directions and a screw in the BIG toolbox.
Finally I was to the port, but then I realized that the connection adapter I had did not fit. This meant 3.2 more trips up and down. I finally discovered another box in a corner under some dirty rags. This box is the Holy Grail for this tool. It had all the equipment I needed to begin with, but the guy I work with neglected to mention it’s location. I might have to hide it under some empty boxes for when he has to program tools.
I think I made 86.4 trips up the stairs today. Currently my legs are protesting. I’ll be lucky if I make it back to the trailer without crawling. Anyone have an extra pair of crutches? Or a walker? Or a wheelchair?
Saturday, December 4
Doctor Visit
Published by
P.J.
. at
8:30 AM
I slept for 4.38 hours, then drove for 10.12 hours, then worked for 12.72 hours. Please forgive my incoherence.
Today’s Exploit:
I went to the doctor the other day. It was very traumatic.
I got an infection on my hand. My eczema sometimes gets too dried out and cracks and then gets infected. So I made an appointment with my dermatologist for a checkup and to get drugs to make the infection go away.
I arrived at the doctor’s office, and was shown to a room where I waited for 15.82 minutes. It was very boring and sterile. This doctor doesn’t put pictures on the walls.
Then she came in. She asked what my concerns were, so I told her about my infection. She looked at it and said, “it’s a wart.” I didn’t believe her. In my experience warts do not grow to the size of chocolate chips, or get inflamed, or make it hurt to bend your fingers. They don’t have puss in them either.
But the doctor happily got a razor and started hacking at my finger, claiming she was cutting off the callus. By the time she was done my finger was almost gone. And it didn’t feel any better. Then she was going to freeze the rest of it off.
I declined.
I still didn’t believe it was a wart.
And it was still infected. But I was afraid she’d cut the rest of my hand off if I stayed any longer to ask about it. So I ran as fast as I could to my car and roared away.
Today’s Exploit:
I went to the doctor the other day. It was very traumatic.
I got an infection on my hand. My eczema sometimes gets too dried out and cracks and then gets infected. So I made an appointment with my dermatologist for a checkup and to get drugs to make the infection go away.
I arrived at the doctor’s office, and was shown to a room where I waited for 15.82 minutes. It was very boring and sterile. This doctor doesn’t put pictures on the walls.
Then she came in. She asked what my concerns were, so I told her about my infection. She looked at it and said, “it’s a wart.” I didn’t believe her. In my experience warts do not grow to the size of chocolate chips, or get inflamed, or make it hurt to bend your fingers. They don’t have puss in them either.
But the doctor happily got a razor and started hacking at my finger, claiming she was cutting off the callus. By the time she was done my finger was almost gone. And it didn’t feel any better. Then she was going to freeze the rest of it off.
I declined.
I still didn’t believe it was a wart.
And it was still infected. But I was afraid she’d cut the rest of my hand off if I stayed any longer to ask about it. So I ran as fast as I could to my car and roared away.
Thursday, November 25
Pie Day
Published by
P.J.
. at
8:30 AM
I was asked to identify a snake today. I don’t know anything about snakes.
Cody: Do you know what it is?
Me: It’s a snake.
Cody: Yeah, what kind is it?
Me: I don’t know.
Today’s Exploit:
I had a good story, I know it.
I just don’t remember what it was.
I’m making pies today. And I chopped about fifteen pounds of potatoes for the roughnecks. My new friend Amanda also chopped five pounds. They decided to make mashed potatoes and potato salad. With no eggs. All the eggs went toward Deviled eggs.
Oh, and did I mention the pies? I am making three, Amanda made three, and the company man or toolpusher, or someone has two (I think his may be store bought). Wish me luck. I’m leaving my apple pie in the oven all night like an old neighbor said to. Hopefully it doesn’t start to moulder in this crazy humidity.
PS. Happy Thanksgiving!
Cody: Do you know what it is?
Me: It’s a snake.
Cody: Yeah, what kind is it?
Me: I don’t know.
Today’s Exploit:
I had a good story, I know it.
I just don’t remember what it was.
I’m making pies today. And I chopped about fifteen pounds of potatoes for the roughnecks. My new friend Amanda also chopped five pounds. They decided to make mashed potatoes and potato salad. With no eggs. All the eggs went toward Deviled eggs.
Oh, and did I mention the pies? I am making three, Amanda made three, and the company man or toolpusher, or someone has two (I think his may be store bought). Wish me luck. I’m leaving my apple pie in the oven all night like an old neighbor said to. Hopefully it doesn’t start to moulder in this crazy humidity.
PS. Happy Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 23
A History
Published by
P.J.
. at
8:30 AM
For a moment there I almost had a hope of being off for the holiday. But that almost hope was quickly dashed away when I looked at a larger version of the well plot. Probably I still have 2.84 weeks, just because I was hoping.
Today’s Exploit:
I was looking up some useless trivia and stumbled over a fact about Dracula. I am currently reading the book, and was rather intrigued. So I did some more research, because the gory facts were too disgusting to pass by.
Turns out Count Dracula may be loosely based on a real person. A person who actually lived, and existed, and murdered people in history. This person was Vlad the Impaler, a prince of Wallachia. He lived in the 1400s.
He fought very hard for his throne, and somehow ended up having three different reigns. Throughout his life he killed thousands of people, mostly Turks. Most of them were impaled, thus the title.
Eventually he was killed in battle, or possibly had had his eyes burned out and then was buried alive. And the next day, or a few years later, when they opened his grave he wasn’t there. The death scenario depends on the source. But they agree that his remains weren’t in his grave.
Woooo…he was already a vampire!
The end.
Today’s Exploit:
I was looking up some useless trivia and stumbled over a fact about Dracula. I am currently reading the book, and was rather intrigued. So I did some more research, because the gory facts were too disgusting to pass by.
