... A POOL!

I did 42 kipping pull-ups today.

Hands hurt now.

Today’s Exploit:

My parents came to visit this spring. They have really awesome luck when they come down, in that it always rains. They came down for Thanksmas one year and it had been beautiful and 70-75 degrees for the week before they arrived. It was rainy, sleety, windy and nasty the whole time they were here.

This time was the same. We got gallons and gallons of rain. I think we saw sunshine for 23.6 minutes the whole week. And that time was so humid it hurt.

Anyway, while they were here we took my dad to watch Klay be a Little Beast at my gym while Cupcake and I danced around and did choreographed kickboxing, or something. On the way to the gym we saw a skeleton of a house. No walls, no roof, just framing. 

My dad tried to make a comment on it, but was interrupted in a most hilarious way by Klay.

Dad: That house doesn’t have…

Klay: …A POOL!

It is now one of my favorite quotes of all time and I think of it every time I drive by that house, which is pretty darn often.

Conversation About a Stroller

The fitbit tracking competition has begun. After 1 baseline week we stand:

1 Dad: 92410 steps

2 PJ: 82262 steps

3 Cupcake: 71601 steps

4 Mom: 45091 steps

The real counting starts today!

Today’s Exploit:

The other day I was helping H clean out his house, because he is moving. He doesn’t have much stuff and we spent most of the time trying to get gunk off the floor and walls and (eek) bathrooms. Also, we spent a bit trying to organize the stuff that his brother and sister-in-law had left when they moved out.  

In one closet I found a stroller, some bed supports and two Army uniform skirts. I put these aside so that I could sweep.

Klay was with me at the time and asked what the stroller was.

Klay:  What’s this?

Me:  A stroller.

Klay:  What are you going to do with it?

Me:  Probably give it away or throw it away.

Klay:  Why?

Me:  Because we don’t need it.

Klay:  You should keep it, you might need it tomorrow.

He has been hinting for a while that he wants to be a big brother, and has upped his game.  He has also asked when H and I will get married so that he can have a little brother.  And has told us that he’d be ok with a puppy for a younger brother, for the time being. 

Just to be clear... this is all wishful thinking on his part.

I’m a Loud Baker

Happy Belated New Year. 

I have been busy pretending the internet does not exist. This might otherwise be known as procrastinating.

Today’s Exploit:

The other day I made some cookies and some rolls.

We were not busy and I wanted something to do besides trying to stay awake while sitting in an office chair surrounded by computer monitors.

So I made some Amaretto Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies and was told that I know what I’m doing because the cookies were not to chewy and not too crispy.  Not sure how I managed that, but I am getting better at pretending it was on purpose.

After I finished kneading the bread and washing dishes the directional driller, Dane, who had been sawing some serious logs the entire time I was in the kitchen told me I was too loud.

Dane: I wanted to take a nap, but you guys were being too loud.

Me: (trying not to laugh) Oh, I’m sorry.

Chris: It sounded like you were sleeping pretty well.

Dane: Why, was I snoring?

Chris: Yes, a little.

Dane: I guess I might have fallen asleep for a while.

And later to the other directional driller:

Dane: I got a good nap this afternoon, I missed the whole [football] game.

Where You From?

I made Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies last night. Then I ate way too many of them

Today’s Exploit:

The other day, when I was doing some real work, for a change, one of the roughnecks asked me where I was from.

Him: Hey, you ain’t from around here, where you from?

Me: I grew up in Wyoming.

Him: Whoa, you a long way from home.

Me: Yes.

Him: I was jus’ wonderin’ cause you got a accident,

I smiled an went on with my work, while inside I was laughing until my cheeks fell off and my stomach started hurting. 

My Sister Says

21 Days left.  I might be able to make it 5.012 miles at this point.

Today’s favorite comic: Surviving the World.

Favorite quote from said comic:   You really haven't lived until you've chased cats around your house like a raptor. The impression also works better when you're willing to bite people. - Dante Shepherd

Today’s Exploit:

My sister came to visit my rig.

Mostly it was because she wanted to steal the keys to my apartment, but still...

The first thing she said:  It smells like Texas.

The second thing she said had something to do with spilling a gallon of water in her lap.

The third thing she said:  Wow, you really weren’t lying!  

This was about the size of my wonderful/hateful box.  

*Note to Cupcake:  You must try chasing Oni Satan as a velociraptor.  Please tell me how it works out.  

I Have a Valentine

Countdown:  32 Days.  Also, Day 10 for my new workout.  I can almost walk like a normal person again.

Myrtle Mint has not yet gotten her haircut.  I have been too busy reading about Bloody Jack, a crazy pirate girl.

Today’s Exploit:

I have a Valentine.  

I had forgotten what the day was.  I mean, I knew what the day was, because I have to note it on all my paperwork.  But I’d forgotten that it was a holiday.  

I’ve even been thoroughly enjoying the flavor of the month Blizzard at Dairy Queen.  

