Frio Weekend

Q: What did one wall say to the other wall? 

A: I'll meet you at the corner. 

Today’s Exploit:

We went to the Frio River last weekend. It was lovely and chaotic.

We stayed in a house with 12.2 people. 7 Adults (They claim), 1 Almost Adult, 5 Kids and 1 newborn (hence the .2). Plus two crazy dogs that thought 5 kids was AMAZING.

The weekend was a waterlogged adventure of too much alcohol, too much food and manic kids on a Tarzan swing. 

Friday night was beer pong and lots of drunken hugs and “I love you”s. Letting kids stay up too late and eating too many cookies.

Saturday was enough food to feed 87, an afternoon at the Frio itself and a bazillion tubers. 

Saturday evening was spent at the creek by the house with kids on the Tarzan swing. I went to the pool with them to make sure no one drowned. H. went with me and a couple others came for a while. I managed to be in the water when one of the kiddies let go at the wrong time and got a knee stuck between a rock and a pretty big root, shrieking his head off making people think he severed his leg rather than being stuck. Later on, when all the adults deserted me, another kiddie decided not to let go at all and smacked into the tree with the back of his head.

But overall it was a good weekend and everyone had fun and no one got seriously hurt.

Supposedly we’re supposed to go on a cruise next year…

Wurstfest in New Braunfels

I have spent more time slogging through mud in Canada than slipping on ice and snow. Everyone claims that January is supposed to be the coldest time of the year with temperatures around from -20 to -40 C. (That’s -4* to -40* F) But so far it’s been closer to 0 C (32* F)the whole time. And at the moment it is somewhere around 7 C (45* F). Texas is colder than that right now! What is going on?

Today’s Exploit:

In November we went to Wurstfest. My parents were in Texas for my marathon and my dad’s birthday, so we thought a party would be good. 

Naturally one must wear a hot-dog hat to a hot-dog party. 

That orange watch is an object of fascination to 4-year-olds

And make sure the kids take some pictures. 

He was actually taking a picture of the guy in the Robbin Hood had, but Cupcake photo-bombed

She Claims We ARE Twins

I just made it through my 5th week of P90x.  

I still get sore every day.

Today’s Exploit:

I met my sister at the Denver airport and we had the same flight to Oklahoma City.  We didn’t get to sit together because we got tickets separately, but that was ok because I think we both slept most of the trip.  

When we arrived I waited until she was free to get off the plane before I did.  As we exited the plane to the gate one of the flight attendants looked at me, a little in awe, and asked if we were twins.

It reminded me of the time we were in Encampment for a concert by an acquaintance. We went up to the bar because she wanted a drink.  (She was underage at the time.)  The bartender, either flirting with her or in awe, asked if we were twins.  

Cupcake:  Yep!

Bartender:  Wow!

Cupcake:  And only the younger one needs to show ID, right?

Bartender:  Sure.

Cupcake:  Ok PJ, show him your ID.

She got away with this, even though our parents were right outside the door.  And we went back to sit with them.  She claims she felt guilty since they were there, but not enough to waste the drink.

I Think it May Have Turned Into a Date

For the record, I thought I was doing a pretty good job of wearing long shirts and avoiding excessive attention to my bum. Turns out I failed utterly and completely. I’ve been told by multiple persons of the extent that the entire rig staff watches. Now I’m trying to burry my head back into my dark hole of obliviousness. I’m failing at that, too. Miserably.

Today’s Exploit:

Yesterday Mr. Chatty-driller came into my box 3 or 4 times to talk my ears off and to steal internet bandwidth. He barely took a breath the entire time he was chattering so much, yet he said absolutely nothing.

I’m still trying to figure out if there was a message behind the babble. It may take a while. My brain started picketing when my ears died.

Josh: So, I’m going to ask the guys if they want to go to dinner in town, do you want to go?

Me: Sure.

Josh: Really? I’ll go ask the guys and see what they say. I like to get away from the rig. I can’t stand staying here all the time, and…(the pointlessness continues).

