The Bear

Last night/yesterday the company man cooked dinner.  This was in celebration of his birthday (I made Rice Crispy Treats).  It was amazing.  I don't know what it's called, something French, but it's basically chicken stew.  Then there were the green beans.  Do they retain their nutritional value if they're cooked in a pound of butter?  And then there were the rolls. 

I think I may have died when I tasted the first roll.  They were the exact rolls that I've been trying to make since I started making bread (it doesn't happen very often, but...).  And they were fresh, and he told me the recipe.  I think I'm in heaven.  I need to go buy some yeast...

Today's Exploit:

Today in the safety meeting Mr. Doyle told us a story.  Actually he told several, but I didn't have my pen with me to take notes on my hand. 

This guy was out in the woods, when suddenly a bear started chasing him/his party.  The only weapon he had was a flare gun.  So, in desperation, he turned and shot that bear in the chest with the flare gun.  (Apparently it was chasing them on it's hind legs)  And it went "Aarrrreeeeaaaauuuuuggghhhh" and waving it's arms, and stomping and clawing at the air (Mr. Doyle demonstrated for us) and let them escape. 

Later I was on my way to run, and I returned the container that my amazing French Chicken Stew came in.  I told them I was going to run.  They told me to watch out for the hogs, and the cows and the deer.  Jokingly I said that I was most worried about the deer.  But they didn't get the joke, so they started telling me how dangerous cows with calves are. 

Story 1
One of the calves in the heard had some problems, it was not healthy.  But the mama wouldn't let anyone near it.  Finally, they took a truck and herded her away, then kept the truck between her and the baby.  One guy jumped out to vaccinate the baby.  While he was out the cow attacked the truck.  She hit it so hard the bed came off.  The guy jumped back in the truck and took off, but the bed was upside down over the baby.  I'm pretty sure the bed of the truck died that day, because no one was willing to get close enough to her to help. 

Then they started talking about the bulls, how lazy they are out here.  And that turned into bull stories. 

Story 2
A guy had this HUGE bull that was almost like a puppy.  It would approach people wanting to be petted.  One day the bull was in the barn, and the guy was petting it when it turned on him.  He jumped up and grabbed one of the rafters and swung his legs up to wrap around it.  But he was unable to get himself up on top of the rafter. 

The company man was going to visit, but no one answered.  Suddenly he heard "HHHEEEEELLLLLPPPP".  So he went to investigate.  When he entered the barn, the bull was huffing and snorting and trying to hit the guy in the rafters.  (He demonstrated, pawing at the ground and huffing and swing his head around)  He was able to open the gate and let the bull out and rescue the stranded guy. 

I'm pretty sure this guy will never live this down, especially after bragging about how tame his bull was.

A Discovery

Today a mosquito hawk died on my keyboard.  I was innocently reading the Pioneer Woman's cooking blog, when the insect fell from the sky and landed near my left pinky.  This is the first time I've seen one up-close.  I've saved a few from our box, but they've always been to active to inspect closely.  I inspected this one.  They remind me of the big metal aliens in the Fifth Element.  They have the bulbous eyes with the long tapered nose.  And they have a big hump right behind, like the 'shoulders' of the aliens.  That's about where the similarities end. 

See the resemblance? Photo from here

Having this monstrous bug drop, practically in my lap, made me curious to know more about them.  I've always heard that they eat mosquitoes; therefore they are good bugs and in the same category as spiders.  But I discovered that they don't.  The larvae eat roots, and the adults eat nectar (if they eat anything).  Talk about a big disappointment. 

PS In mentioning spiders, I've reminded myself that I grew up in a place where spiders are the good guys.  I may have to rethink that position now that I'm in the land of crazy/multitudinous/ginormous-creepy-crawly-things, that sometimes BITE and can be POISONOUS.

Today's Exploit:

I've not been getting much sleep the past few days.  I've had to stay up and build tools a couple days.  We went to breakfast one day, and then I came back and had insomnia (so I made cookies).  And today I decided to stay up and wait for the cleaning ladies. 

Our room hasn't been "cleaned" since I got to this rig.  That's almost 2 months.  Not that we're dirty, but I haven't been cleaning the shower like I do the sink and toilet. 

