An Abundance of Sprinkles

Tired

Today’s Exploit:

I was going to have a nice story about pretending to be a Paleo person, but then I had to do work at 2:00am after a late night, and the next night I had to do work at 1:00am. And I got tired and lethargic. 

I was also going to make cupcakes for the rig crews, but I was tired and the oven doesn’t work. So now I have an abundance of sprinkles and butter, and no way to use them.

Also, I wish I had a better story to go with this post title, because I really like it and this post is pretty sad.

Maybe tomorrow I can write an “Abundance of Sprinkles” story that better suits.

Lost in the Woods

I lost my fitbit. 

I thought it was gone forever and I gave up on ever winning a prize.

But then it came back today and I was happy.

The end.

Today’s Exploit:

I went for a run the other day. And H. decided to be nice and go with me. 

He is a little faster than I am, so I said he could go ahead if he wanted.

Then he said that he would run with me.

And he did for a little.

But then he decided to go on ahead, and didn’t tell me that he decided to do this.

I came to an intersection after he’d left me in the dust. I picked a way and trudged on, yelling for him every few minutes, with no response. And grumbling and worrying that I took the wrong path.

So I went back, and went down the other path for a ways, before deciding that we had missed each other when going back and looking, so I went home to see if he was there.  

Turns out he wasn’t, so I went back to the trails and did another loop and went miles and miles up the original trail I chose. I stopped to ask everyone I met if they’d seen him, but no one had.

Finally I gave up and went back down the trail to get some more water. I got back, after about a 9.9889 mile run to find him walking back from the house to find me. 

He’d gone all the way to the top of the trail, 9.5 miles round trip, and back. He must have come down while I was doing the other loop. And he waited and waited and waited for me to come back, because he didn’t have a key to go home. 

In the future, if he runs with me, I will make sure to specify that going ahead is fine just as long as you make triply sure that I know you are going ahead. 

Going Running, Again

Oni Devil, the cat that won’t cuddle Cupcake, cuddling me when I’m trying to sleep:

She is 2.1 inches from my face, sitting on my chest.

Today’s Exploit:

I am going to run another half marathon. This is my first race since the full one, except that color one with Cupcake. But this is the first long one. I’m excited, and nervous because last time I got cramps and had to hop across the finish. 

I have been following my marathon training plan, and am at the 6-8 mile stage. Last week I had the worst run in the history of ever, so I am nervous for this week. Although the previous week I had a super duper run and could have kept going. 

I am excited to see Eli and Cavan, because they are awesome kids and I have missed them so much. Also, they are going to be giants, and probably taller than me. 

This is what they looked like last time I saw them. That was 2 years ago.

Aren’t they adorable? I probably can’t call them adorable any more. They’ll have to be “handsome”.

Showering is Hazardous

Some very resilient flowers, hanging in there after 3 nights of freezing weather:

Today’s Exploit:

Last night the trailer ran out of water.  This happens occasionally, usually noticed when dish water stops running or someone’s laundry never finishes a cycle.  

Every so often it catches someone in a bit more awkward position.  

Last night the water ran out while I was in the shower.  

Thankfully I had about a 90.342 second warning when the water pressure started to drop.  I managed to get most of the soap out of my hair before the water was completely gone.  

I suppose I should be happy I didn’t run out of HOT water halfway through like I regularly did on the last job.  Due to the washer being cross-hosed (?). Everyone would wash clothes on “cold” and use all the hot water, right before I was ready to get in after a run.

Classic Love Stories Are Pathetic

Today’s Exploit:

I started reading Romeo and Juliet. So far I have understood about a quarter of what I’ve read and I’ve had to look up about 68.13 words. 

So far Romeo is completely consumed with love for someone he won’t name, and is pretty pathetic. Every other phrase is “Woe, is me”. 

Juliet has been asked to check out the suitor that has been talking to her dad, but she’s skeptical. 

As of right now, in the middle of Scene IV, it is nearly as pathetic a love story as Pride and Prejudice has been so far. And I still have not been able to bring myself to finish that one, yet. 

Why Are the Classes So EASY?

It is so dry at this rig that the first turn from the rig has a puddle of dust. When I run I have a hard time finding solid ground to get around it. So every step I take makes a dust cloud worthy of a large explosion, and I have gritty toes for the next 3-5 miles.

Today’s Exploit:

I have been worried about one of my last classes for this Business program since I saw that it was worth 2 more points/credits/whatnot than the other classes. I was afraid it would be harder, take longer, require more effort.

And then it started. I had dreams about forgetting to write an essay for my high school English teacher. It was horrible. He pinched my arm.

I started one paper. It was less than a page. 

The next one was more than a page, but not by much.

The third one was 2 pages, because it used the second one as Part I. 