Later

Josh: I asked the guys if they wanted to go, and they all said sure. But then I said I’d asked the girl to go with us and they all backed out really quick.

Me: Oh.

Josh: Yeah, none of them speak good English, and so they’re embarrassed and you’d be sitting there not understanding. They like to crack jokes, so they’d be joking with you. Oh, but do you still want to go?

Me: Why not?

Josh: Really? Wow, I’m really glad you trust me enough to go with just me. I didn’t think you’d want to still…(Insert some gibberish and you’ll have the rest of the conversation.)

We went to Chili’s. I decided we should sit at the bar because a table was a bit too personal. And I was afraid I’d learn something I didn’t want to know from the ceaseless waterfall of over-sharing. Turns out he didn’t care who heard, he was bound and determined to tell me all sorts of unwanted information.

These didn't help.  Don't be fooled by the cutsey photo, they took two hands to hold. 
And those bartenders were exceedingly generous with the tequilla.

Every so often he’d ask a question and I’d try to formulate a diplomatic response. But I was never quick enough and he’d be off and running again. Occasionally he’d remember that he’d asked a question and complain that I hadn’t answered, but still wouldn’t give me time to reply.

He also spent the entire evening leaning toward me. To which I responded by leaning into my other neighbor, who was too drunk to notice and therefore much less frightening.

Dirty Old Man

My new trailer:

6 Boys

2 Mice (They're now attached to traps and outside. The boys were scared of them and wouldn’t let me touch them, so they suffered miserably because one was just caught by the nose. Sad)

6 Boys

Lots of mud

6 Boys, gross

13 Loose roof panels. (I know this because the wind has been blowing like crazy, and the roof makes LOTS of noise. It makes it hard to sleep even if the rain sounds nice.)

By the way, boys are terrible at cleaning up after themselves.

Today’s Exploit:

The other night I was invited to eat dinner in town with the Company Man, Herb and the Clerk (I don’t know what he does, I’ve never been to a rig with a clerk before), James and the DD, Ricky.

They told me: We’ll be ready in a few minutes.

Translation: After the football game with 2:45 left in the 4th quarter. Therefore be prepared to wait for hours.

Naturally I was ready in “a few minutes.” So I watched the last 2:45 minutes of the game and in that time learned Herb’s life story. I’d tell you, but it’s not terribly riveting.

Eventually we made it to the local diner. There’s just one. It also happens to be right next to the only bar. They told me the diner had good food so, of course, they were out of steaks, ham, cheese, and a few other things that made up most of their menu.

Since I wasn’t completely absorbed by my food, I spent the time making fun of Herb. He was drunk. And he’s a self proclaimed Dirty Old Man. Some of his comments:

“Poor baby, doesn’t have a butt.” About our waitress.

“Now, she has a pretty butt.” About the other waitress

“Look at it, tell me what you think.” Really?

“That one’s a big one, woo! A big one.”

He defended himself by saying that he wasn’t touching. On the other hand he didn’t care who heard his comments. Those poor waitresses.

After I laughed at him for most of the meal he told me:

“You’re cute, you know why? Because you just don’t care.”

I guess it’s working because we’re friends now. He likes to tell me stories and invite me to breakfast, which he doesn’t cook. James does.

Bicycle Adventure

The weather down here is crazy.

I went for my daily run at 3:38 pm. The sky was clear the entire time. Not a single cloud floating around up there.

I got back and showered and found the sky was black, and rain was pouring down. And lightening hit very nearby. It was very loud and scary and shook the rig.

Today’s Exploit:

Night on the Town

I was going to be productive last night, and churn out a few posts for the next couple days because I have some really juicy stories.

But then Procrastination happened.

And then the Job happened. And my good intentions went to the seventh circle of hell in a fast car. Probably a convertible. Or at least a sun roof.

But I will be good tonight. At least for one post.

Today’s Exploit:

When I finally got home after my school, and after all the chores were done, like paying bills and renewing my lease and getting my Oklahoma driver’s license (boo), I finally ventured out of my flat and went to a bar. I went to one that I knew would have dancing. And it was kinda fun.

