A Square A Day

Setting: A while ago we took Klay to the Texas Safari. A drive through zoo with many exotic animals. They give visitors bags of feed to attract the animals, and then send them on their merry way to see all there is to see. Toward the end of our day we were passing all the large birds, and an ostrich was in the road going from car to car begging for foods. When it came to ours it stuck its head an neck through my window, and when I didn’t have any food to offer it tried Klay’s window. He shrieked and ran to the other side of the truck…

“That ostrich almost ate my face off!”

Today’s Exploit:

I think I mentioned that I am trying to make a quilt from pieces that my second mom gave me a while ago. I finally dragged it out and started working on it again. I have finished 2 squares and have 15 left. 

So I have a goal: to complete 1 square each day for the next 2 weeks. Then I should be DONE with the first stage of this quilt. 

The next stage will be deciding how to put the pieces together. Should it just be the girlies? Or should it have spacers? If so what colors should the spacers be? How big is this crazy thing going to be? How fancy should I make it? 

Never ending questions.

In the mean time, I am focusing on getting the squares done. A square a day. 

Whew. 

Talking to Walter

This week’s reading recommendation: 

I love ALL of her books

Today’s Exploit:

Yesterday Walter, the other MWD, told me that his mom was almost 60 and getting to the age where she was starting to be crazy.  

And I laughed and laughed.

Mom and Dad, I thought you’d appreciate that.

Then we talked about parents and grandparents and siblings.

He has two crazy sisters and therefore thinks all women are scary.

I have one crazy sister and love hanging out with her because she makes me look meek and mild no matter how silly I am.

We have been sharing lots of stories and laughing a lot, and he ate 3 Lemon Brownies, so we are friends.

He likes checklists, so I drew this:

Where You From?

I made Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies last night. Then I ate way too many of them

Today’s Exploit:

The other day, when I was doing some real work, for a change, one of the roughnecks asked me where I was from.

Him: Hey, you ain’t from around here, where you from?

Me: I grew up in Wyoming.

Him: Whoa, you a long way from home.

Me: Yes.

Him: I was jus’ wonderin’ cause you got a accident,

I smiled an went on with my work, while inside I was laughing until my cheeks fell off and my stomach started hurting. 

Texas Style Adventure

My classes are feeling never-ending. I just want these last two weeks to be done. And then I’ll be finished, and no more worthless papers. 

Today’s Exploit:

I made a friend. 

And it wasn’t a tortoise or cow or fuzzy red ant, which, by the way, I have learned are actually wingless wasps and REALLY nasty. 

Ashley is from Florida. She is staying with the company man and she is going to run a marathon in November. 

We went walking because she forgot her running shoes.

On this walk we came across a bull in the road. On the other side of the fence was another, much younger bull. 

We slowed down and I yelled at them so that the one in the road would move. It did, about 10 feet further down the road.

After about 3.2 repeats of this process Ashley decided that the bull might charge us and wanted to be prepared. She found a large hunk of wood and carried it with her for the next half mile while we tried to convince the bull to leave the road long enough for us to walk by. I am not sure why this seemed like it would be a good idea. She claimed that her grandparents owned a ranch. But I didn’t think the bull was going to charge us, either. 

Eventually we made it to the gate and she thought it was safe to drop the hunk of wood. 

The bull decided to leave the road long enough for us to pass on the way back, but the cows on the other side of the fence thought it would be funny to run down the fence line just far enough ahead of us that we were in a dust cloud for half a mile. 

When we finally left the dust cloud behind, Ashley decided that her shoes hurt her feet and took them off. She walked 1.24 miles back to the rig in her socks. 

Thankfully she didn’t step on any of those nasty fuzzy red ants/wasps.

I Win at Guns

My sister has “discovered” a drawing/guessing app that is somewhat like Pictionary. And by “discovered” I mean “I told her about it thinking we could have a fun distraction”. 

However it turned out to be “she has turned into a maniac and will not let me do anything else because she wants to PLAY!”