So to wait I went running.  Five miles today.  And I made enormous Buttermilk Biscuits for the rig crew.  And I talked to the aforementioned rig crew for about an hour.  Then I returned to the trailer.

The shower was still a disaster, but they had moved all my laundry (strategically placed to deter the making of my bed) and made the bed.  Aaarrrgh.  Not too bad, but they'd also washed my sheets.  I mean, I appreciate the effort, but I'm PICKY!  Eczema sucks, and I'm afraid other people's detergent will aggravate it.  The worst part was that they were still there and I couldn't remedy the situation IMMEDIATELY. 

So I went into town to buy groceries.  I want to make Rice Crispy Treats, and a flourless Chocolate Cake.  (I'll try to post these on PJ's Kitchen) 

When I got back I stuck my sheets in the washer, and got into the clean shower.  And then I tore all the bedding off the bed.  That was a very stress-relieving activity.  Then I put my sheets in the dryer.  By then it was 11:00.  So I gave up, wrapped myself in a blanket and fell asleep on a bare mattress. 

At 12:47 the phone went off.  But I'd just fallen asleep and was not in the proper state of mind to register anything more than the fact the phone was making noise.  I jumped out of bed, hit a button on the phone to make it stop and was in the bathroom, half way through my "morning" ablutions before I registered what had happened.  The phone rang, it was not the alarm. 

I fell back into bed and probably was asleep before I landed. 

Another PS  I am SO ready to leave this rig!

Bribery

The past couple days have been very hectic for me.  I ran five miles Thursday, and the roads are hilly.  Friday I carried the SlimPulse six times.  (SlimPulse is the tool I run.  It is copper tubing about 30 ft long, 1.5 inches in diameter filled with electronics. In other words it's not light.  And sometimes I have to add extensions, which are solid steel.)  To carry the tool, I pick it up and rest it on my shoulder.  I have no padding on my shoulder, so it hurts really bad.  I couldn't sleep on my right side after that.  Also, I could hardly move the next day.

Just when I was starting to recover, my shoulder didn't hurt to touch, and I was ready to run, we did it again.  This time I only carried the tool four times, though.   

When I started I had to have a physical.  They made sure I could lift 75 pounds to shoulder height.  Then they told me that, because I'm female, I am only allowed to lift 30 pounds.  The SlimPulse is definitely more then 60 pounds.  So every time I do my job, I am breaking the rules.  Go figure.

Today's Exploit

The other night I made Banana Bread.  But I didn't have a bread pan, so I used a muffin tin.  Of course I had to share.  (These guys get used to getting food real fast, ie, one time.)

Last night I was on the rig floor, when one of the rough necks, Billy, started teasing me about not bringing something for them again.  Normally I ignore this, but later the driller turned on some cajun music.  Another rough neck, Paul, started dancing. 

I asked Billy if he was going to dance, too.  He said he would if I brought muffins.  Lucky for me I had some left over.  So I handed them out and the boys started dancing.  Imagine a cross between Pistol Pete dancing to Cotton Eye Joe and an Irish jig.  It was hilarious. 

Later Ed came up, so I gave him some muffins.  I wasn't going to make him dance since he didn't get any the night before.  But the driller decided he had to.  Oh, my sides hurt. 

I know bribery is not generally smiled upon, but this is too much to resist.  They've told me that they'd "really get down" if I bring something tonight.  I'm not sure who is bribing whom here, but I know we all come out happy.

Show the Love

I'm getting to know the rig hands I'm working with a little better.  (I've been here almost 5 weeks) They actually talk to me when I go up to the rig floor now.  They tease me about cooking for them, but I'm tough and won't give in.  A stress free working environment is more important than feeding people.

Today's Exploit:

I was talking to Malcom while he was running the rig.  He was giving the driller, Josh, a break from sitting in the box.  (They have lots of boxes.)  He was telling me stories about drinking, both at home and with the rest of the crew. 

Josh happened to come in while Malcom was telling how Josh gets while drunk.  Evidently he likes to tell everyone he loves them, and smell the women's hair. 

Later when Malcom went up to the derrick Josh had to defend himself.