Naturally along the way I met some strange people. And some creepers. Gross.

Dance partner #1: The first guy I danced with was an older gentleman who I’d seen dancing with about three other people before he asked me. He was very good, and happy to be there. He told me stories about when he first started going to this bar, how different it was. And he told me about riding on “Gators” where he lives.

Dance partner #2: The next guy was not as experienced a dancer and he spent the whole time counting. Not out loud, but he had to move his lips to keep track of the beat. He later forced me to learn a line dance.

I have discovered that most line dances are quite boring. They do the same 4 movements over and over again for the entire 4 minutes and 38 seconds of the song. And at this bar they did 3 line dances. The one I learned they ended up doing 28 times, I watched 27. I’m amazed at how excited people are to do these dances, over and over and over again. I was bored before the first song ended.

Dance partner #3: This guy thought he was the gods’ gift to women. The first thing he told me while we were dancing was”

“I’m pretty good, I’ve been dancing since I was 12.”

Turns out I’m better than him and I’ve done this dance a grand total of 32 times.

I danced with this guy a couple times, and after every dance he’d touch my shoulder or my side, or stand WAY too close. I wanted to yell at him: I’M HERE TO DANCE, NOT BE YOUR ONE NIGHT STAND, SICKO!

But I was nice and just stepped away.

Dance partner #4: This kid was crazy. He was a very enthusiastic dancer. This nearly resulted in a few pulled muscles and finding myself upside down on more than one occasion.

He liked to do stunts, but wouldn’t tell me before he did them. So I was upside down flailing, and trying to find my feet so I wouldn’t land on my head.

He also knew nearly everyone at the bar, and would randomly stop to talk to them. I’d be left to make my way out of the crush of people in the middle of the song.

Filler

So, I was going to be motivated and up to date for my posting today. I was going to post about my traumatic weekend, but then my sister called. And I had to talk to her for a while, and then I had to help set up for the barbecue. And then I had to attend the barbecue and throw the football until my arm fell off. Because the South Americans are rather fascinated. And they really can’t throw a football at all.

I also watched a very intense game of soccer, aka the real football. And got hit in the head twice by wicked kicks. Therefore I don’t have a new post completed.

The end.

Incriminating Evidence

Somehow at this school I am popular, still.

I think I am in some alternate dimension. Not only am I still popular, I’m still being social and outgoing. I initiate conversations with strangers. I am starting to think I have some sort of alien parasite that makes me not me.

I met another group of partiers last night. They might almost (almost) replace the ones I met when I first got here. The ones that kept me out nearly every night drinking and playing Ping Pong and generally not accomplishing any studying or work related tasks.

I was also told that I’m seducing all the Texas boys here. By a guy wearing a Wyoming shirt. Go figure.

Today’s Exploit:

One of my adventures of the weekend was going to a pub with the directional drillers: one Scottish, one Arkansas redneck, and one Harley Davidson maniac. We found this place with live music; an 80s cover band. And lots of people.

When we got there, we discovered that another group from our school was there. Three from Turkmenistan, and another from Scotland. So we all sat together. And drank lots of beer and really bad mojitos. And I discovered that the guys can’t handle Pear Cider.

Elena decided that we should dance. And for as tiny as she is, she can be very convincing. So we all danced and had a good time, and made fools of ourselves.

At the end of the night Jon was approached by a guy who sat at a table near ours. The guy told him that he’d been filming us all night and was going to post the footage on youtube. He apparently thought that we’d been doing something that may be incriminating. Probably he was just jealous of how much fun we had.

Jon never go the information about where to look for the video, you know how drunk people are...no attention span. So now we are probably youtube stars, but we may never know it because we can’t find the link.

Sad.

Extra Excited!

Naps are the cure for everything. I think they should be mandatory.


The end.

Today’s Exploit:

Last night I was sitting on the floor, watching the crazy foreign guys (plus one from Missouri) play billiards. The extra crazy Scottish guy then decided to maul me:

Mike: Good Morning, Woman! What are you doing!

