Bicycle Adventure

The weather down here is crazy.

I went for my daily run at 3:38 pm. The sky was clear the entire time. Not a single cloud floating around up there.

I got back and showered and found the sky was black, and rain was pouring down. And lightening hit very nearby. It was very loud and scary and shook the rig.

Today’s Exploit:

Walk the Dog

The other day I went to the beach. I was called to a rig, but when I arrived I was told they didn’t need me to be there for another two days, at least. So I went to Galveston Island. I walked on the beach and watched surfers and picked up bits of shells.

It was a lovely day.

Today’s Exploit:

While at the beach I saw many, many people run by. The sidewalk and the street are about 15.8 feet above the beach level, so I mostly saw them while driving and sitting in my car.

I’d found a nice place to park and sat on the passenger side of the car to change my shoes. I was admiring the area and watching people when I noticed one particular jogger. He was an older man. He wore ordinary clothes and was not particularly distinctive except for the fact that he looked a bit lop-sided.

I watched for a few seconds trying to discern the reason for the unbalance. At first I thought it was some sort of pack on his back, and that he was on a VERY long run. But the pack was lumpy and mostly over one shoulder, so I didn’t quite believe that scenario.

Finally he got close enough for me to see his “pack”.

He’d placed his dog…HIS DOG…over his shoulder. It bouncing around and hanging on for dear life. And it watched me as the guy ran by. I tried hard not to stare too hard, because I’m pretty sure the dog was begging me to take it for a normal walk, at least until the run was over.

And I was too slow with my camera to get a picture. I saw they guy again, on his way back. The dog was over his other shoulder watching the world go by. I took a video with my phone, but it was too pixilated to see any definition.  Here is a photo to show you a bit of the indignity that the dog suffered.

Picture from here.



Wardrobe Malfunction

I have a retractable cat 5/Ethernet cable for my computer. I got it when I started my job, so that I have an easy way to connect to the internet while I’m at rigs. I just discovered that it has, attached to the sides, two adapters for regular phone ports. I am so observant that it only took me 20 months to notice this.

Today’s Exploit:

When I was home I got to go to one of the Thursday night dances that the dance studio holds every week. I also decided to be brave, or foolish, and wear a strapless dress. I don’t have a very good history with strapless garments. My body has the special shape that makes skirts ride up to waist level, and shirts or dresses slide down to the same area.

I made it successfully to the studio and distributed the cupcakes I’d brought, and danced a song with Shawn.

At this point I decided to take off my bra, because it seemed to be aiding gravity and nature in getting my dress to slide down.

This solution worked quite well for a while, until I had to do turns. Having my arms up allowed the dress to slip much more quickly. But I was still able to function, mostly.

The next song was a Tango. I usually dance these with Shawn, because…just because. I thought I’d be safe because this dance does not usually involve many spins.

I was doing quite well until a big dramatic part of the song came up and Shawn decided to do a big dramatic swivel/kick/lunge move.

Suddenly I felt the dress move. And before I knew it I’d flashed everyone in the studio. And a few people outside. And I was right next to the mirror, for one of those 3D, all around view experiences.

I am pretty sure I had it fixed before I finished turning red. I also had a very strong fight or flight moment and it took nearly all of my willpower to overcome the urge to run out and never return. But I mastered it and proceeded to the following conversation.

Me: GASP!

Shawn: Are you ok?

Me: My dress just slipped down!

Shawn: And I missed it?

Me: Astohishment

Shawn: That has happened exactly 4 times since I started working here, and I always miss it because I am in frame!

Me: Oh.

Shawn: Don’t worry. No one saw anything, except maybe Jose.

Jose is the sketchy Mexican instructor that wears too much cologn and makes me feel like I need to be wearing 7 more layers of clothing.

Me: Great. Glad it turned out to be him.

Shawn spent the rest of the even alternating between telling me that no one saw anything and teasing me about stripping in public.

Then he thought it’d be fun to put me in the spotlight again. On the microphone.

“I just wanted to recognize PJ…long, nervous pause where I was sure he was going to tell the world about my “new occupation”... for bringing cupcakes.

You’re welcome, now stop looking at me.

Night on the Town

I was going to be productive last night, and churn out a few posts for the next couple days because I have some really juicy stories.

But then Procrastination happened.

And then the Job happened. And my good intentions went to the seventh circle of hell in a fast car. Probably a convertible. Or at least a sun roof.

But I will be good tonight. At least for one post.

Today’s Exploit:

When I finally got home after my school, and after all the chores were done, like paying bills and renewing my lease and getting my Oklahoma driver’s license (boo), I finally ventured out of my flat and went to a bar. I went to one that I knew would have dancing. And it was kinda fun.