Josh:  I don't tell EVERYONE in the bar I love them. Just a select few.

Me:  Just the ones you really do?

Josh:  I think I do.

Me:  Hahaha

Translation: He really does tell everyone ;)

More Drunken Adventures

The other day Randi got back from her little interim job.  When she arrived we still had part of a bag of M&Ms from the guy who came when she left.  That evening when I got out to the box:

Randi:  I've been munching on these M&Ms, I don't know whose they are.

Me: Jack left them, so they're for whoever wants them.

Randi: Haha

Me:  He also left a big pot of spaghetti in the fridge, if you want some.

Randi: Hahahahahahaha (nearly in tears)

I have no idea why that was so funny, but the scene itself makes me laugh.

Today's Exploit:

The other night I went to the bar with the other "Directional" people.  This was a group of 6 people: 2 DDs, 2 Turbine hands, and 2 MWDs. 

Randi was taking a nap when everyone got ready, so she wore a pair of shorts (her legs are about 9 feet long, and the shorts were made for a normal person).  So she caused quite a stir when we showed up. 

Everyone was a little crazy because we were stuck, and didn't really have any work to do until they got un-stuck, or decided to leave the tools that were stuck in the well. 

The turbine guys had started drinking at about noon, so they were already in a good mood.  The DDs got their country and classic rock tunes going on the jute box, Randi had about 3 beers in the first 5 minutes we were there. 

We were off to a rockin' start!  I watched a few games of Pool, learned to play Darts and heard crazy stories from the, now drunk, guys I'm working with. 

Toward the end of the night the police came into the bar to see how things were going.  By then I was stayig to make sure the last two guys made it back to the rig, so the three night people were there.  Trev, the turbine guy, got very panicked and asked for the keys to the truck so that he could sit out there.  I, not being very trusting, went outside to unlock the truck for him. 

In the time it took him to get in the vehicle, Rob decided he was ready to go as well.  But they wanted to stop for some fast food. 

The first place was closed, so they opted for another.  That place was closed as well, so they settled for a gas station.  By the time we got there Trev was snoring in the back seat.  Rob and I went in, and he got about $20 worth of snacks: chips, crackers, Gatorade, sandwiches, ect.

We got back in the truck and, after a short debate about the correct way to turn onto the highway, headed back to the rig.  (We may have driven for hours if I'd listened to the crazy drunk)

Rob spent the entire ride to the rig yelling crazy stories, trying to wake Trev, or get some sort of reaction.  He told him that the cops were here an wanted to know where they lived, that the mean company man wanted to talk to him, anything nasty he could think of.  To no avail. 

We got back, and I got them into the trailers.  I had to go inside for a moment, and when I got back out Trev had lost both his teeth (a bridge) and his dog.  We were able to find the dog. 

Never did find the teeth.  Whoops...

Hats, or Gloves, Off

My sister got a hula hoop for Easter.  And it lights up.  I'm a little bit jealous.  She's also very proud of the fact that she won the Easter egg hunt in 3 minutes.  She claims I always win, but it's not true.

The crazy Irish guy got me an Easter lily and some Easter cakes.  He was very disgusted with the market because they didn't have any cut flowers, just potted ones.  I'm ok with that.  I've been wanting some plants.  And these are pretty and smell excellent.  Now, I just have to keep the DD from taking it to try and kill his cats (apparently it's poisonous for them to "nibble" on the leaves).

I just cut the open flowers and put them in a glass so that the plant will live.

Today's Exploit:

Somehow these funny times always happen at the morning safety meetings.  Guess that tells you a bit about the people I work with?

Mr. Doyle was commenting on how hungry Red was that morning.  (He ate several sausage biscuit sandwich thingies.)  He also noted that Jesse had his daily pop tart.  He then asked what John had for breakfast.

Driller:  John doesn't eat breakfast, he eats my gloves. 

Everyone else: (Head cocked, dumbfounded look, some hysterical giggles.)

We were a bit baffled by this statement.  Eventually everyone laughed about it, though.  And we learned that John goes through gloves at an alarming rate. 

John:  I've used one pair of gloves since we got here (2 weeks ago)

I don't know who to believe. But, at any rate, let the good blog topics keep rolling...

Sweet!