Me: Good Morning! Sitting.

Mike: Perrrfect!

Sits on me.

Me: Ack.

Mike: Woman! You make a comfortable chair!

Mike: Woman! Move your leg so you’re a more comfortable chair!

Mike: That’s better!

Later, when he finally decided that I was no longer a good chair:

Gets up and opens the door.

Huno: Where are you going!

(All these guys have one speaking pattern: Extra Excited.)

Mike: Out to tend my sheep!

Huno: What!

Mike: I’m going! Out to! Tend my! Sheep!

Apparently this means going to smoke. Learn something new every day, right?

Game Room

Torture:

Lack of sleep
Computer problems
1 Exam, on the offending computer
3 PowerPoint Presentations in the dark

Today’s Exploit:

Yesterday we had a party, to celebrate everyone passing our first exam. The “organizer” bought four cases of beer and invited everyone in the class. Only 8 people came. We have 21. So we invited some other classes. They brought a case of beer each. I think we still have about half left. And the party lasted at least until 2:00 am, I’ve heard.

Not that I was there that long. I left at midnight. Because I woke up at 4:12 that morning, or the one before, whatever. I was tired. And delirious. I didn’t need beer to feel tipsy and dizzy.

We played foosball, air hockey, ping pong, pool and some wii games.

I have acquired a coach for ping pong. He says I’m improving very quickly. Probably it was because I didn’t care if I played well or not. But we won’t tell him that until I actually try to play seriously.

It is time to resume the presentations.

Good Day.

The Scottish and the Wannabe-s

I have recently become aware that I have a very short attention span. The news says that kids have a hard time focusing because they watch TV too much, and the image is always changing and shows are continually interrupted with commercials.

I would like to say that TV is the reason I have the attention span of a three year old, but I don’t watch it very often. And books don’t have built in interruptions. My only excuse is that I find my job very dull sometimes. I watch my instructor and pretend I’m attentive, but really I’m noticing the grass growing. Or the person playing on their phone, or the dust motes in the sunlight.

I think I may be in trouble. I have to take an exam tomorrow, and I have no idea what the instructor talked about today, or yesterday…

Today’s Exploit:

Last night I went to dinner with some friends from South America. We met in school. And they all came back for school again. So we went to the bar and had appetizers and alcohol.

Then they decided we needed to play ping pong. NEEDED.

So we found a room with a table, and set up the net. Then the guy from Brazil told us how to play Rotations. It is a very complex explanation for many, many one point games with constantly changing “teams”. But we eventually figured it out. And we had lots of fun, and spent much time laughing.

Then the new guys came in. They played air hockey for a while before they decided to join us, and try to learn the rules. That’s when things got interesting.

Some of them had never held a paddle before, but thought they were amazing. Some of them were very good, but very drunk and therefore thought they should make up new rules each point. So the structure of our game deteriorated quickly. But the humor greatly increased.

See, two of the new guys were from Scotland. So we didn’t understand much of what they said. A third new guy was from Colorado, but really wanted to be from Scotland, so he spoke with a Scottish accent all night. The guys from Scotland just egged him on, so most of their conversations deteriorated into incoherent yelling after 4.27 seconds. But they were having a good time making no sense.

The rest of us were completely in awe of the ridiculousness of these people, so we had to stop playing our game and just watch the madness.

I spent the next three hours laughing. And watching the new guys play what appeared to be a charade of ping pong. And every 5.8 seconds I’d climb off my chair and retrieve the ball for them, before they had a chance to knock me down by crawling under it. I wouldn’t put something like that past any of them.

PS Dad: I am supposed to be studying right now, so you’ll have to find your own dinner ideas.

Cheating

When I am in the mountains I like to sleep outside. I usually sleep on the porch at the family cabin, but when it is occupied I have taken to sleeping in a cot near the campfire.

This works quite well, except on the nights we have campfires. Then the drunken boys hang out there until the wee hours of the morning playing with fire. Then they spend 38 minutes asking me if I’m sure I don’t need any more wood for the night.