This class is easier than my introductory class that wanted me to set goals.

How is it worth more than the worthless English and Marketing classes I took?

The hardest part will be compiling 7 or so papers into a PowerPoint presentation.

I hate PowerPoint.

Business Law is definitely more complicated, but not by a lot. 

I suppose I should know by now that the class will not be particularly challenging, I have been doing this for over a year. Yet, somehow, I am always expecting a class more along the lines of those for Engineering. 

I wonder if all Business programs are this soft? 

Spinach Explosion

I have a return customer for my cookies. I just wonder why the favorites seem to be kinds that I don’t like. That means that the extras are not particularly enjoyable.

Today’s Exploit:

I had a spinach explosion this morning. 

I was making a smoothie.

I have been making lots of smoothies this week. 

I’m beginning to consider myself a master.

Ok not really, but some have turned out pretty good. Especially the ones with blueberries and plums because they cover the color of the spinach.

This means that the smoothie is pink or purple rather than army green or gross brown.

Anyway, this morning I was trying to make my smoothie, and I had everything packed into my jar. I put it on the blender base and turned it on. 

The next thing I knew, spinach bits were all over the wall, the desk and my shirt. 

It took some thinking through the ensuing panic before I got myself together enough to hit the off button.

For as big a mess as it made there was still a surprising amount of spinach still in the jar. So I wiped it up and cleaned as much of the green off the wall as I could. And the smoothie still turned out to be drinkable, albeit with a bit of a mess around the rim, but still...

The Texas Bug Experience

I have a trainee. Some things he picks up really fast. 

But sometimes I’m left scratching my head in complete awe at how dumb he can be.

Today’s Exploit:

I have been having bug experiences this year.

Everyone has been telling me about how Texas has tarantulas EVERYWHERE! AHH!

But I haven’t seen a single one in 4.12 years in this oven.

Until last week.

Since last week I have seen about 17, Followed 2 around, watched the DD harass one with a stick and probably ran over 2 in Starla because they moved the wrong way when I tried not to squish them.

I have also learned how to catch them in a plastic cup, but I haven’t tested that lesson yet.

In other news I have seen a 7.863 inch long, poisonous centipede and an unknown millipede of the same length. Both were about as big around as one of my fingers. 

Exhibit A: The poisonous one. It has long creepy legs.

Exhibit 2: The unknown one. It has a bazillion short creepy legs.

The Great Mouse Hunt

Did you know that you can make flax seeds into granola? I didn’t. I want to try it but I can’t find flax in the middle-of-nowhere.

Today’s Exploit:

We have mice.

It appears that we have many of them.

We saw 3 in about 10 minutes the other day.

That is when the hunt began.

Matt and George and Reed take turns with the BB gun, they have set out a multitude of sticky traps and all the doors are blocked with towels to keep them out of bedrooms.

They do this because the mice seem to like to cuddle with me.

They managed to shoot one and catch another on a sticky trap. 

Another got caught in a sticky trap when they were all gone.

It was so sad. 

I hate sticky traps.

So I took the trapped mouse outside and dropped a brick on it so it wouldn’t have to struggle and eventually starve.

I didn’t like it.

I almost cried.

And there was no one there to give me a hug.

They Plague Me

I have been reading Terry Pratchett continuously for the past 2.475 months. I still have many books to go before I finish them all. Yet there are nowhere near enough of them left.

Today’s Exploit:

Another mouse is in our trailer. It was on my bed again the other night. I yelled at it and flailed around trying to throw it off my bed and into never-never land where it will live it’s life in rodent heaven and never want to climb on my bed again. 

Today I did laundry and washed my sheets to cleanse them of mouse filth.

Ew.

Also, today, George told me that he saved my life last night without me knowing it. He shot the mouse as it was making a dash for my room. Then he shot it again as it tried to escape from it’s spot under the stove. 

I’m not sure which makes me more nervous. The mouse or George.

At least it didn’t come and run around on my bed again. 

My sheets won’t last very long if it keeps doing that, since I have to wash them vigorously after being touched by the horrible, horrible monster. 

I think that this is one situation in which I would welcome Oni, and not hate her when she tries to sleep behind my knees. 

It Was a Bit Drafty, Just Didn’t Realize the Extent

We had a fire today. We had to stop working so that the roughnecks could put on their firefighter hats and save the day. 

PS A rig is not a good place for a fire, the whole thing can blow up. Especially if we have gas returns.

Today’s Exploit:

I’ve had another wardrobe malfunction. 

It was rather embarrassing.

I couldn’t even go hide afterward, they made me keep working.

Ok, I don’t know if anyone else actually noticed, but they could have!

