It Wasn’t Lifeproof

I have a house! I get in trouble for calling it mine, but I do it anyway. 

Really it’s ours, but MINE is more fun. I sound like a Finding Nemo seagull.

Today’s Exploit:

I dropped my phone yesterday. I had just been thinking how amazing it was that I still had my original screen protector on it. And I had been taking it out of my case more because my charger won’t fit with it on. 

But yesterday, it was in the case, and I just got back from my run. 

I had my phone in my hand, I was walking. And then it bumped against my leg and then was on the ground. 

The lifeproof case isn’t so lifeproof here.

My screen is shattered, and the screen protector is what’s holding it all together. 

And naturally, being at work, I have no place nearby to go to get it fixed, replaced or find a kit to do it myself.

I Was Hit By Lightning

I think the rain might be never-ending. I don’t like it because it floods the road and I can’t run. It would be fine, but I didn’t bring an extra pair of shoes and putting on clammy shoes is gross. And blistery.

Today’s Exploit:

I WAS HIT BY LIGHTNING!

Ok, so maybe not so much me as the rig that I work on.

But it hit within 20.376 yards of me. And that's way too close for comfort.

During one of the, seemingly daily, storms we were expecting a light rain, with most of the violence of the storm passing on either side of us.

However, the storm had other plans and took us all off guard. 

I was standing by the DD’s desk and talking to Reed. 

Suddenly there was a blinding flash and dragon roaring outside.

The dragon made the electricity flicker and one of the computers go SNAP!

While I was watching the computer to see if I needed to hit the floor to avoid shrapnel the dragon flamed and roared again.

And then some rain started.  And by “some” I mean “a torrent”. 

Matt ran back inside and yelled that I needed to check my equipment because they lost the monitor and the rig computers were down.

I didn’t really want to go outside, because the dragon was probably hiding behind the door, but I did anyway.

The lightning killed one of my computers and confused my signal receiver.  I had to make the other computer pick up the slack (and now it is running extra slow). And we had to call for a backup signal receiver because the computer would crash every time we started the demodulation program. 

Then the truck bringing the backup parts wouldn’t drive down the rig road because he was afraid of getting stuck.

Eventually we got things patched together enough to finish the job, but it’s sketchy.

Attack of the Sugar Ants

I just had to write a paper selling something. So, naturally, I chose Hello Kitty backpacks. Nerdy Hello Kitty, no less. When looking up reviews of this product I found some lovely gems that were something along these lines:

OMG! Hello Kitty is, like, so cool and I (heart) her so much! I totally, like, love this backpack and everyone should, like, totally get one to be as cool as I am now! OMG It's so exciting and I love it so much, everyone in, like, all my, like, classes is going to be, like, so totally jealous that I got this, like, totally awesome backpack. (;

Except with worse grammar, capitalization, punctuation and emoticons.

Today’s Exploit:

I had a nice long break between my last one and this one. Almost 2 1/2 weeks! In that time I worked on shelves (I’m ALMOST done), ran a long way WITH OTHER PEOPLE, and fought some ants that took up residence in my closet on my porch. I think I almost got rid of them, but we’ll see when I get back.

In the mean time. I arrived at the rig to find all my boxes piled up and ready to be unpacked. Which I did, in the heat, all by myself. I put the computers in the box, along with all of the cables and nonsense that needs to be hooked up. I ran cables to my sensor and a separate monitor, and I set up the satellite. By then I was nice and soaked from sweat and covered in dust from crawling around on the floor and sitting in the dirt to untangle some cables. 

My night hand arrived in time to run one last cable and set up his own computer while I showered and got some dinner. When I came back to the box, after a few hours, to set up some computer files I was assaulted by itty bitty sugar ants. These things like to bite. And then you feel all creepy-crawly with phantom ants for about 6.32 hours. 

After the one bit my hand I looked around to discover that they were EVERYWHERE! They were in Logan’s keyboard, on and under his mousepad, under all of the computers in mass quantities and hiding individually under cables. 

I killed 487.

Then I went and got some bleach, because I heard a rumor that they don’t like strong smells cause it means they can’t follow their neighbor’s trail.  

After about 2 hours of alternately killing mass quantities of ants and spraying the heck out of the counter and any possible entry space I started to feel sick from the fumes and gave up for the night. I still have to kill one or two every day, but it’s much better than being swarmed by them every time I try to work at any of the 172.6 computers. 