All I really want is for them to go to bed. And I’m very tempted to point out to them that I did just fine last night, with no fire at all!

But it probably wouldn’t sink in. They’re drunk, after all.

Today’s Exploit:

While in the mountains I went for a hike to the almost top of Kennedy Peak. I went with most of the other kids. (The definition of Kid, in this case, means under 50, Ok, ok. Probably 35)

Anyway, the kids asked the adults how far the trip from the cabin to Kennedy Peak would be.

Parents: Probably .75 miles from the bridge to the turnoff, then another 3 to the peak. It’s about a 5 mile trip from here.

Kids: We’ll drive to the turnoff and hike from there.

Parents: Ok, we’ll see you later.

So the kids drive off into the sunset.

It was more along the lines of 3 miles from the bridge to the turnoff, and the sign said another 6 to the peak. So we decided to drive a bit further. No one thought to look at the odometer. So we stopped when we guessed we’d gone 3 miles. Eric parked the truck, we all piled out and strapped water to Brian’s pack and headed off toward the peak.

A good long while later Larry cruised buy on a four wheeler. He went to the peak and on the way back tracked the mileage. We had 2.9 miles to go. Then he went back to the truck to see how far we’d come. He came back and announced that the truck was 3.7 miles from the peak.

Everyone was a bit disgruntled about that. We’d been walking for hours! Ok, maybe 38 minutes.

After a few more dust showers as Larry drove by showing off, or playing, he told us we could cut off about half a mile by getting off the road and climbing straight up the mountain. So we did. We cheated. We blithely struck off into the little bit of scrub clinging to the side of the mountain thinking we’d make it to the top in no time flat.

Eric and Lindsay and Brian had no problem jumping up the hill like Billy goats. Elissa and I have been residing at lower elevations, and had a bit more trouble.

And then came the wind.

Over the course of about 10 steps the wind felt as though it had tripled in ferocity. At that point I wanted to put my sweatshirt on, but was afraid to untie it from my waist. I thought I’d never see it again. The wind would take it to Timbuktu before I even registered it was no longer in my grasp.

I also was afraid of moving too quickly, less the wind grab me and through me down the steep mountain we’d just climbed. I’d probably end up in Timbuktu as well.

We decided that the wind was too much, and didn’t make it to the top of the peak, and didn’t get to see the fire lookout. But we did make it back to the road without anyone flying away. So we thought it was a successful trip.

PS Dad: Tonight you should make Beer-braised Beef with Onions.

Fainting Sheep

Today at the safety meeting the company man lectured us for ten minutes on the proper chain of command. We are not allowed to go directly to the person who will be helping/doing the task. We must go through the driller.

I personally find this ridiculous. The chances of something going wrong due to miscommunication are abnormally high at this rig. I’m pretty sure the guys here speak a different language than I do. I only understand about a quarter of what I hear. I can only assume the same of them so I try to talk slowly and enunciate very well. Someday I’ll have to learn the language that roughnecks in Texas speak. It will probably help tremendously.

Today’s Exploit:

I worked with this kid for a couple months. He’s funny. I pretty much never stop laughing when I’m with him. The first thing we talked about was another guy we worked with and how he quit. And that we would probably quit if the economy wasn’t in the fish tank, or if we had useful skills. He told me that I can talk good, and type even gooder. That was when my email crashed and I had to restart my computer.  After that we talked more, about how horrible computers and hairy mexicans ae.

PJ: Computers suck. I'm going to move to the top of a mountain and raise sheep. Be free from the internet.

Gene : If you move to the bottom of a valley you'll be free from the internet too

PJ: And I'd probably also have water.

Gene : especially with fainting sheep

Gene : exactly

PJ: I might need some of those. Fainting sheep.

PJ: They would be good entertainmetn

Gene : fainting sheep are awesome

Gene : I'm gong to buy heaps of them and then run at them like a drunken madman

PJ: My thoughts exactly

And another conversation.
Gene : I'm out here working night MWD by myself on a D&I only job and training DD during the days

PJ: Sounds like fun. How sleep deprived are you now?