Today I went into town again.  Last time I went I looked for the zebra, but didn't see it.  I was beginning to think it was just a really funky colored cow, and I was just imaging that it was striped.  But I SAW IT AGAIN TODAY!  Sadly I was in a hurry and didn't have my camera, again.  Someday I will document this phenomenon.  (It was hanging out with miniature ponies.  They're good buds)

Today's Exploit:

At the store today I was minding my own business looking for some piping bags when these jumped out at me:

These candles are AMAZING!  They are definitely going to be used for the PickleCake Party! (May 14, but this year we are celebrating June 4)  And the boxes!  I found some mini cupcake wrappers that had that design, and I kinda like it.  I may have to go back to that store and take the rest of their stock.  THEY'RE PERFECT!

Also today, I had the fun items in the box to take a picture when Mr. Doyle came to chat.  (Mr. Doyle is the night company man)  I really like him and he loves to tell stories. 

Mr. Doyle was telling me a story about the Postal Service near his home in Louisiana.  I guess they have the "Something" Oaks post office in a single wide trailer in White Hall (another town consisting of 1 store at an intersection).  Also the postal routes of 2 other towns pass this store daily.  (He was baffled by the confusion of mail carriers that pass the store each day.)

He was chatting away when he saw my candles.  He thought they were quite funny and asked me what they were for.  I said, "My sister, who calls herself Cupcake."  He cracked up.  He thought my nickname was even funnier...imagine that, Cupcake.

Whirling Cow Disease

I am still enjoying Passive Aggressive Notes.com they have some really hilarious ones.  I even forgot to check Cake Wrecks last night because I was reading them. 

In honor of this anomaly I have decided to write my own passive aggressive note.

Dear Mr. Guy,

Thanks for the dinner invitation.  (Once was enough, you didn't need to remind me 5 times)

I really enjoy our "post-run" chats, but I'm not so fond of you coming into my trailer and talking for an hour, when I need to be sleeping.  (I do have to work nights) 

Also, stop asking me what I eat for breakfast.  (PS that's my "dinner" time)  Also, you have no right to tell me what I should or shouldn't be eating.  Insinuating that I am fat is not nice.  (Have you looked in the mirror recently?) (PS I am the only one that has the luxury to insinuate that and get away with it)

Thanks and have a nice day.

Cheers,
PJ

WahaHaha.  Just kidding... mostly.

Today's Exploit:

The other day I was running along like a good little runner when I saw a baby cow.  This is not generally unusual, I was running through a pasture.  But this little guy was all by him self.  No other cows in sight.  And it was walking in circles.  As I ran by I talked to it, probably asking it why it was alone.  It stopped circling and took a couple steps toward me, and onto the road.  When I didn't say anything else it started circling again. 

When I came back it had made it to the other side of the road, but was back to circling. 

While it was quite funny, it was also quite sad.  Something is seriously wrong with this baby.  This was reinforced later when I was in my car, leaving for home.  The little buddy was standing in the middle of the road.  When I approached it, there was no response.  No movement, no starting.  It just stood there staring at me.  :(

Orange You Glad?

Have I said anything about the crazy Irish guy on this rig?  He is in charge of the turbine, which is used near the drill bit.  He's a funny guy and comes up with some crazy ideas. 

Today's Exploit:

When he arrived I didn't understand a word he said for the first hour.  Gradually I got used to his accent and discovered he was hilarious. 

One of the first questions he asked me was if I liked to "party". (in other words: get drunk)

I said I don't very often, I'm not very good at it. 

His response:  Come stay with me for a month, we'll have you drinking with the best of the guys.

The next question was if I had a boyfriend.

His response:  Come stay with me for a month, we'll have you fraternizing with the enemy.

The other day I came out to the box to discover an orange on my laptop.  Decorated as what I assume is me:

It also says "Have a nice day"

On the DD's computer was a similar one:

Apparently he is known locally as "Slide-Dog"

The most recent encounter was when I got back from a run.  He had noticed that the day DD and MWD went to dinner with the company man and maybe a few others.  I guess he was offended that I wasn't invited so he offered to take me to dinner on Sunday if we are tripping (and I don't have to work). 

Hehe.