And now I have the creepy-crawlies again.  Gah.

Rolls of Leadership

Countdown:  Not enough days left.

I downloaded a bunch of eBooks free from iTunes.  They won’t open in my Kindle App because my computer is being stubborn; and they won’t open in my new BookReader App because they’re protected, or something.  Dumb free books.

Today’s Exploit:

Yesterday I was helping my sister with an application for a nursing scholarship.  

I was reading what she’d written, editing her punctuation (because I’m a jerk and can’t leave it alone), and adding some suggestions.  

I wasn’t paying close attention to my own typing as I did this, and ended up saying something about having a roll of leadership in the community.  

Now Rolls of Leadership are my first official, will-definitely-be-on-the-menu, item for PJ’s Kitchen.  The only problem is that I don’t know what rolls of leadership are supposed to taste like.

Fake Post

Countdown:  60 Days

Today’s Exploit:

I’m too busy making new playlists for Starla to write a real post.  I’m a terrible blogger.

Mud Bath, er Shower

Countdown:  63 days.  

Doctors: They give you pain meds you don’t want, then the antibiotic they prescribed doesn’t actually do anything and you have to go get a new one.

Today’s Exploit:

Yesterday the tool almost died again.  

After we tried fussing with the pumps and making 480,925 changes to the computers they made me change the pressure sensor again.

I checked with the driller, and he said he’d turn off the pumps and drain pressure from the pipe.  I went and got my coveralls, to avoid getting mud on my town clothes (aka the shirt Cupcake let me borrow) and got my tools.  

I took off the cable and the protector and checked once more with the driller that I could remove the sensor.  

He said it was ok, to go ahead.

I started turning the sensor very slowly, because I knew it would still have some pressure behind it.  Gradually it started leaking, so I knew it was almost free.  I made one more small turn, and BAM!

The sensor was gone and I was covered in mud and I had a 30.84 foot arc of mud shooting over my head.  

I took off my safety glasses and wiped them off. 

When I tried to put them back on I realized that the insides were coated with mud, not just the outsides.  

I didn’t have enough clean material on my coveralls to get it all off because I’d used it to wipe off my face.

When the arc didn’t decrease I ran upstairs to ask the driller if the valves were really closed.  He said that they were, and the flow would abate in a minute.  

So I went back down and watched for a while, until it was low enough that I could force a new sensor on.  I sprayed everything really well with ether-cleaner stuff and put my cable back on.  

Then I went and got a rag and went inside to see if it had helped.  That was when I discovered that I had black hair and a mustache.  

Once I was sure everything was back in working order, and had informed the Directional Drillers and the company man, I went to take a shower.  I spent the next hour and all the hot water dousing my head with dish soap and scraping at the mud on my arms with my nails.  

I Taught Her Well

I got my pumpkin.

It was really hard to find one that wasn’t perfectly spherical.

Today’s Exploit:

I had to teach my sister how to use her blog again.

And this time I didn’t give in and fix it for her.

I sent her instructions, then I gave her instructions through Skype.  

Then she yelled at me and told me she wasn’t going to do them.

But I held out and was patient.

And she eventually got it.  And she’s really excited.  And...she knows how to fix her own blog!

My little sister is getting all grown up...

Sleep Mode: A Baffling Experience

I finally read those dragon and wizard books by the scary octopus lady (I still equate the name Ursula with the evil witch from “The Little Mermaid”).  The ones my mom told me to read about 15.2 years ago.

A Wizard of Earthsea

The Tombs of Atuan       

The Farthest Shore

-Ursula K. Le Guin

I also just found out there are 3 more in the series.  Time to go to the bookstore...

Today’s Exploit:

Sometimes I wonder about the roughnecks I work with. 

Half of them are super-smart and I can’t hold a candle to the things they know.

But then I meet the ones that I rather doubt could find the on/off button on a computer without help.  

Yesterday I got a call saying that the computer I have on the rig floor wasn’t working.  

Me:  Hello?

RN:  Your computer isn’t working.

Me:  Ok, let me check that it’s still on the network.

RN:  The what?

Me:  It’s still communicating, you’re sure it’s not working.

RN:  Nope, it’s just a black screen.

So I walked up the 48 stairs to the sweltering doghouse.  I trudged over to where 3 guys are standing around a blank computer looking stumped.