Today’s Exploit:

Yesterday Matt and George were having a conversation about guns and ammunition.

This is nothing out of the ordinary, generally when they are both awake and in the same room they are talking about guns.

Matt was telling George that could use soap for something, but George said that that might be bad since soap has lye in it.

While Matt was looking on the soap box to see if soap still does use lye, he suggested using candle wax, and said that you could use “shorts” with it.

I automatically assumed some type of ammunition.

George, on the other hand, assumed clothing and said, “No, I think I’ll be wearing blue jeans if I do that.”

Matt: No, shorts.

George: I don’t think that would be fun.

Me: Ahahahaha!

Eventually George realized what Matt was talking about, and I got to make fun of him for catching on before he did.

That is probably that I will know what is going on in a gun conversation before someone who actually uses a gun.

She Wants To Look Like a Monkey, Too

I have been acquiring new nicknames from Oscar and Ali. Some of them include Mikalina, Taylor, Muffin Pie, Dewy and Meeka.

Today’s Exploit:

Ali has decided that she wants to do my workouts with me.

Today she made it almost halfway through the video. 

She complained the entire time about how out of shape she was and that she is a smoker.

She also told me I looked like a monkey, laughed at half the exercises I did and talked loudly on her phone. 

But she wants to do another one tomorrow. I guess I’m impressed. We shall see how long this lasts.

I Just Like To Be Selfish Sometimes, OK?

I get a fruit tray from the kitchen every day. They write my name on the box so I’m not forgotten. I have had many spelling incarnations on that box. Today I was called Maya, yesterday it was Mkiah.

Today’s Exploit:

I had this conversation today:

H: Whoa! Lightning’s going on. They’re like pew pew pew pew pew. And I was like “Whoa”, and it was like “Whoa”.

PJ: ...

H: Hey, are you there?

PJ: Yes, just a sec I had to write that down

H: Write what down?

PJ: The lightening thing.

H: Why? Are you going to use it in your blog?

PJ: Maybe.

H: You’re actually going to write about me in your blog? You never write about me.

PJ: I wrote about you once.

H: You called me your friend.

PJ: It was the first time we hung out, you were my friend.

H: It was when we went to Wyoming!

PJ: Oh, see? I’ve written about you twice!

H: But you called me your friend.

PJ: I probably always will. If I write about you at all.

H: Why?

PJ: Because you’re mine. And I’m selfish.

H: You’re afraid if you write about me someone will try to take me?

PJ: Maybe.

I’m Not Sure How to Respond to That

I really don’t like my job today.

Today’s Exploit:

Alleah is the housekeeper at the camp that caters to the rig crew. They have individual rooms, a common room and make about 10.2 times the amount of food needed by everyone working on the rig. Alleah gets to clean the bedrooms every day, and the nasty boy-bathrooms. 

Since only three women are residing at this camp, Alleah talks to me a lot. I get to hear how disgusting the boys are and how horrible and evil the head cook is to her. I also have heard all about her boyfriend problems and know a great deal about her family. (Ali likes to talk)

The other night I was getting some salad to take with me for a “lunch” when she walked out of the kitchen.

Alleah: PJ, you have a nice butt!

Me: Um, thank you?

Alleah: No, really. Are those Lululemon pants, because those are awesome and make everyone look like they have curves.

Me: No, they’re just some cheap ones I found.

Alleah: Oh. Well, you have a nice butt, it’s nice and curvy.

Me: ...

Alleah: (walking away) It’s nice, you look black from the back.

I was completely blindsided by this conversation. Alleah has so much attitude, and she’s not shy about anything, and this conversation happened in the middle of the dining/common room. I don’t know how to respond to things like that, and I’m pretty sure anyone within earshot of her watched as I walked back to my room with my face flaming red and pulling my shirt down as far as I could.

The Green Thumb of Cooking

Today’s Exploit:

I got two small days off, when they sent someone to the other rig to take my place and before they sent me back to my rig. It was lovely and horrible. I loved that I got time off, I’m getting used to this schedule thing and going to another rig disrupted it. And it was horrible because I only had 2 days, gah.

