I have a retractable cat 5/Ethernet cable for my computer. I got it when I started my job, so that I have an easy way to connect to the internet while I’m at rigs. I just discovered that it has, attached to the sides, two adapters for regular phone ports. I am so observant that it only took me 20 months to notice this.
Today’s Exploit:
When I was home I got to go to one of the Thursday night dances that the dance studio holds every week. I also decided to be brave, or foolish, and wear a strapless dress. I don’t have a very good history with strapless garments. My body has the special shape that makes skirts ride up to waist level, and shirts or dresses slide down to the same area.
I made it successfully to the studio and distributed the cupcakes I’d brought, and danced a song with Shawn.
At this point I decided to take off my bra, because it seemed to be aiding gravity and nature in getting my dress to slide down.
This solution worked quite well for a while, until I had to do turns. Having my arms up allowed the dress to slip much more quickly. But I was still able to function, mostly.
The next song was a Tango. I usually dance these with Shawn, because…just because. I thought I’d be safe because this dance does not usually involve many spins.
I was doing quite well until a big dramatic part of the song came up and Shawn decided to do a big dramatic swivel/kick/lunge move.
Suddenly I felt the dress move. And before I knew it I’d flashed everyone in the studio. And a few people outside. And I was right next to the mirror, for one of those 3D, all around view experiences.
I am pretty sure I had it fixed before I finished turning red. I also had a very strong fight or flight moment and it took nearly all of my willpower to overcome the urge to run out and never return. But I mastered it and proceeded to the following conversation.
Me: GASP!
Shawn: Are you ok?
Me: My dress just slipped down!
Shawn: And I missed it?
Me: Astohishment
Shawn: That has happened exactly 4 times since I started working here, and I always miss it because I am in frame!
Me: Oh.
Shawn: Don’t worry. No one saw anything, except maybe Jose.
Jose is the sketchy Mexican instructor that wears too much cologn and makes me feel like I need to be wearing 7 more layers of clothing.
Me: Great. Glad it turned out to be him.
Shawn spent the rest of the even alternating between telling me that no one saw anything and teasing me about stripping in public.
Then he thought it’d be fun to put me in the spotlight again. On the microphone.
“I just wanted to recognize PJ…long, nervous pause where I was sure he was going to tell the world about my “new occupation”... for bringing cupcakes.
You’re welcome, now stop looking at me.
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