Gene : lets just say my alarm clock hasn't woke me up once, seriously

PJ: Wow.

Gene : and the ASAP I had out here kept shutting the HSPM machine down every 30 minutes or so. I just got a new one out here that is rockin the house

PJ: Sweet.

Gene : I haven't had one red number yet

PJ: Sounds like a keeper.

Gene : We were tripping in hole today and I thought sweet, this will be an awesome time to get a nap on the couch

PJ: Yeah right, like that’s going to happen.

Gene : 30 minutes later, a hairy Mexican rolls in here damanding a BHA. I was not impressed

PJ: Hairy?  Sounds amazing

Gene : Did I spell that incorrectly

PJ: no. I just think it's funny

Gene : oh yeah, he was hairy and greasy

PJ: ew

Gene : and I'm not sure his hair wasn't greasy

PJ: Even better.

Gene : I don't know, I tried to stay back

PJ: I understand.

I was laughing to myself even more crazily than I was with The Bloggess.  I think I'm starting to fit in with the weirdos out here!

Lap Dance

I had this really embarrassing moment a few days ago. I even had two days to write about it. But it was bad enough that I blocked it out. Until I got some texts asking if I was mad. They went something like this:

Shawn: Hey there! Are u mad at me?

Me: No

Shawn: You sure?

Me: Yes.

Shawn: Well did u have a good time Friday night?

Me: Yes.

Shawn: Alrighty then!

And amazingly enough, I’m not mad.

Today’s Exploit:

I went to a Friday night party at my dance studio. Friday night parties consist of meeting at the studio and then convoying to a bar/dance club.

This Friday we went to Friends. It was a smoky bar with a tiny dance floor. And it had a lot of people. They tell me it gets worse after 11, but that’s when we left. We then went to another bar called Cookie’s. Cookie’s is tiny, and even more smoky, and enough people and tables that it’s hard to move. But it’s a karaoke bar, and that’s what dance people do on Friday nights.

Anyway, back to the story. One of the rare songs that I sat out I was minding my own business, watching the other people dance, when I felt my chair moving. My instructor, Shawn, pulled my chair back away from the table. The next thing I knew he had his leg over me and was gyrating. I turned 36 shades of red and hid my face while the entire bar laughed. Shawn does everything in his power to make me turn red at least 47 times during each lesson. (Notice the arm pose? He made some comment to make me turn red .4 seconds after this picture was taken)

Later that night, at Cookie’s I was minding my own business watching the terrible singers, when suddenly I had a leg draped over my lap. Shawn was back. This time Veronica decided she wanted to be a part of the party. So she came over to envelop us in a group hug. With Shawn’s leg on my lap.

She likes to laugh at me when I turn red, too.

"Get it, Robbie!"

The last night at this crazy rig, while waiting for my tools to reach surface, I visited with Mr. Doyle. He told me stories about his family. For example, the one where he and his brothers didn’t think his grandfather could drive, and teasing him about it. Or about how one of his grandchildren will say Papa (him) every time his wife asks her to say Mommo (her).

And he showed me pictures of his grandchildren, and the horse he has for them.

I discovered why he thought my sister’s nickname was so funny. They call the horse Cupcake.

Today’s Exploit:

Since we were almost done, and just waiting until our tools got to surface, the Schlumberger crew went to dinner. When John made gumbo, I’d told them that I was scared to try shrimp. So on this trip they decided that I HAD to try it.

First they ordered boiled shrimp, and Mark told the waitress that we’d all met online, and chosen this steakhouse as the place to meet. She was a little frightened, and very confused at the differences in ages.

Then they made me try fried shrimp. It was ok, better than the boiled, but still not a first choice. I hope they are ok with that. All three of them were very intent on watching me eat it. I hope I entertained them. I was very scared.

