I Didn’t Check on the Bird

The little dog with the green head? It has an attention span the size of a gnat’s step. I’ll walk across location, and it will see me and start running my direction. But halfway to me it will notice someone or something else and veer off in that direction. I don’t know if it’s capable of completing a thought.

Today’s Exploit:

I hit a bird today.

It almost made me cry.

It was the first animal I have hit while driving Starla. I think Starla wanted to cry too, but probably more because the bird punched her.

I haven’t hit an animal in a vehicle since that bird I hit while driving the van. I think I was 16. Mom was with me. She ducked and flinched more than I did.

Thankfully Starla has no lasting injuries. The bird probably didn’t make it. I didn’t stop to see. It’s a Prison zone, remember?

Myrtle Strikes Again

I’ve been doing this workout for 11 days now and I still don’t have six-pack abs. What’s up with that? That’s why I’m doing this nonsense.

Today’s Exploit:

After Myrtle’s frightening day in the sun she sat on the microwave for nearly a week. In the dark. Because oilfield people are afraid of the sun, apparently. They have all the windows in the entire trailer covered with cardboard and aluminum foil

First she grew really long and leaned a lot so that she could get closer to the smidgen of light that gets into the trailer between the cracks. So I turned her a few times to keep her mostly upright. Then she got so long I decided to cut her back, because she was mostly stems and almost no leaves.

I stuck the tops in water, so all is not lost.

And I kept turning her, but her big leaves began to droop. They were almost vertical when I got smart and took her to the box, where the windows are open. And she gets sunlight nearly all day.

Guess what?

The leaves were back up within 23.5 hours.

I think she’s in her happy place now.

I hate to have to tell her she needs to live in Starla for another long trip.

I Thought You Might Want To Call Some Time

The roughnecks called and said the computer got unplugged, and they needed the screen to keep drilling. So I got all my gear on and went up to the dog house and asked.

“Is it really unplugged? Or are you lying again?”

I’m on to them. But it turns out the computer really was unplugged. As for unintentional or not, I don’t know.

Today’s Exploit:

Recently I had to go up to the rig floor to fix the computer. On my way back to the box I passed through the parts room to get to the stairs. One of the roughnecks was in there and he stopped me.

Chris: Hey, babe. How are you?

Me: Fine, just fixing the computers.

Chris: Well, I wrote down my number for you, if you want. I enjoy talking to you.

Me: Oh, thanks. (I’ve only talked to him once before, and that was about carrying the tool)

Chris: We should keep in touch for the company.

Me: Ok, I’d better get back to the computers.

Chris: Bye babe, I’ll talk to you later.

I tucked the paper into my pocket and laughed all the way back to my chair. That was probably the awesome-est way anyone’s ever given me their number. Usually they ask for mine and call my phone so I can save theirs in the contact list.

Also? Sorry Chris, but I don’t really like talking on the phone. I’m socially inept like that.

I Like Recreational Math, Don’t You?

I just read The Time Machine by H.G. Wells. It was very good, I recommend it.

Today’s Exploit:

Last night I was talking to the new DD. New, as in, this is his first job as a DD new.

He is doing homework and takings tests to qualify for his classes. Part of that is a math section. He said he hates math.

I was appalled. Math is amazing.

So he asked if I’d help him. Naturally I jumped at the chance to do some recreational math. I even went through all the practice tests I have on my computer and answered all the questions to refresh my memory last night. It was a good way to waste a couple hours of the never-ending night.

When I gave him the papers for reference he was rather shocked. And WAY overly grateful.

I think he thanked me 27 times for the notes to use as examples.

I thought it was really funny, I felt like I should be thanking him for the nice diversion.

Dolphin Chatter and Duck Laughs

MomandDad.

I’ve just decided upon a new rule. You can’t argue with me about who pays for lunch while you are visiting me. If you do I might have to dive over the table at the restaurant and tackle you.

Just thought I should give you fair warning.

Today’s Exploit:

Last night I heard a phone ring. The ringtone was ducks.

I thought it sounded like dolphins and ducks.

Me: Was that a conversation between a dolphin and a duck?

Ronnie: No, just ducks.

