Driver Training Facility

Today’s inspired Haiku. The inspiration was a stalled car. Hers.

my car will not start
he’s being a big bitch
i want some french fries.
-Cupcake

Today’s Exploit:

Yesterday.

Yesterday was long.

It was one of THOSE days. The ones where you really want to strangle the stupid driver training guy. But end up screaming in your car and crying to the first person who’s sympathetic.

Yep. It was fun.

The scenario:

Have an expired drivers’ license, and only one day (2 hours) home to renew it

Be exhausted from working all night rigging equipment down and packing it into a box that is 4.62 inches too small.

Drive all day so that you can sleep in your OWN bed, arrive at your flat at 3:30 pm.

Call the driver training facility for their hours.

Call the Red Wing shoe store for their hours; you need new ones since you lost one of your other pair.

Arrange a dance lesson for 5:00 pm.

Get the mail.

Pay your rent. (tomorrow morning you’ll realize that you need to pay two months’ rent because school will last through the next due date)

Ask for a package that they didn’t notify you about. (They assume the slip saying to go to the Post Office is the notification. )

Be frustrated because you think it’s Saturday and the Post Office is already closed for the week. Also note that the piece of mail you are to pick up is certified and will be sent back after 15 days. Resolve to call the sending party.

Decide that the driver training facility to renew your driver’s license. (lose the last remaining tie to being anything other than an “Oklahoman”. This in itself is enough to make you cry.)

Drive to the facility. (This is much more difficult than it sounds. It entails driving through city traffic, aka rush hour. Then Timmy, the GPS, tells you to go the wrong way. Then you drive around a block 4.72 times because the building has no sign. Also, reaffirm that people from Oklahoma really don’t know how to drive. Or if they do they’re just jerks. Stop and talk to the guy at the cell phone place for directions. Drive around the block again looking for the cop cars now that you know it’s an HP office, as well.)

When you arrive there will be a line of 15 year olds toting all 36 members of their extended family, plus their older brother’s girlfriend’s family, extending out the door and around the corner. (Probably there were only 3 or 4 teenagers, but a total of 150 people were there)

Stand in line for 28 minutes before the driver training guy asks what you are there for:

Guy: What do you need?

Me: I need to renew my license.

Guy: Just renewed?

Me: My current one is from out of state, and it’s expired.

Guy: Out of state, really?

Me: Yes.

Guy: Let me see it.

Me: Show it.

Guy: Yep, it’s expired*. You’ll have to come back Monday to take the written test, and a driving test. We’re not accepting any more numbers tonight. Also you need your birth certificate or a Passport.

(They’re open for another half hour)

Me: I have to do both?

Guy: Yep try coming back Monday after 7:00.

*Thanks buddy, I wasn’t entirely sure about that.

So, you leave, get in y car, buckle my seat belt and scream. Then drive away from the driver training facility/Highway Patrol office knowing that they know that you know that your license has expired.

Call your mother to yell about it some more, but she’s probably not the best choice because she’s way too sympathetic. Instead of screaming you end up crying, while driving in rush hour traffic, in this stupid city, with an expired license. I hate crying.

Now be worried that you’ll miss your dance lesson because the traffic is so dumb.

The day did have a few small redeeming factors.

1. I got a birthday card from my sister.
2. I got a box of MRE pairs from my sister.
3. I got my ‘real’ birthday gift from my parents.
4. Shawn made me laugh at dance.
5. I got to sleep in my bed, the new one.

The end.

PS Dad: No inspiration today, sorry.