But then my good friend Larry, one of the company men, came out.  He had a plastic bag with him.  I was at a loss as to what this might mean, but I was sure to be entertained.  Larry is an accomplished story teller, if you catch the start of the story.  Otherwise it’s a bit hard to understand his accent.

Turns out he’d gone to town and gotten boxes of chocolates for both Jeana, the other MWD, and me.  

Larry:  Happy Valentine’s Day, Miss PJ.

Me:  Wow, thank you Larry!  That was so nice.

Larry:  Well, I know how you women get about these things.

Me:  Haha.

Larry:  So, I thought I’d better get something for you ladies, since you’re out here.

I shall have to get more ice cream for him this afternoon.  

The Makings of a Nightmare

The night DD calls me "Princess".  

I’m not sure if I should be worried about this, or find it completely hilarious.

Today’s Exploit:

I had a nightmare last night.  It was horrible, and scary, and terrifying.  I was relieved when my alarm went off.  

My nightmares don’t involve monsters or aliens or murderers.  

They involve me getting hit in the mouth.  Or not.  Yet somehow I always end up with broken teeth.  Last night’s was particularly nasty because whatever I did ended with four of my teeth broken and bleeding.  Yes, in my dreams my teeth bleed.

It never fails that I wake from these dreams feeling my mouth to make sure my cap didn’t fall off in the night.  I have to reassure myself that the rest of the teeth that were “broken” are also still intact.  

Then it takes about 30 minutes for my heart rate to return to normal.  

His Name is Jack

Sitting on the porch watching birds:

Harriet:  Are those martins?

Ricky:  Nope, they’re Smiths.  Or maybe Jones’

Today’s Exploit:

I am still trying to unpack.

I am down to 47 boxes of kitchen supplies.

I started out with 5237 boxes.

I have a table and a couch, instead of random pieces of wood.  And I hid almost all my blankets under my bed so I have room in my linen closet for sheets.  

Now I just need some pictures and maybe a rug or two for it to seem like a real home.  

It already has a pumpkin.  

His name is Jack.  He’s a happy vampire.  And he’s guarding my porch, while quickly turning into moldy mush.

I vant to share your milk and cookies.

I’ve never had a pumpkin get mushy so fast.  Stupid humidity.  

Guarding the yard that I can't see.

Morning, Honey

The mosquitoes are out.  

Tony and Ryan killed 58 last night while I fixed the computers.

Today’s Exploit:

This morning Ryan forgot something in his backpack.  When he came back to the box to get it he had, what I though was, a hilarious story.

He walked into the trailer to find Ricardo asleep on the couch.  

So he quietly shut the door and started taking off his boots.  

Just as he was slipping by the couch, into the hallway, Ricardo woke a bit.   

Not all the way, just a little.

He said, “Hi, honey.”  

Then he snuggled back into the couch and went back to sleep.  

Ryan was a bit disturbed by this.  

Ryan:  No one’s ever called me “honey” but my mom.  I think I liked it that way.  

I just laughed and laughed.  

Obsessions

My new favorite quote:

If I call you darling, will you make me pancakes?

Today’s Exploit:

gardens

kitchens

party lights

mountains

running

snow

music

bread

smiles

chocolate mousse

going home

comfy chairs

basil

popsicles

nap time

air conditioning

cupcake pans

dancing

books

lazy mornings

shade

bright apartments

cold

oceans

gray shoes

laughing

sharp knives

ice cream

random numbers

lemonade

pillows

puppies

Myrtle Mint

I’m A Strong Gell

Another gem from Don.

He was telling me a story.  He is always telling me stories.  There are so many!

I don’t remember what this story was about but whatever it was it was “Better than beer and Monday night football, and moonlight and Vaseline.”

He was rather embarrassed that I remembered that one.

Today’s Exploit:

Patrick has taken it upon himself to tell everyone he talks to about my muscles.  First he told Tony.  Then he had to tell Tommy the next morning.  

He’s commented a couple times about how he’s ashamed that it’s easier for me to carry the tool than it is for him.  

Then he told the driller.  And the next driller.  He even told the company men when they came over to chat.  

And when our new friend James-from-the-office came he was told as well.

Patrick:  She’s a strong gell!  (Gell is Australian for girl)

James:  I like that in a woman.

Patrick:  You should look at her muscles!

James:  My wife is like that, too.  I think it’s sexy.

They sat there talking about my muscles and how it is attractive and/or embarrassing as though I wasn’t sitting right there, between them.

I was probably a nice shade of fuchsia throughout the conversation.

I Wasn’t Fast Enough

The other night Don, the company man, was telling me about some wells he drilled.  

They were “Drier than a popcorn fart.”

Today’s Exploit:

The other day Patrick spent most of the afternoon working on his car.  He cleaned the headlights and fixed a loose belt and fiddled with anything he could find under the hood.

He really likes cars.