Me: Oh. Just ducks.

Ronnie: I’ve heard some crazy ones, turkey calls and elk bugles and deer grunting. The turkey one is pretty funny.

Me: Sorta like the dolphins and ducks?

Ronnie: it’s just DUCKS!

Me: Hahahaha.

The Adventures of Myrtle

On Cake Wrecks one of the Sunday Sweets was a cake based on The Wee Free Men! It was awesome. Go look:


Wee Free Men Cake

PS I just discovered that they are making a Wee Free Men movie. For 2013. Too bad the world is going to end before it comes out.

Today’s Exploit:

Myrtle’s second big adventure was the day I decided she needed to be an outdoor plant.

Like I said, she’s a trouper.

I say it all the time, but it’s freaking hot down here. And I thought that my mint should live outside.

So I put her on a nice safe corner of the porch where she wouldn’t get knocked around by the door, or someone kicking her. Also she was off the ground and probably safe from the pack of savage dogs that roams this location.

Those dogs, they’d probably smother Myrtle in an attempt to get her to pet them. And the little one with the green head would wiggle her to death in excitement over some attention.

Back to my story. I put Myrtle out and then I went to bed. When I got up in the afternoon I got ready for a run and walked out the door to find her so wilted she was almost melting.

I immediately picked her up and took her inside apologizing for being so stupid to leave her out in the misery that is Texas during the middle of summer. I should have thought about that first. I probably would have looked even worse than Myrtle if I made myself sit outside in the sun all day. Poor buddy.

So she went back to residing on the microwave inside the air conditioned trailer.

A Stack of Dirty Bowls Would Make Me Cry

HAPPY SUNDAY!

I hope your day is filled with deviled-eggs and purple chickies and rabbit prints in the dust. And much happy family time.

This is what I hope is waiting for me when I get home.

Today’s Exploit:

I get to drive today! And see how much work it will really be to organize my desk.

Right now I’m imagining piles of papers, papers that I have to keep, overflowing and falling on the floor. All randomly tossed on the stack, with only a miniscule reference to where it is actually supposed to be filed.

And the spare bedroom. That is a nightmare of stuff I don’t otherwise know what to do with. And a few half finished projects.

Thankfully I have made it a rule to do the dishes and run the dishwasher before I leave. Every time. Even if it makes me late. Because the idea of going back to a stack of unwashed bowls and pans and spatulas and muffin tins would probably break me.

I’ll Hug Them and Squeeze Them and Love Them Forever

I just ate the greenest crunchiest banana ever.


It was a day and a half too crunchy. Woo. Makes me pucker up just thinking about it.

Today’s Exploit:

I get to see these buddies pretty soon.


I’M SO EXCITED!

I haven’t seen them in ages. I think they’re a little lot bigger now. It’s been about a year and a half, I think. It was just a few months after I started my job. And then they moved. Far away

But they called me on my birthday.  The bestest birthday surprise ever.

And the other day they had “PJ chips”. Their Mama said that’s what they call Salt and Vinegar chips, because they had them at the cabin.

I’m gonna squeeze them and tickle them and spoil them rotten. Then I’m gonna do it all some more.

Betty-Sue Was Saved By a Banana

I just realized that I only have one day to clean my entire flat. My list of things to do is half a page long. And then I also have to go shopping and get that stuff ready for dinners.

I’m slightly overwhelmed right now.

Today’s Exploit:

I did some yoga today.

Crazy hard yoga that made my arms hurt worse than the pushups and pull-ups.

It was going along nicely, with only a few grumbles about my arms trying to give out because I did so many cycles into upward dog and downward dog. I better have some wicked triceps after this.

Then came the balancing-on-the-hands pose, I think it’s called crane. I had awesome balance on my hands this afternoon.

So I happily went on to the balance-on-your-feet poses.

They didn’t go so well.

I was wobbly

I fell over a few times.

And I got CRANKY!  Woo.  It kinda surprised me.

Usually things like that don’t bother me much.

So I decided to stop early and get a banana to save my sanity. And maybe Betty-Sue’s life.

PS Betty-Sue is my computer. She is obstinate. I yell at her a lot.