Next we went to the bar. Fairfield only has one. It’s a rather dingy place, but it’s a bar. We were just visiting when the bartender told us that someone in the place had bought a round for Randi and me. For the rest of the time Randi looked like a prairie dog, trying to figure out who it was, and complaining that there were no guys in the bar. She deemed most of them too old to be of interest. Mark spent much of the time teasing her that it was the women at the end of the bar.

On the drive back Randi asked Robbie to do a donut. This was just before he saw the deer and decided that he wanted one to take home. Apparently it’s normal in the southern states to hit a deer and throw it in the back of one’s truck. He was very disappointed that he missed.

We eventually made it to a clearing for the “donut”. We drove to the center and stopped. When he started revving the engine, Randi asked what he was doing. (She was a little drunk. I think she forgot she asked him to do this) We ended up spinning about 11.87 times, with her screaming the entire time. Finally we stopped because she claimed she was going to be sick.

While sitting there, waiting for the dust to settle, we noticed a possum on the road. We roared over to within about 13.4 feet of it. It started moving off the road, and Mark yelled, “Get it, Robbie!” Robbie was out the door and running at the possum before I registered what was happening. He chased the thing for 2.16 minutes before it started playing dead. He and Mark spend the next 7 minutes trying to get it to move, and picking it up by its tail.

I think they’re lucky they didn’t get bitten, but they were in “hog” heaven.

Show the Love

I'm getting to know the rig hands I'm working with a little better.  (I've been here almost 5 weeks) They actually talk to me when I go up to the rig floor now.  They tease me about cooking for them, but I'm tough and won't give in.  A stress free working environment is more important than feeding people.

Today's Exploit:

I was talking to Malcom while he was running the rig.  He was giving the driller, Josh, a break from sitting in the box.  (They have lots of boxes.)  He was telling me stories about drinking, both at home and with the rest of the crew. 

Josh happened to come in while Malcom was telling how Josh gets while drunk.  Evidently he likes to tell everyone he loves them, and smell the women's hair. 

Later when Malcom went up to the derrick Josh had to defend himself.

Josh:  I don't tell EVERYONE in the bar I love them. Just a select few.

Me:  Just the ones you really do?

Josh:  I think I do.

Me:  Hahaha

Translation: He really does tell everyone ;)

More Drunken Adventures

The other day Randi got back from her little interim job.  When she arrived we still had part of a bag of M&Ms from the guy who came when she left.  That evening when I got out to the box:

Randi:  I've been munching on these M&Ms, I don't know whose they are.

Me: Jack left them, so they're for whoever wants them.

Randi: Haha

Me:  He also left a big pot of spaghetti in the fridge, if you want some.

Randi: Hahahahahahaha (nearly in tears)

I have no idea why that was so funny, but the scene itself makes me laugh.

Today's Exploit:

The other night I went to the bar with the other "Directional" people.  This was a group of 6 people: 2 DDs, 2 Turbine hands, and 2 MWDs. 

Randi was taking a nap when everyone got ready, so she wore a pair of shorts (her legs are about 9 feet long, and the shorts were made for a normal person).  So she caused quite a stir when we showed up. 

Everyone was a little crazy because we were stuck, and didn't really have any work to do until they got un-stuck, or decided to leave the tools that were stuck in the well. 

The turbine guys had started drinking at about noon, so they were already in a good mood.  The DDs got their country and classic rock tunes going on the jute box, Randi had about 3 beers in the first 5 minutes we were there. 

We were off to a rockin' start!  I watched a few games of Pool, learned to play Darts and heard crazy stories from the, now drunk, guys I'm working with. 

Toward the end of the night the police came into the bar to see how things were going.  By then I was stayig to make sure the last two guys made it back to the rig, so the three night people were there.  Trev, the turbine guy, got very panicked and asked for the keys to the truck so that he could sit out there.  I, not being very trusting, went outside to unlock the truck for him. 

In the time it took him to get in the vehicle, Rob decided he was ready to go as well.  But they wanted to stop for some fast food. 