But now I am back on my rig and dying from heat and lack of sleep. George basically forced me to go to bed, telling me that he’d make absolutely certain that my depth was right before they started drilling, and my night hand, Harley, said I could sleep late this morning if I needed. 

I like working with nice people.

Today, after checking on the computers and making sure everything was working properly, I went back to the trailer to make breakfast. I stuck a frozen waffle in the toaster, a store bought one because I never remember to make enough right before I go to work to have fresh ones. While it was toasting I was washing and slicing some strawberries to put on top of said waffle. Suddenly George was leaning over my shoulder sniffing like he’d just found the prize apple pie at the county fair. 

Me: It’s a waffle, do you want one?

George: No, but you have a way of making everything smell good.

Me: It’s a frozen waffle, I didn’t do anything to it.

George: I know! But everything you cook smells amazing. You have a talent!

So, evidently I have a talent for making frozen store waffles smell good. It’s, like, the green thumb of cooking. The Cinnamon Nose, or something. But it’s my magical talent, so I’ll take it.

The Stories I Hear

I have just spent an hour learning how to cite a reference.

Today’s Exploit:

Right now George is working days because Matt is on paternity leave. 

Being around George is like being lost in a library of fiction stories. Except that his stories are real. And he always has a story. Sometimes I’ve heard them before, like the time he was blown up, or that he’s been run over by 4 cars.

But most of the time they’re new. I’ve learned about his brother, who is 250 pounds of muscle and about as mean as a teddy bear until he snaps. Then, watch out! Or about his snake that he was growing to make a pair of boots, and a belt. But the snake is on the protected species list and they won’t let him. And he just learned that you’re supposed to have a special license to own this type of snake. 

He also was telling me how to train your dog to count. It’s all about the treat. And he’s got a pet goat. It’s named Dog. 

I Have a Valentine

Countdown:  32 Days.  Also, Day 10 for my new workout.  I can almost walk like a normal person again.

Myrtle Mint has not yet gotten her haircut.  I have been too busy reading about Bloody Jack, a crazy pirate girl.

Today’s Exploit:

I have a Valentine.  

I had forgotten what the day was.  I mean, I knew what the day was, because I have to note it on all my paperwork.  But I’d forgotten that it was a holiday.  

I’ve even been thoroughly enjoying the flavor of the month Blizzard at Dairy Queen.  

But then my good friend Larry, one of the company men, came out.  He had a plastic bag with him.  I was at a loss as to what this might mean, but I was sure to be entertained.  Larry is an accomplished story teller, if you catch the start of the story.  Otherwise it’s a bit hard to understand his accent.

Turns out he’d gone to town and gotten boxes of chocolates for both Jeana, the other MWD, and me.  

Larry:  Happy Valentine’s Day, Miss PJ.

Me:  Wow, thank you Larry!  That was so nice.

Larry:  Well, I know how you women get about these things.

Me:  Haha.

Larry:  So, I thought I’d better get something for you ladies, since you’re out here.

I shall have to get more ice cream for him this afternoon.  

Remembering the Hillbillies

Countdown:  58 Days.

I. Love. My. Job.  In a demented, angry sort of way.

Today’s Exploit:

Today I was remembering some of the people I know from Louisiana.  Lots of them are called Coon Asses.  I’m not sure why, and I’m not sure what region contains them.  But they’re funny.

I remembered Mr. Doyle’s story about beating his brother with a dead raccoon, er possum.

And the time everyone on the rig floor danced a jig when I brought food.

Also, that there are people who still name their kids things like Billy Joe.  And those kids are both very sweet and a bit loco.

The Makings of a Nightmare

The night DD calls me "Princess".  

I’m not sure if I should be worried about this, or find it completely hilarious.

Today’s Exploit:

I had a nightmare last night.  It was horrible, and scary, and terrifying.  I was relieved when my alarm went off.  

My nightmares don’t involve monsters or aliens or murderers.  