Naturally along the way I met some strange people. And some creepers. Gross.

Dance partner #1: The first guy I danced with was an older gentleman who I’d seen dancing with about three other people before he asked me. He was very good, and happy to be there. He told me stories about when he first started going to this bar, how different it was. And he told me about riding on “Gators” where he lives.

Dance partner #2: The next guy was not as experienced a dancer and he spent the whole time counting. Not out loud, but he had to move his lips to keep track of the beat. He later forced me to learn a line dance.

I have discovered that most line dances are quite boring. They do the same 4 movements over and over again for the entire 4 minutes and 38 seconds of the song. And at this bar they did 3 line dances. The one I learned they ended up doing 28 times, I watched 27. I’m amazed at how excited people are to do these dances, over and over and over again. I was bored before the first song ended.

Dance partner #3: This guy thought he was the gods’ gift to women. The first thing he told me while we were dancing was”

“I’m pretty good, I’ve been dancing since I was 12.”

Turns out I’m better than him and I’ve done this dance a grand total of 32 times.

I danced with this guy a couple times, and after every dance he’d touch my shoulder or my side, or stand WAY too close. I wanted to yell at him: I’M HERE TO DANCE, NOT BE YOUR ONE NIGHT STAND, SICKO!

But I was nice and just stepped away.

Dance partner #4: This kid was crazy. He was a very enthusiastic dancer. This nearly resulted in a few pulled muscles and finding myself upside down on more than one occasion.

He liked to do stunts, but wouldn’t tell me before he did them. So I was upside down flailing, and trying to find my feet so I wouldn’t land on my head.

He also knew nearly everyone at the bar, and would randomly stop to talk to them. I’d be left to make my way out of the crush of people in the middle of the song.

Famous Cupcakes

So, for the past month I’ve gotten distracted, and been sidetracked and had writer’s block, otherwise known as “lack of motivation”. But I’m back, I think. And I have a few posts up my sleeve.

Today’s Exploit:

I survived school by the skin of my teeth and was sent straight to a rig. At the gate to the location they stopped me and had me wait for an escort, because this place has ridiculous security. Then they decided that I needed to leave my car at the gate. This was good, because they have “bump gates”, which I’d never seen before. And they probably would have been too much for Starla to handle.

I’ve worked with the guys on this rig before. They are the ones that adopted Little Buddy. (aka Charlie aka Ruby) And the ones of the embarrassing, awkward pork chop dinner. And so on, and so forth.

I hear they’ve spent the past few months harassing Virginia. They wanted her to make those cupcakes that I made for them. Those really good ones. Yeah, the good ones that P.J. made. Unfortunately for Virginia, I made that recipe up, even if they were able to come up with a name for them.

This time I worked with a new crew. One of the ones that worked days last time.

Naturally they were expecting baked goods. And I was sad to inform them that I don’t really do that anymore.

They didn’t believe me. They wouldn’t even take the excuse that I didn’t have my car. Poor Starla was at the gate, 16 miles away. And they didn’t believe that I’d been sent straight from school, and had none of the required items for baking.

They hassled me a lot.

Filler

So, I was going to be motivated and up to date for my posting today. I was going to post about my traumatic weekend, but then my sister called. And I had to talk to her for a while, and then I had to help set up for the barbecue. And then I had to attend the barbecue and throw the football until my arm fell off. Because the South Americans are rather fascinated. And they really can’t throw a football at all.

I also watched a very intense game of soccer, aka the real football. And got hit in the head twice by wicked kicks. Therefore I don’t have a new post completed.

The end.

Class Outing: Chinese Dining

The other day I went running. Normally I run down the alley to the larger street and take a left. Then I run until I’m tired and ready to turn back. On this particular day I was off to a good start when I came upon a large line of traffic. Rather than trying to dodge in and out of the cars to get to the other side of the street I decided to turn. I thought eventually I’d come to another cross street where I could loop around and get back to the hotel.

Not so much.

I ended up running through a rather frightening neighborhood. Lots of people sitting on their porches eyeing me with skepticism, wondering what this crazy white girl is doing running on their block. The kids were playing with trash in the muddy, mucky river. And the men made nasty comments in Spanish. I didn’t understand, but I could tell by the creepy glint in their eyes.

Finally I hit a dead end. And had to go back through the whole process. That was a long run.

Today’s Exploit:

Last week someone from my class was able to organize 16 of 21 of us to go out to dinner. The final selection for the restaurant was a Chinese place down the road.

After a small mishap where the organizer was left at the hotel, and three more people joined us, we were seated in a private room. With one large round table and a very large Lazy Susan in the middle, so everyone has access to all the dishes when they’re served.