The first place was closed, so they opted for another.  That place was closed as well, so they settled for a gas station.  By the time we got there Trev was snoring in the back seat.  Rob and I went in, and he got about $20 worth of snacks: chips, crackers, Gatorade, sandwiches, ect.

We got back in the truck and, after a short debate about the correct way to turn onto the highway, headed back to the rig.  (We may have driven for hours if I'd listened to the crazy drunk)

Rob spent the entire ride to the rig yelling crazy stories, trying to wake Trev, or get some sort of reaction.  He told him that the cops were here an wanted to know where they lived, that the mean company man wanted to talk to him, anything nasty he could think of.  To no avail. 

We got back, and I got them into the trailers.  I had to go inside for a moment, and when I got back out Trev had lost both his teeth (a bridge) and his dog.  We were able to find the dog. 

Never did find the teeth.  Whoops...

Too Many

I have had far too many exploits in the last day to come up with a good title for this post.  I am having a hard time deciding if I want to put them all in one post or spread them out.  But if I do that I am sure I'll have an even longer list with these people I'm working with.  So here goes, at least until I get tired or interrupted.

Today's Exploits:

Bluetooth:

This morning the DD was trying to get the Bluetooth on his phone to work.  He just got a new one because the last one died.  Rather the battery warped and if you pushed on the Mickey sticker there it would turn the phone off. 

He was struggling because the new phone is set up different than the last, and it has a touch screen.  Finally he got it to work and 5 or 6 options came up to connect to. 

His computer
The night DD's computer
My computer
His headset
and some others.

He laughed and told me the phone was pretty smart because it didn't want to connect to the other MWD's computer.  Did I mention that those two don't get along?  They always smile, but they NEVER agree.  I spend a lot of time laughing at them pretending to be civil.

Frolicking:

This morning the night MWD came frolicking into the trailer when I was having breakfast and waking up.  This is a person that says he's tired, but you can feel the energy rolling off him.  And he's always bouncy.

Later I was talking to the DD and he told me he was glad the night guys finally went to bed.  And that they were having too much fun laughing and frolicking.  I'm not sure they would appreciate the idea of frolicking, but it's the truth. And I think the Day DD is a bit jealous that they have so much fun. 

Camera Charger:

Last night I talked to my drunken dial buddy, Steve.  He is back out on a rig near me.  I asked about my camera charger, since he's been keeping it safe for me.  He was so kind as to offer to let me drive out to the rig he's on to pick it up.  He even said I could watch TV with him and the other guys.

It was quite sweet, but I think I'd have gotten lynched if I showed up there with no cookies.

Adventures in Drunkenness

Most of the guys on rigs don't ask me for my phone number, they just ask if I'm married.  When I say no they tell me they love me, one even asked me to marry him.  On the rare occasion (twice) that they ask me, I am caught off guard and give it to them.  This results in some pretty interesting phone calls...Late at night.

Today's Exploit:

The other night I woke to my phone ringing.  When that happens I just answer.  It takes me about 3.24 minutes before I can think/understand/reason.  Of course the first thing they ask is:  What are you doing? 

Damn, dude.  I'm the most boring person you know, all I do is Work and Read and Cook.  What do you think I'm going to be doing?  Hanging out at the clubs with my nonexistent friends? 

Well it turns out this guy had been drinking a bit and was feeling chatty.

Steve: Hey! What are you doing?

Me: Mpfht

Steve: I just got a tattoo!

Me: Huh?

Steve: Yeah, it's this little lawn gnome with funky boots and a funky hat pushing a lawn mower...just below my belt line...

Me: Huh, just what I wanted to know...

Steve: Yeah, one of my friends is a tattoo artist, and every time I go drinking with him, I get a new tattoo.

Me: Oh.

Steve: Oh, hang on, my neighbor's coming up to the door.  (in the background I hear some indeterminate mumbling, then...) Yeah, I just about run my truck off into the ditch!

Me: Shoot, you're driving, talking on the phone, and drunk?  I don't want any part of this...

To top it all off, he called to apologize the next morning...right in the middle of my run.