I touched the mousepad and turned around to go back to my box.

RN:  Wait, what did you do?

Me:  Nothing.

RN:  Let me see your fingers.

Me:  What?

RN:  I want to see if you have a magnet there, or something.

Me:  The computer just went to sleep mode.  All you have to do is touch the mousepad or press a key.  

RN:  Wow, I thought it was broken!

Just Another Number

I made Balsamic Chicken Alfredo.

Yum.

Cream and butter and Parmesan and Balsamic vinegar.

Today’s Exploit:

I was fighting with my computer when Tony came into the box.

Ryan was sitting on the bench watching me alternate between sweet-talking and yelling at Betty-Sue.  He thought it was hilarious.

Tony:  I’m going up to slide.  Also, Hector wants your number.

Me:  Nope.  Come on, buddy.  You can do it.

Tony:  That’s it, huh?  Just nope.

Me:  Just nope.

Tony:  Ok, I’ll tell him.

Later he came back and told me that Hector was surprised when Tony said I declined to give him my number.  

Tony:  I think he was surprised I actually asked you. 

My thoughts:  At least it was a little better than asking him to deliver a note.  Still...

I am glad he didn’t ask me directly.  I have a hard time saying no to people.  

It Wasn't Heat Stroke

"Colors"

My skin is kind of sort of brownish
Pinkish yellowish white.
My eyes are greyish blueish green,
But I'm told they look orange in the night.
My hair is reddish blondish brown,
But it's silver when it's wet.
And all the colors I am inside
Have not been invented yet.

~Shel Silverstein

Today’s Exploit:

Today Matt discovered the reason the computer on the rig floor keeps doing the freak-out.

It works happily until he goes to slide, or change the direction of the well.  Then “KA-BAM”.  The screen locks up and the mouse stops working and the keyboard says, “Nuh uh”.

So we have to restart it and let it get running and open its programs.  

Then we can send the screen he needs.

First we thought it was the heat.  

It’s really hot.

So we propped it up on a giant bolt to allow air to circulate underneath.

It seemed to work for a while, until the next time Matt had to slide.

After re-sending the screen a few times this morning Matt called to tell me he’d solved it!

The computer works just fine, until he sets his iPhone next to it.  

Who knew?  A phone can shut down a computer just by being in the same air space.  Not even the fancy-schmancy programs that let you start the car or turn on the burglar alarm from far away.  

All it took was being within a couple feet of each other.

Technological magic.

The Search

Cabin? Cabin.  Kay, good.  I hope it gets cold tonight.

Today’s Exploit:

Searching for steel toed boots is a cinch.  

Searching for steel toed boots that will make as big an impact as my hideous pink ones is almost an impossible task.  

1. The same ones: 

Hideous.  And every one wants them.  Everyone.

B 1/2. The pretty ones:

They’re not quite so horrid without the blue.

Green. The Camo ones:  

Eh, they’re kinda boring.

C. The CATs:

They make me think of elementary school when everyone wanted Doc Martins, but settled for whatever looked closest.

Triangle. The Flowery ones:

The only ones I found that actually had any red at all.

O. The Moon Shoes:

Holey Freaking Awesome!  I would definitely wear these.  If they were slip-ons.

Purple. The Not-Boots:

They actually sell steel toed Hush Puppies.  I don’t think they’d let me wear these.  They don’t look like “real” work shoes.

Final. The Ones I Want:

These are amazing.  The only thing that would make them better is if the studs were rhinestones.  Too bad they’re Steel Shank instead of Steel Toed.  Turns out that’s a pretty big difference. 

I’m Gonna Sleep Outside

It took me 13 tries to rent a moving truck.  For as simple as that site was it was really confusing.

Today’s Exploit:

I get to go to the cabin!

I have vacation time.

I have airplane tickets.

I have a sleeping pad and warm hat ready to be packed.

I also have a jacket that I’m really hoping to need.

Now I just need some mountain weather.

Cross your fingers and hope for cold, just don’t tell anyone it’s my fault.

Got Plenty Help

According to George:  Women are taking over the oil-field.  And they know their s***.  

Today’s Exploit:

Yesterday we were rigging up.  

That means we roll around in the dirt and mud to get all our gear working. 

Actually it means we set up a lot of computers.  And fight with them for 3 hours.