Then we were told we must spend at least $150. After the initial shock of the number, we gradually realized that we had plenty of attendees to facilitate this, and got down to the business of ordering.

We have two people from China in our class, so they were explaining dishes, and taking orders that everyone was shouting out. Eventually we had what they deemed enough dishes, and they took the order to the wait staff.

Meanwhile I was trying to stave-off a migraine from flickering lights and far too much noise and claustrophobia from 16 people packed around a table meant for 10.

The loud Brazilian ordered Chinese beer, and became even louder. The two Chinese students blossomed in this setting, and were very happy and helpful and funny. And everyone had a good time.

Then the food came. And madness ensued. I’m pretty sure 4 people tried to climb across the table to get the first bite of food. Finally we had enough that nearly everyone could access food at the same time. That’s when silence fell

Every once in a while someone would come up from the depths of their plate to notice how good Mei and Danny are at using chopsticks. Or to ask for another beer. Or to look for another dish.

When the last person had slowed down to picking at a few remaining morsels we surveyed the carnage. Only a few pieces of lettuce and some peppers were left of the 23 dishes we’d ordered. Danny was so pleased and spent the next 23 minutes telling us how happy they’d be that we finished the food.

So we split up the check and filed out the door where the entire group proceeded to desert the drivers to walk back to the hotel or over to the ice cream shoppe.

And now I must be off to take some more notes.

Good bye.

Find-It

My classmates and I have been given access to a game room at the hotel in which we’re staying. It has a billiards table, which converts to a ping pong table. And a foozball game and air hockey, as well as a Wii. It is a very nice suite with washing machines for us as well.

The most popular part of this suite is the billiards/ping pong table. Along with the sink full of ice and beer and the fridge overflowing with beer and the counter stacked with backups to replace the ones taken out to drink.

Another popular aspect is the window. The first thing done when we explored the rooms was to remove the safety bar that prevented the window from opening. Currently it’s the place to escape to to drink in quiet, and to smoke. The smokers are lazy. They don’t want to go all the way downstairs and across the lobby to get outside. They’d rather climb out the window and risk getting caught by the angry security guard.

They’ve been admonished several times for being out there.

Today’s Exploit:

The other day I was bored, so I went to visit with the last DD as he packed to leave. He told me he was trying to decide what to leave here so that I would fit into his suitcase. He claimed it wouldn’t be too much. (And it was more than a little tempting.)

While I was there, getting in the way and being obnoxious he discovered that a pair of glasses had been misplaced. I had once mentioned that I was the find-it person at home and in school, so he designated me search party.

We looked and looked. I opened all the drawers and cabinets and looked under tables and behind the couch. Then we looked inside the couch. It was a hide-a-bed. We found a toy soldier, but no glasses.

Me: You’ll probably find them in three months, in their case, right where they were supposed to be.

Mike: That’ll be difficult, I tossed the case when I got them.

Me: Oh.

He decided to look once more in his toiletries bag, just to be sure. And guess what! Not in a case, but right where they were supposed to be. Amazing.

Mike: Now you’re really coming with me. I can never find anything.

Me: Ha!

Incriminating Evidence

Somehow at this school I am popular, still.

I think I am in some alternate dimension. Not only am I still popular, I’m still being social and outgoing. I initiate conversations with strangers. I am starting to think I have some sort of alien parasite that makes me not me.

I met another group of partiers last night. They might almost (almost) replace the ones I met when I first got here. The ones that kept me out nearly every night drinking and playing Ping Pong and generally not accomplishing any studying or work related tasks.

I was also told that I’m seducing all the Texas boys here. By a guy wearing a Wyoming shirt. Go figure.

Today’s Exploit:

One of my adventures of the weekend was going to a pub with the directional drillers: one Scottish, one Arkansas redneck, and one Harley Davidson maniac. We found this place with live music; an 80s cover band. And lots of people.

When we got there, we discovered that another group from our school was there. Three from Turkmenistan, and another from Scotland. So we all sat together. And drank lots of beer and really bad mojitos. And I discovered that the guys can’t handle Pear Cider.

Elena decided that we should dance. And for as tiny as she is, she can be very convincing. So we all danced and had a good time, and made fools of ourselves.

At the end of the night Jon was approached by a guy who sat at a table near ours. The guy told him that he’d been filming us all night and was going to post the footage on youtube. He apparently thought that we’d been doing something that may be incriminating. Probably he was just jealous of how much fun we had.

Jon never go the information about where to look for the video, you know how drunk people are...no attention span. So now we are probably youtube stars, but we may never know it because we can’t find the link.

Sad.