Anyway...I was doing my job, getting the tool ready for the new run. I was all ready to go and had even moved it to the catwalk (it’s really called that) to be ready to pick it up.

*Side note* *My tool is about 30 feet long, weights about 180 pounds and requires the air-hoist, or hydraulic-hoist, or whatever-hoist to lift it to the rig floor.* 

Then they lowered down the old one, so that I could pull it down the catwalk (it’s really called that) and swap the lifting mechanism to the new tool.

Before the bottom of the tool reaches the catwalk (it’s really called that) it hits a ledge, where they can leave big collars and drill pipe that they might need soon. I put my foot up on the v-door for leverage and pulled the tool off the ledge. 

RRRRIIIIIPPPP!!!!!!!!!

My thoughts: Crap, my pants ripped, I hope no one notices. I didn’t think these ones were that old, and they don’t even look worn.

I pulled the tool down along the catwalk (it’s really called that) and set it down as gently as possible.

That was when I got a chance to look at the RRRRIIIIIPPPP.

No chance it was just a small one. Oh no. They ripped from the middle of my zipper down to the middle of my thigh. That’s a good 10 inches. 

So, there I was, parading up and down the catwalk (it’s really called that) with a brand new fashion statement going on. Not a particularly good one, either. 

Since everyone was waiting on me, I had the joy of picking up the other tool, going up to the rig floor to make sure it was sitting properly in the collar and putting a new o-ring on the flow sleeve.

It wasn’t until I went down to change into my backup pants that I realized how visible my electric pink and garish purple leopard print panties were.

Oh joy.

I Knew I Was a Beast of Burden, But Really?

I have been waiting for a year to find out what the date 22 March 2013 holds that is significant. I was told that if I waited until then I would find out.  I am still waiting.  Rawr.

Today’s Exploit:

I work in a horse trailer now. I am no longer worthy of a box. This is sad, in case you were unsure about that transition.

The box was insulated, and had a working AC unit and blocked the noise, well most of it, of a drilling rig. As much as I complained about it, I rather liked the box. 

My current working conditions are sweaty, loud and wobbly. 

The AC barely works, and does not keep up with spring temperatures. I dread summer. Not to mention, part of it fell on my face the other day. And I didn’t even get a black eye to show for it. Stupid AC. 

I got a little fan, and it helps a little. Sadly, I’m thinking I should have gotten the super-extra-mammoth-industrial-17 speed fan. It might have put a dent in this heat. 

The loud part comes from the fact that my horse trailer is made from some plywood. Just thick enough that a standard cabinet handle won’t work properly. It has no insulation, thus the heat, and the cold at night. (It was actually in the 30s the last 2 days.) And it sounds like I am on the rig floor with my ear against the loudest mechanism. It may be worse. It may be that I have a funnel gathering all of the noise and maximizing it to feed into my ears on the itty-bitty end. And that is on top of the standard buzzing of the transformer, and the AC fan trying it’s hardest to blow hot air into the sweltering mess.

The trailer is on wheels, naturally, but they didn’t think it necessary to stabilize it. Therefore it rocks like a see-saw when you sneeze, and wobbles awkwardly if you dare to breathe. It also dances in the wind and jitters in the rain. I have to work off my “sea legs” every time I get out for some natural light.

By the way, this trailer does not have any windows, the door latch barely works and there is no handle to pull the door closed. It’s fun, you get to slam the door as hard as possible without getting fingers in the way, or letting the wind catch it about 23 times before it latches. 

The Perils of Living With 42 Guys

Okay, Okay. Maybe it’s not 42, but it’s a lot.

On to the real post:

I have finished week 4 of Insanity. I now have a “recovery week” where I do something resembling yoga. And then the hard part starts. The second month is the first month times 7, divided by ‘really hard’, and added to ‘fear’. The solution is ‘I’m REALLY scared”. 

Yay.

Today’s Exploit:

Recently I have lots of stories about boys embarrassing me. It’s a pretty normal occurrence, although not necessarily relating to my bum. Lots of these encounters I can laugh at, and dismiss to guys being guys, and some of them being sleazy. 

I can laugh that Cupcake’s friend told her my bum looks like it weighs 20 pounds.

I can laugh at how tight my work “jeans” are, and that I can’t breathe when I wear them.

I can even laugh, later, when sleazy guys use sleazy lines, and I run out the door as fast as I can.

And I can mostly even laugh at the stupid comments that they make after I leave a room, the ones that Ali relates to me at our next breakfast “date”.

What is not fun is the staring. 

We have a group of guys here preparing the site for the production stage, they set up the storage tanks and the pipelines that lead to the larger lines across the road. They also live in camp with us, while they are here. 

Of the four guys, two of them stare at me constantly. None of the four have ever said a word to me. They just stare. 