They involve me getting hit in the mouth.  Or not.  Yet somehow I always end up with broken teeth.  Last night’s was particularly nasty because whatever I did ended with four of my teeth broken and bleeding.  Yes, in my dreams my teeth bleed.

It never fails that I wake from these dreams feeling my mouth to make sure my cap didn’t fall off in the night.  I have to reassure myself that the rest of the teeth that were “broken” are also still intact.  

Then it takes about 30 minutes for my heart rate to return to normal.  

His Name is Jack

Sitting on the porch watching birds:

Harriet:  Are those martins?

Ricky:  Nope, they’re Smiths.  Or maybe Jones’

Today’s Exploit:

I am still trying to unpack.

I am down to 47 boxes of kitchen supplies.

I started out with 5237 boxes.

I have a table and a couch, instead of random pieces of wood.  And I hid almost all my blankets under my bed so I have room in my linen closet for sheets.  

Now I just need some pictures and maybe a rug or two for it to seem like a real home.  

It already has a pumpkin.  

His name is Jack.  He’s a happy vampire.  And he’s guarding my porch, while quickly turning into moldy mush.

I vant to share your milk and cookies.

I’ve never had a pumpkin get mushy so fast.  Stupid humidity.  

Guarding the yard that I can't see.

Morning, Honey

The mosquitoes are out.  

Tony and Ryan killed 58 last night while I fixed the computers.

Today’s Exploit:

This morning Ryan forgot something in his backpack.  When he came back to the box to get it he had, what I though was, a hilarious story.

He walked into the trailer to find Ricardo asleep on the couch.  

So he quietly shut the door and started taking off his boots.  

Just as he was slipping by the couch, into the hallway, Ricardo woke a bit.   

Not all the way, just a little.

He said, “Hi, honey.”  

Then he snuggled back into the couch and went back to sleep.  

Ryan was a bit disturbed by this.  

Ryan:  No one’s ever called me “honey” but my mom.  I think I liked it that way.  

I just laughed and laughed.  

Gobble Gobble

Herb, the Dirty Old Man, is back.

Still making me laugh and still making things awkward.

Today’s Exploit:

I made pumpkin cookies today.  

They were supposed to be for dinner.  

I ended up with nearly 5 dozen.  

I might not have any left by the time dinner time actually comes.

These guys are gobbling them up.

I Think That’s What He Said

Cupcake is doing P90x!  She’s made it through one month already!  

It’s to get into shape so that we can run a marathon next spring.  

Not really, it’s only a half-marathon.

Today’s Exploit:

Larry is the night company man.

He’s funny.

I can only understand about half of what he says.

I think he’s from Louisiana.  I still have a hard time with that accent.  

They say things like:  We-onna-ig-uh-ih-a-it.  (We’re going to rig up in a bit)

Or maybe:  Yr-ool-edy-oo-oo?  (Your tool ready to go?)

Mostly I smile and make non-committal noises because I don’t really know what he said.  

He seems to be ok with that.  

So long as I’m ready to go when they need me.

I’m Worth Two

My favorite song today:

I need you like another broken heart

and a hole in my head,

I need you like a six foot grave

and a high speed train wreck,

I bet you find it hard to believe 

but I miss you like a bad disease.

-Schuyler Fisk

Today’s Exploit:

I was up for ages the other night.  We got all our computers running and the cables routed to the proper places and the tool built and programmed.  Then all that was left was to wait for the rig.  

I waited until 4:30 am.  

We finally started picking up the pieces of the assembly.  I had my tool ready to hook up to the winch and was waiting for my cue.  

I watched the driller and the DD talking, occasionally looking at me and pointing once or twice.  

I ignored them.

Then Rick, the DD, came over to talk to me.  

Rick:  I was asking Hector how many guys he had on his crew.

Me:  How many?

Rick:  He said 6, including himself.

Me:  Oh.

Rick:  Then he told me that I counted for one and you counted for two.  

Guess I’m pretty important, even though they don’t let me work.