When he ran out of stuff to do on his he decided that he would work on mine.  He cleaned and cleaned and cleaned my headlights.  He spent the whole time telling me about ways to clean oxidized headlights and the way he preferred to use.  

When he was done he decided that we should take a drive in his car.  And I should drive.

He has a Subaru.  A racecar Subaru.  With lots of numbers and letters after the name.  All of them meaning that it goes really fast.

So I got in and started the car.  And turned around carefully, avoiding all the sticks and roots trying to tear off the undercarriage.  

Then I crept along to the gate guard, who waved us through.

I turned onto the dirt road and we started measuring out the distances that each of us had run.  I was driving along at a moderate pace, somewhere around 35.2 miles per hour.  

Patrick complained that I wasn’t revving the engine high enough.  Also that I wasn’t going fast enough.  

We finally made it to a highway, so I turned onto it and drove along at the speed limit.

He was still complaining.  

So at the next turn he made me get out.  

He was going to show me how you’re supposed to drive a racecar.

We went fast.

Really fast.

And he made fun of me for being too tense.  

But he didn’t slow down, and we made it back to the rig in 5.6 minutes.  

It took me 15.4 minutes to make my segment of the trip.

The Larangus Attack

Sometimes I think the only thing that gets me through the day is the 82 popsicles that I eat.

Today’s Exploit:

Mark is addicted to Judge Judy.  He likes laughing at the stupidity of people.  

I like laughing at people’s stupidity as well, but I’m not completely obsessed.  He auto-tunes the TV to change to the Judge Judy program every day it’s on.  And he gets really excited right about 4:00 pm.  

The other day, instead of doing my workout, I watched with him.  

He talks through the whole thing, telling me exactly what happened 2.1 minutes ago.  I feel like I’m letting him down by actually paying attention so that I already know what’s going on.  But I don’t know if he actually notices that my answers are rather monotonous.  

The particular section that I remember from this show was a lady and her boyfriend.  She called him a friend, but golly, I think everyone knew why they went to that concert together.

She was suing him for attacking her on the way home, as well as damage to her car.  Bla blah blabla blah.  It wasn’t terribly interesting until the end when they interviewed the parties outside the courtroom.  

I love when people try to appear smarter than they are.

Lady:  We were driving along and he started being obnoxious.  Then he got mad and started assaulting me.  He even grabbed my larangus so I had a hard time breathing.

Really?  Your larangus?  Now that is a heinous crime.

Both Mark and Randi stopped what they were doing and looked at the TV questioningly.  

Me:  Her larangus, hahahahaha.

Mark:  Is that what she said?

Randi:  I thought she said that.

Mark:  I can’t believe someone said that to a camera, knowing it would be on TV.

Me:  Larangus.  Goodness.

Supermaaan! Whoops, Supertuurrrrtttllleeee!

I just finished week 7.  Wahoo.  

While I was dancing one of the guys asked me what I do.  

Me:  I work on oil rigs

Him:  I thought you looked like you had strong shoulders.

Actually it’s the P90x, but thank you.

Today’s Exploit:

At the zoo, our almost-very-last stop was to see the tortoises.  I am amazed at tortoises.  They’re so huge.  And lumbering, and huge and green.

Also, the flamingos were in the same enclosure, quacking at us.

But this turtle.  He knew how to live right.  He ignored the others drawing attention in the corner, and the ones curled up together by the fence.  

He was superman.  Tanning, no flying.  Yeah.  It must have been a pretty amazing dream.

A kindred spirit for Cupcake.  She did that a lot while she visited me.  I cooked while she baked herself to a crisp.

But I sometimes sleep like this, too.  When I forget to turn the AC down, or when I’m at the rig where the AC is turned to full-blast-freeze-your-toes-off during the day and to bake-at-350 at night.  Seems counterintuitive to me.  It also means that I don’t sleep much.  And the sleep I get is spent like this, with weird dreams.

She Claims We ARE Twins

I just made it through my 5th week of P90x.  

I still get sore every day.

Today’s Exploit:

I met my sister at the Denver airport and we had the same flight to Oklahoma City.  We didn’t get to sit together because we got tickets separately, but that was ok because I think we both slept most of the trip.  

When we arrived I waited until she was free to get off the plane before I did.  As we exited the plane to the gate one of the flight attendants looked at me, a little in awe, and asked if we were twins.

It reminded me of the time we were in Encampment for a concert by an acquaintance. We went up to the bar because she wanted a drink.  (She was underage at the time.)  The bartender, either flirting with her or in awe, asked if we were twins.  

Cupcake:  Yep!

Bartender:  Wow!

Cupcake:  And only the younger one needs to show ID, right?

Bartender:  Sure.

Cupcake:  Ok PJ, show him your ID.

She got away with this, even though our parents were right outside the door.  And we went back to sit with them.  She claims she felt guilty since they were there, but not enough to waste the drink.