And I’m to chicken to confront them.

So I hide behind a table if I have to get up while they’re in the room. Or I avoid the dining room if they get there first. 

Tomorrow I’m going to be really brave and talk to the company man. Wish me luck, because I will probably be shaking, and have sweaty palms. And probably I’ll stammer. But if I have to spend the next 3 days or 2 weeks of month and a half with them it will be worth it if I don’t feel like I need to wear a bag over my head and dress in a tent to hide. 

Ok. That was depressing. Next post will be more fun. Promise.

A Mini Dorm Room

I am reading Pride and Prejudice. I’m sure I’m missing much of the context due to the language difference, but so far it seems like a bunch of overly dramatic girls and very dense men. I have not discovered Mr. Darcy’s charm thus far. 

Today’s Exploit:

I used to live in a dorm. The rooms are small and you have to share. Also, communal bathrooms are gross, no matter how often they are cleaned. And mostly the whole floor knows exactly what you are doing at any given moment, and can hear all your conversations in HD.

This week I am living in a dorm room again. Except it’s a bunch of nasty guys on my floor, and the walls are made of 2.3 sheets of paper instead of .273 layers of brick. 

Through that wall is the door, people like to stand
there and shout as loud as possible.

The pros of paper:

-It doesn’t hurt when you fling your arm up to use as a pillow. No more scraped knuckles.

-It’s easier to decorate with cork-board “pictures”. A picture and a place to pin your papers, all in one pretty frame.

-If you trip and fall, you’ll fall through the wall and the debris will cushion your landing, rather than bashing your head on some bricks.

The cons of paper:

-If you fling your arm up, particularly roughly, to use as a pillow you will punch through the wall.

-The cork-board picture might fall down due to insubstantial support from the wall.

-If someone whispers on the other side of the building it will sound like they’re standing on your head and screaming as loud as they can in your ear. 

Also, I lived by the main door for 2 weeks. That was pure torture. Everyone is quiet at night. No one is quiet during the day. And they turn the heat to “blistering” and my room is the first on the overflow list. Then, if I open my window to cool down a teensy bit, someone will stand under it and smoke cigarettes the whole time.

My new room is larger, it has shelves and drawers, my
own sink and a connecting bathroom. And the only noises are
from generators. 

My Apologies

I am very sorry, but this may be my final post for a while. I have more posts in my queue, but I made an agreement with my mother that I would post more if she did. Sadly, she hasn’t kept up her end of the deal, and I’ve come to find out she made a similar agreement with my sister. So Cupcake and I have agreed to protest by discontinuing our posting.  I will start my protest today, Cupcake will start hers in one week if no new posts appear on The Naylor Home Front.

Until Mom posts again...

Adieu.

Today’s Exploit:

When talking about trying to convince my mom to update her bloggie:

PJ: I said I'd do more posts if she did. And then she didn't. 

Cupcake: haha she said she would do more posts if i did. and then she didn't.

PJ: I may have to postpone some of mine as incentive.

Cupcake: hahah do it.

The notice:

To my mom:

I have 2 or 3 posts ready to go, but since you haven't made any new posts I will be forced to postpone them indefinitely. I will make an apology letter for my next one, and then wait...

When Cupcake found out what I said: hahahahahahahahaha

Cupcake: you can tell her that i said if she doesn't make a post within one week, i have agreed to also postpone my future posts.

So, the notice continues:

My sister has also agreed that if you do not make a post within 1 week she will also postpone her posts indefinitely.

Thank you and good night.

Cupcake’s response: hahahahahahaha

Um, Please Don’t Do That

I spend my mornings in fear that one of the roughnecks will decide to use their gym, now that they’ve taken over the room I usually commandeer for my workout. 

Today’s Exploit:

When I arrived at the Canadian rig I got a lot of funny looks, because everyone was expecting a guy since my name is rather androgynous. 

Then I was accosted right and left for wearing jeans, everyone had to make sure that they were fire retardant. Many of the roughnecks were amazed when I told them that, yes, my jeans have the proper properties to wear at the rig.

One of these conversations happened after I had been talking to Kas for a while, and was almost starting to feel comfortable around him.

Kas: Are your jeans fire retardant?

Me: (Showing him my reflecties) Yes, they are.

Kas: That’s so cool, I want some.

Me: I hate them and avoid wearing them whenever possible because they’re so tight I can hardly breath when I do.

Kas: (Leaning to check out my backside) Well, I think they fit just right.

Me: (Stammer a bit and turn bright red)

Why is it that every one I start to feel comfortable with, as a friend, has to go and burst my little happy bubble by doing something like this? I like my bubble and only get self-conscious and awkward when I know that people are watching me. Especially my bum.

Boys are frustrating.