When we had to set up our pressure sensor we went and asked one of the roughnecks for help.  He was happy to once we were able to translate the request.  

While he was pounding away at the pipe to get our sensor on the driller came up.

Driller:  You guys got no help?

Us:  Nope, just us this time.

Driller:  Oh, you guys.  You get plenty help here.  You office know this.

Us:  Haha.

Driller:  Everyone want help you here.

It’s true.  They always ask to help.  Or they give you tacos, or sno-cones.  Or they fix your car.  

Ha Ha. Tricked You!

The guy:  Outdoor adventure guide.  Travels all over the states for activities similar to a Ropes course.

The line:  I’ve stayed in some pretty amazing places, and I’ve woken up to many views that rival your beauty.


The response:  ... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Today’s Exploit:

I was really excited to come to this job because I thought I’d get to be the boss.  Not only work days, but be in charge as well.  I would be working with a contractor.

I was happily setting things up in the trailer when Patrick showed up.  

He’s not a contractor.  He’s just out of Eng-1, the three month class to learn about the basic tools.  

After getting most of our gear set up I finally hooked up the internet and got some emails.  

Turns out I get to work nights.  

Again.

Patrick has to break out on this job.  

I’m not sure I’m the best candidate to break him out.  I’ve led three jobs in my time here.  I’ve only worked with someone less qualified than I once before.

Also the rig is broken.  I’m beginning to think it’s me that causes these problems, for reals.

The Office Day

I think I get to be a big kid now and work days more than nights.  

Today’s Exploit:

I had to go into the office to make some logs.  I drove from the rig straight there.  My goal is to get everything done in as little time as possible.  Offices are depressing.  Although, this one was on the better end of that scale.

All my stuff was packed nice and snugly into Starla.  Myrtle was sitting in the passenger seat.  

Ok, she was sitting on the floor of the passenger side because it’s flatter there, and sitting in the seat mooshes her leaves.  

We had a nice 3.89 hour trip to Houston.  Then I packed up my computers and all the papers I collected while at the rig.  My pack ended up being about 48 pounds.  

Betty-Sue is one heavy computer.  And I had 3 tons of papers.  

I locked Starla, but I did a horrible thing.  

I forgot to leave the windows cracked to let Myrtle have some air. 

When I finished my logs and turned everything in I hauled Betty-Sue and all her support gear back to Starla.

Myrtle was dead.

I was sure.  Her leaves were dull and limp, and the stems were bent and lying against the pot.  

I hurried and started Starla and turned the AC on full blast.  This worked to my benefit as much as Myrtle’s, it was 972 degrees inside.

I talked to Myrtle a bit, coaxing her to perk up a bit.  She didn’t listen at first, so I just started driving.  After all, it was another 8.2 hour drive home.  

Luckily Myrtle wasn’t really dead.  She was bouncy as every by the time we got through rush hour traffic.  And nice and shiny, too.

The After Party, Breakfast Style

When I got back to this rig one of the first people I saw was my friend Joseph.  

Joseph:  I haven’t seen you in forever!

Me:  It has been a long time.

Joseph:  I’ve been crying every day since you left.  That’s why I’ve lost so much weight.

Me:  Hahaha

This kid weighed about as much as a toothpick the last time I saw him.

Today’s Exploit:

After dancing and putting away chairs, one of the guys I danced with came and asked if I would be Facebook friends with him.  I agreed because he said he’d be posting all the local dances, and that might come in handy.  

He also invited me to breakfast.  

A large group of dancers goes to a nearby Denny’s to eat after dancing, those who feel up to more socializing after the night is over.  

I had nothing better to do, so I agreed.  

It was an experience.  I forgot how crazy those kids can be.  And I used to be one of them.  

The had napkin wars, and played musical chairs and laughed a lot.  I also learned about 472 versions of Spiderman, including Spider-pig whose alternate identity is Peter Porker.  I learned about the problems of all computers, and how most of these kids build their own.  

Also, for the first time in my life I was not in the minority when I said I didn’t have a TV.  It was amazing.

It was fun.  I was in stitches most of the time.  

I met a kid named Chris-Matt, I’m not sure which is his actual name.  He seemed to be in the process of changing it.  

I also met Elliot, Ben, Emily, Ray, Andre, Ariel and many others.

Way to many to remember all the names.  I think I did pretty well with that 6.