Turns out Count Dracula may be loosely based on a real person. A person who actually lived, and existed, and murdered people in history. This person was Vlad the Impaler, a prince of Wallachia. He lived in the 1400s.
He fought very hard for his throne, and somehow ended up having three different reigns. Throughout his life he killed thousands of people, mostly Turks. Most of them were impaled, thus the title.
Eventually he was killed in battle, or possibly had had his eyes burned out and then was buried alive. And the next day, or a few years later, when they opened his grave he wasn’t there. The death scenario depends on the source. But they agree that his remains weren’t in his grave.
Woooo…he was already a vampire!
The end.
Monday, November 22
BFF - Probably Not
Published by
P.J.
. at
8:30 AM
It occurred to me today that hunting season is in session. (I have this revelation several times throughout the fall, because there is no snow here) I also realized that I was on some back road in the country. And I wasn’t wearing orange. And probably I was surrounded by hunters.
I ran really fast back to the main dirt road.
Today’s Exploit:
I have had another baffling conversation with my friend Joseph. I thought I'd share it. Please let me know if you can make more sense of it than I.
…
Joseph: Haha. Yes. U aren’t boring to me. I like that we text.
Me: Me too.
Joseph: :) yaYyy. Bffs. Haha
Me: Haha, that’s akward.
Joseph: Awww What! :( haha
Me: I don’t know. I guess I’m not a “bff” kind of person?
Joseph: Ooooo. Its cuz I’m white huh? I see now.
Me: Yes that’s it. And you’re not tall enough. And probably smarter than me. Otherwise it would be ok.
Joseph: Awwwww. I’ not tall enough? Womp. And I thought I hada chance wit u :(
Me: It’s true. You must be at least 7’3”.
Joseph: O ok. Well ill delete ur number now :( haha
Me: Also you must speak with a “valley girl” accent. And I really hope you don’t because hearing people talk like that makes my hair hurt.
Me: We can be regular friends. Just not bffs. K?
Joseph: Hahahahahahah. Oookkkkk
Me: Do you ever go ice skating? I want to learn how to play hockey.
Joseph: Yesss I love ice skating!
Some of our conversations remind me of conversations with my sister. For example the conversation about her bum…
I ran really fast back to the main dirt road.
Today’s Exploit:
I have had another baffling conversation with my friend Joseph. I thought I'd share it. Please let me know if you can make more sense of it than I.
…
Joseph: Haha. Yes. U aren’t boring to me. I like that we text.
Me: Me too.
Joseph: :) yaYyy. Bffs. Haha
Me: Haha, that’s akward.
Joseph: Awww What! :( haha
Me: I don’t know. I guess I’m not a “bff” kind of person?
Joseph: Ooooo. Its cuz I’m white huh? I see now.
Me: Yes that’s it. And you’re not tall enough. And probably smarter than me. Otherwise it would be ok.
Joseph: Awwwww. I’ not tall enough? Womp. And I thought I hada chance wit u :(
Me: It’s true. You must be at least 7’3”.
Joseph: O ok. Well ill delete ur number now :( haha
Me: Also you must speak with a “valley girl” accent. And I really hope you don’t because hearing people talk like that makes my hair hurt.
Me: We can be regular friends. Just not bffs. K?
Joseph: Hahahahahahah. Oookkkkk
Me: Do you ever go ice skating? I want to learn how to play hockey.
Joseph: Yesss I love ice skating!
Some of our conversations remind me of conversations with my sister. For example the conversation about her bum…
Sunday, November 21
I Met More
Published by
P.J.
. at
8:30 AM
Today I told the DD that I am thinking of moving.
He spent three hours telling me everything that’s good about Corpus Christi.
Unfortunately living there would leave me in the same predicament I’m in now: I have to drive at least 6 hours to get to my job.
Today’s Exploit:
I went for my daily run today. It was a fight to get myself out of bed, and then dressed and out the door. Then it was a fight to make myself keep moving.
On the bright side I met 4 dogs.
The Husky: I named it Sasha. It was just there to run with me. Stayed with me for about half a mile before it saw a rabbit and took off. Then it found me when I was at work.
The Border Collie: At least I think that’s what it was. It barked at me for 4.83 minutes then hid as I got close. I could hear it rustling around in the bushes as I passed.
The Pug: I met this guy chasing cars, and stopped to pet him. He is a jumper, and too quick for me to keep him down. But we’re friends for life since I petted him.
The Black Lab: This guy was turning grey, but still trying to chase cars with the pug. I called them Harry and Garfunkel. He held back until Garfunkel got some pets. Then he came to visit. He was almost as big as me, and he smelled bad.
To Harry’s owners: He needs a bath!
He spent three hours telling me everything that’s good about Corpus Christi.
Unfortunately living there would leave me in the same predicament I’m in now: I have to drive at least 6 hours to get to my job.
Today’s Exploit:
I went for my daily run today. It was a fight to get myself out of bed, and then dressed and out the door. Then it was a fight to make myself keep moving.
On the bright side I met 4 dogs.
The Husky: I named it Sasha. It was just there to run with me. Stayed with me for about half a mile before it saw a rabbit and took off. Then it found me when I was at work.
The Border Collie: At least I think that’s what it was. It barked at me for 4.83 minutes then hid as I got close. I could hear it rustling around in the bushes as I passed.
The Pug: I met this guy chasing cars, and stopped to pet him. He is a jumper, and too quick for me to keep him down. But we’re friends for life since I petted him.
The Black Lab: This guy was turning grey, but still trying to chase cars with the pug. I called them Harry and Garfunkel. He held back until Garfunkel got some pets. Then he came to visit. He was almost as big as me, and he smelled bad.
To Harry’s owners: He needs a bath!
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